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She's 13! Why does she get a vote? Families move all the time. She'll get over it. Do you really want to live across the country from your own daughter? I couldn't imagine leaving my daughter or son and moving. You need to realize that the parents make decisions for 13 year olds, not the kid.
Folks. In the OP, the question wasn't "should the daughter make the decision." The situation was that her FATHER was considering staying in CA in order to allow the daughter to live with him, rather than moving with the mom and stepfather. Since the daughter is 13, most courts would allow her to decide which parent to live with as long as both parents were able and willing to provide a safe home for her, which apparently her father can do (according to the OP he's always been a great dad).
So yes - in such a scenario, the child DOES usually "get a vote" even if the move by one parent is perfectly reasonable and best for the family as a whole.
I think the dad may eventually resent staying in CA for the DD when everyone else moves away. She's 13 now, and Dad's girl. In another few years he may just be another "dumb dad" and she will be off with either girlfriends or a boyfriend.
It sounds like Dad is moving to Florida and Mom and Step-Dad are moving to TN. The move will be hard for your daughter at first but she will adjust. If she is active in sports, making friends will be easy. Having extended family and cousins close by will be helpful as well. Don't worry, OP, she'll be OK.
Oh, for goodness sake, Txt. Just because you're unhappy it doesn't mean moving to TN is a bad decision for someone else. Your experience in TN might have been "really awful" but that doesn't mean the state is.
No, but she is right with that. The culture shock is going to be something to behold for someone from CA moving to TN.
She's 13! Why does she get a vote? Families move all the time. She'll get over it. Do you really want to live across the country from your own daughter? I couldn't imagine leaving my daughter or son and moving. You need to realize that the parents make decisions for 13 year olds, not the kid.
It's always good to include older children in decisions like these because they will feel the impact a lot more. That doesn't mean they should get equal say, just a level of input.
Her dad wants her with us in Tennessee, she also prefers the colder weather over the humidity (we visited his dad's side a couple of times over the years). Talking to him this morning, he has some things he needs to get taken care of regarding his family in Florida. Apparently his younger brother will be getting out of prison after 10 years this May and he wants to rebond with him as well. It turns out he may move faster than I thought (I thought we would be moving first).
My daughter may not share the same blood as my husband's relatives but they have always considered her family from day one. She has an amazing bond with his aunts and they adore her. I think we have been very very lucky when it comes to extended family.
The reality is, as Kathryn pointed out, it's going to be more her choice at this point than anything. So you do have to prepare yourself for the fact that she might decide she wants to live with her Dad over you. At any rate this is going to be a transition period for all parties involved.
I think the dad may eventually resent staying in CA for the DD when everyone else moves away. She's 13 now, and Dad's girl. In another few years he may just be another "dumb dad" and she will be off with either girlfriends or a boyfriend.
My dad was in the Air Force.. When it came time to move it didn't matter what us kids thought...
Seriously, I know how she feels but to let a 13 year old call the shots for a family, when the parents no matter how many there are want or need to move somewhere is ridiculous...
My dad was in the Air Force.. When it came time to move it didn't matter what us kids thought...
Seriously, I know how she feels but to let a 13 year old call the shots for a family, when the parents no matter how many there are want or need to move somewhere is ridiculous...
It didn't really matter what he thought either xD.
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