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What is wrong with kids ordering off the kids menu?
If the child wants something that isn't on it...I don't think they should be forced. If everyone is having steak at the table ...the kid likes steak and wants steak and the parents say it's too expensive for you... have the kids hamburger while they chow down on filet mignon? r...that is just wrong.
I refuse to treat my child like a second class citizen simply because of age. It's worked out very well for us.....she's a successful college sophomore with a part time job and her father and I are still happily married even since she doesn't live with us...though we do miss her a lot. All the child hating pundits (notice how most are right wing overly religious men?) are will not change that.
I totally get this. I can understand your feelings on this. But I wonder why children don't have to be taught to be bad? They have to be taught to be good.
Anyway, 10 yr old girls (hopefully) aren't obsessed with their looks. I can understand that she's figured out the easiest way to deal with her hair issues on her own. She shouldn't have to. But she needs to understand that she has to submit to authority unless it's illegal and/or immoral. If she has a dispute there should be a way to express that without being rebellious and/or defiant.
What is wrong with kids ordering off the kids menu?
Nothing wrong at all. This whole topic is probably worth a thread of its own! Heck in some restaurants, I would love to eat off the kid's menu. Smaller portions and the food is just as yummy. Some other kid menus....yuck.
Common sense should prevail. I have no problem ordering my kid a steak if we are all eating it and I know they will eat it as well. I'm certainly not going to feast like royalty when they are eating P&J sandwiches. Am I going to let them order a $30 dollar steak (and usually the biggest most expensive cut) when we are all eating $14 dollar ones? Um, no. Nor is my son going to order a $$$$ lobster and will eat two bites just because it looks yummy on the menu.
Again though, this would be a great new thread since we are getting waaay off topic.
Nothing wrong at all. This whole topic is probably worth a thread of its own! Heck in some restaurants, I would love to eat off the kid's menu. Smaller portions and the food is just as yummy. Some other kid menus....yuck.
Common sense should prevail. I have no problem ordering my kid a steak if we are all eating it and I know they will eat it as well. I'm certainly not going to feast like royalty when they are eating P&J sandwiches. Am I going to let them order a $30 dollar steak (and usually the biggest most expensive cut) when we are all eating $14 dollar ones? Um, no. Nor is my son going to order a $$$$ lobster and will eat two bites just because it looks yummy on the menu.
Again though, this would be a great new thread since we are getting waaay off topic.
Exactly. ...if we are all have hamburgers than hamburgers it is.....but to deny something that everyone is having...nope not gonna happen just to show the kid that I can.
I totally get this. I can understand your feelings on this. But I wonder why children don't have to be taught to be bad? They have to be taught to be good.
Anyway, 10 yr old girls (hopefully) aren't obsessed with their looks. I can understand that she's figured out the easiest way to deal with her hair issues on her own. She shouldn't have to. But she needs to understand that she has to submit to authority unless it's illegal and/or immoral. If she has a dispute there should be a way to express that without being rebellious and/or defiant.
It depends on what you mean by bad? Kids are generally not bad, but they have to learn what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not acceptable. Good and bad are subjective.
For example, a toddler who jumps on the couch is not being *bad.* He just needs to jump and does not understand why adults don't want him to jump on the couch. After all, jumping on the couch is fun. So, you redirect him to a place where he can jump - a small trampoline, old cushions you put on the floor, etc. You aren't teaching him to be *good,* you are protecting your furniture, but also allowing him freedom to jump.
Example for an older child: Child complains about doing her homework. Of course, she has to do it, but she is not being *bad* by complaining. After all, it's not something pleasant, so she has a right to complain. OTOH, she has to do it, so you can acknowledge that she doesn't want to but still insist that she has to do it. You can say "I can understand that you think the homework is too (time-consuming,hard, whatever she seems to think) and that you would rather (play, read, etc.)." Then at least you have understood her feelings and usually this is enough to get on with the homework especially if you tell her she can (play, read, etc.) after it is done.
