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Our youngest child is now 25 yrs old and oldest is 42....we did the EXACT same thing back in the day.
Our kids were not allowed to "spend the night" at someone's house without having first met the parents....they were not allowed to "meet up" with someone unless we knew who at the mall....and that was THEN!
I think given how horrific things have become since our youngest needed this kind of "parenting" that this mom is SPOT ON!!!!!
We went out of our way to have all the "toys" the kids wanted back in the day...a pool, ping pong table, hottub, air hockey table, snacks available and other kids always welcomed at our dinner table....we wanted OUR kids to have the house the OTHER kids wanted to come to so WE knew what our kids were up to and who they were hanging with. BEST investment we ever made!!!!
Lying liars lie, eh? How many teenage girls do you have? IMO, 15 isn't a "young" teen. What do you want them to do, if not go to the mall? Hanging out in a shopping area is a time-honored activity for kids. I actually did that 50 years ago, when I was 15.
NO ONE has expressed any objection to Penelope's mom wanting to meet the girls.
Is that a rhetorical question? Because I raised two teenage boys who had teenage girls for friends. Then dealing with a teenage stepdaughter. Plus being a teenage girl myself once with many teenage girls for friends. You don't say how many you have, btw. And how is it even relevant?
And yes. Girl says she's going to the mall - meets up with someone with a car - takes off from the group - it gets back to another parent who informs girl's parent. Girl lied about going to the mall, then lies about lying about it. Don't be so naive to actually TRUST teenagers. And the mall isn't exactly a safe haven for 15yr old girls. I suspect predators lurking around EVERY corner when it concerns my children. I do think 15 is a young teen, but they would agree with you that it's not.
I think the new girl's mother is taking precautions that any mother should take. If the other girls are dressed like tramps (I'm sure they're not but she needs to see) then maybe it's not the crowd she wants her daughter to hang out with. Better to know sooner than later.
Well, what was you point with that nasty crack? Momma_bear said HER sons were nice young men. Not buying your "peer pressure" backpedal.
My kids are grown. Over the years they had a few friends I didn't care for. I think anyone who says differently is prevaricating.
What nasty crack? I didn't say anything nasty about anyone, I merely stated an observation which can be verified by turning on the news or reading the paper. You can nearly always find a story about some young man who got arrested or worse accompanied by quotes such as "He was such a good kid."
It is the nature of teenagers and young adults to make bad decisions, either through lack of knowledge, peer pressure, or an attempt to push the boundaries. All of my siblings did it, all of my friends did it, and I did it in spades. The fact that I survived the bad decisions I made in my early twenties is somewhere between amazing and miraculous. And the entire time that I was making those bad decisions my parents had no clue that they were as bad as they actually were.
I'm not saying that every single teenager or young adult is going to become a criminal, do hard drugs, or attempt death defying stunts. However, there is a tendency among those age groups to do those things and it can be exacerbated by their friends. Just because you think they are "old enough" to make their own decisions doesn't mean that you no longer have the parental responsibility to guide them toward the right ones. Parenting doesn't end at the magic age of 18, it's a job for life - which many in today's world seem to forget.
Out of curiosity, if your 21 year old son was hanging out with someone that you knew was a meth dealer, would you still say that you have no right to pick his friends, or would you explain to him why he shouldn't hang out with that person?
Lying liars lie, eh? How many teenage girls do you have? IMO, 15 isn't a "young" teen. What do you want them to do, if not go to the mall? Hanging out in a shopping area is a time-honored activity for kids. I actually did that 50 years ago, when I was 15.
NO ONE has expressed any objection to Penelope's mom wanting to meet the girls.
Moderator cut: orphaned quote and answer
The entire first post was based on the OP's amazement that the mother wanted to meet the teenagers before her daughter could hang out with them.
My first guess would be that the mom wants to make sure her daughter is meeting girls, and not a boy.
But, I don't see anything unusual about a parent wanting to meet the kids their child is hanging out with, especially when the kids haven't even met before. We've all read missing child cases (and C-D outrage) where a parent can't supply any information about the group their teen was meeting up with.
I imagine if the mother doesn't like what she sees, then her daughter will return home with her.
Exactly....I think with the things that are happening these days...The more you know about your kids friends the better.
OP....You should stay and meet the Mom and the girl....You are pretty vague about this group too. Just sayin
I did actually a bit and did offer to speak with the mother. But I think the refusal to speak with me and the insistence on meeting everyone first before allowing her daughter to hang out is making them feel like they are being judged. Will try again in speaking with them the morning.
Ok, in your first Op you didn't use the words refusal to meet you? If this new Mom is refusing to meet you....as the Mom dropping the kids off...That would concern me too. I'd personally be walking with the girls to meet the Mom and the new girl.
Or, maybe for all concerned the "new" girl can just hang out at her friends home sometime....and meet the girls that way.
Something happened to make this woman worry. Just explain to your daughter that this girl's mom isn't crazy just worried and she just wants to know that her kid is with good people. Do the mom a solid and help her be less stressed. Tell her how much you worry sometimes and how much it sucks feeling scared. If she's a good girl with an over protective mom then going along with the meet and greet will be good for the new girl. Finally getting to hang out with new friends. If the mom is worried because the girl is sneaking around with boys then maybe you pr daughter and her friends will be a good influence on the new girl. Make sense?
I would not be presuming any of this....I think the OP is concerned appropriately, with her own child.
That really sucks. So because this girl's mom is a little overprotective, you're letting your kid take it out on the girl, the one that has no control over it? Why not teach your kid to be more accepting of other people instead? Who is the adult here?
This seems a bit out of line. Why do these teens need to be accountable to indulge this woman's behavior.
They are actually saving this girl from the embarrassment this would cause her.....You did see the previous post where the "new" girl was asking her Mom not to do this, and she insisted?
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