I think with the hair issue, as others have suggested, she has a valid reason for not wanting to wash her hair, so you sit down with her and try to work out a way for her to clean it without the whole shampoo thing. It may be as simple as getting a different product or going "no poo." Hair does NOT need to be washed every day and it depends a lot on her hair type. It would pay for the mom to talk to other dance parents whose children have the same hair type. I also don't think saying no and I don't care are disrespectful in and of themselves. I think punishing a child of this age for an issue like this just adds to the problems. My granddaughter washes her hair, but hates brushing it and it is long and thick, so we got her a special brush that gets through her tangles without hurting her.
I totally get this. I can understand your feelings on this. But I wonder why children don't have to be taught to be bad? They have to be taught to be good.
Where on earth would you get the notion that kids don't have to be taught to be bad? Of course they have to be taught to be bad. Children don't pop out of the womb doing drugs, joining gangs, and molesting people. That crap is taught. Children come out of the womb pooping, eating, and sleeping. None of that is bad. I'm pretty sure.
None of the stuff my children do that they get in trouble for is inherently "bad". Running across a street is not inherently "bad". It's only "bad" because a kid can get hurt, but that's not a sin.
Perhaps you think kids are naturally disrespectful to parents, which is a sin? But I urge you to look closer. When they are disrespectful to their parents, they are actually engaging in a learned activity. They learn it from their parents. You child says no to you because they learned it from you. Your child yells at you because they learned it from you. Your child makes excuses because they learned it from you. They aren't being "bad", they just aren't conforming to the learned behaviors that are necessary to thrive in our current form of society. Parents teach their kids how to conform and be civilized, not how to be "good". That's a silly notion if ever I heard one.
Last night my daughter came up to me and asked that I watch her 'wash her hair'. She did to my satisfaction. She then got her kindle and dumb-phone back. No argument.
I had decided that arguing over greasy hair was not the hill I wanted to die on. I love that phase! So I planned to keep her 'toys' until Sunday for her attitude. Her voluntarily complying got them back.
For the record - my child does not have video games or TV in her room. She has a bed and clothes. While I love the advice given on these forums, I am always amazed at the turns a question can take!
Last night my daughter came up to me and asked that I watch her 'wash her hair'. She did to my satisfaction. She then got her kindle and dumb-phone back. No argument.
I had decided that arguing over greasy hair was not the hill I wanted to die on. I love that phase! So I planned to keep her 'toys' until Sunday for her attitude. Her voluntarily complying got them back.
For the record - my child does not have video games or TV in her room. She has a bed and clothes. While I love the advice given on these forums, I am always amazed at the turns a question can take!
Last night my daughter came up to me and asked that I watch her 'wash her hair'. She did to my satisfaction. She then got her kindle and dumb-phone back. No argument.
I had decided that arguing over greasy hair was not the hill I wanted to die on. I love that phase! So I planned to keep her 'toys' until Sunday for her attitude. Her voluntarily complying got them back.
For the record - my child does not have video games or TV in her room. She has a bed and clothes. While I love the advice given on these forums, I am always amazed at the turns a question can take!
+1 for your daughter. Good job Mom, I think this shows that most kids want to please their parents, and we need to give them the opportunity to do so.
If the child wants something that isn't on it...I don't think they should be forced. If everyone is having steak at the table ...the kid likes steak and wants steak and the parents say it's too expensive for you... have the kids hamburger while they chow down on filet mignon? r...that is just wrong.
I am not going to order an adult sized meal for a child. I'd cut part of mine so they could have some though/
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG
I refuse to treat my child like a second class citizen simply because of age. It's worked out very well for us.....she's a successful college sophomore with a part time job and her father and I are still happily married even since she doesn't live with us...though we do miss her a lot. All the child hating pundits (notice how most are right wing overly religious men?) are will not change that.
Gee I wasn't aware that having children order off of a children's menu was treating them like second class citizens. LOL
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