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I am getting closer to having a student in elementary school. I'm nervous because we've had the safety net of child care that has made life easy, but soon it will be time for our special snowflake to enter public school and all that it entails.
One challenge that my wife and I have is that we are a dual income family. While family budgets are relatively easy for us and we have funds to do fun things, time is a premium. I grew up with a stay at home mom who drove me to activities and events, and most of my experiences are different than our special snowflake will have.
So, for those of you who are dual income, and have or had a kid in elementary school, can you paint a picture of what life is like for your child? What kind of things do they do before and after school? What kidns of camps, programs, etc are you able to do? Are there things that your kid can't do because you work?
I have observed a few areas that make life difficult:
1) Summer camps - there are a lot of summer camps for school age kids, but most do not offer before/after camp care (extended hours) so they are not available to us as a dual income family.
2) After school extra curricular (4-H programs, girl scouts, etc) - not sure how we will participate since we need some kind of organized after school care that is consistent and reliable
3) Other things that happen during regular business hours
Lastly, I do not want this thread to become a debate about 1 versus 2 income families. I will report any post that starts to debate the issue to the moderator and request it be deleted.
Hi......I am the mother of two school aged girls and my husband and I have always worked.
You are correct that it is nice when they are in day care because all of your hours are covered and you don't usually have to worry about holidays being off (like Veterans Day, Labor Day, etc). I was also worried about what would happen when they started school.
We have tried all of the above options and finally settled on a before and after school nanny. It just works out for the best. I will say that we didn't go that route until after both girls were in school because cost wise it didn't make sense while we were still paying for full time child care for one and the a nanny for the other. So, prior to the nanny we did:
1. After school program through the Y which was at her school. Pros were that she stayed on premises, the cost was ok, and that they did homework. Cons were that she didn't get to do anything else after school and it is a long day to be in one place. Also, the noise level wasn't always conducive to homework.
2. Next we tried home day care after school. We ran into a lot of the same issues as the after school program but at least she felt like she was leaving school and going "home". In some cases. she was able to participate in other activities when there was someone to carpool her to and from the day care.
3. Summertimes were some full day camps that had the extended hours for working parents. Those were exhausting for her. Too long, too hot, not being able to do what you want during the summer, etc.
Finally, we settled on a nanny. This has worked very well for us. She acts like me when I am not there. So she drives the girls where they need to be, they get to play with friends after school, homework is done at home with some help if needed.
There is going to be so much trial and error for you when the time comes because a lot of it is going to be dependant on your child, your current support system (friends, family available for carpooling or sick time), your budget, and the timing. I feel your pain because it was hard for us until we found the right solution.
As far as other things that happen during business hours, well....some you can do and some you can't. You kind of have to make peace with that. I wish that I could have been more involved with some things at the school but I know that my kids don't resent it and I am always there for the important stuff.
I don't know if this helps you or not but if you have any other questions you can DM me for more details. Good luck!
I am getting closer to having a student in elementary school. I'm nervous because we've had the safety net of child care that has made life easy, but soon it will be time for our special snowflake to enter public school and all that it entails.
One challenge that my wife and I have is that we are a dual income family. While family budgets are relatively easy for us and we have funds to do fun things, time is a premium. I grew up with a stay at home mom who drove me to activities and events, and most of my experiences are different than our special snowflake will have.
So, for those of you who are dual income, and have or had a kid in elementary school, can you paint a picture of what life is like for your child? What kind of things do they do before and after school? What kidns of camps, programs, etc are you able to do? Are there things that your kid can't do because you work?
I have observed a few areas that make life difficult:
1) Summer camps - there are a lot of summer camps for school age kids, but most do not offer before/after camp care (extended hours) so they are not available to us as a dual income family.
2) After school extra curricular (4-H programs, girl scouts, etc) - not sure how we will participate since we need some kind of organized after school care that is consistent and reliable
3) Other things that happen during regular business hours
Lastly, I do not want this thread to become a debate about 1 versus 2 income families. I will report any post that starts to debate the issue to the moderator and request it be deleted.
1) True. Most are half day or 9-3, or some other hours that don't work for parents who work 8-5. My kids go to a camp at their school that runs 6:30am-6pm. They go on field trips almost every day, so when scheduling things like doctor's appointments, the fact that they will not physically be at the school from about 9:30-3:00 must be considered. It also makes it impossible to pair a half day sports or science camp with this camp because they will be gone on a field trip with mid-day drop off or pick up not possible.
2) Some of these activities take working parents into account and are later in the evening. The Scout meeting for our school was at 7pm. Sports practices start as early as 4:30 and tend to start later, the older the kids. I suppose you could request a team with a late start time, or hire a college student to pick up your kid and take them to these things, or carpool with other parents.
3) Sometimes you just have to take time off work and take them out of school. I always try to schedule appointments before or after school, or during lunch. Sometimes it take a lot of driving back and forth. I take time off to go to presentations and things that happen during the school day. Not all of them, but some.
We have before and after care at the school, so the kids can be dropped off and picked up right at the school and parents don't have to worry about transportation to and from a day care center.
It is difficult, no doubt about that. There is good and bad. The kids have built in playmates at their before and after care/summer camp. They are kept entertained with a variety of activities, more than I could provide. The down side is that not all kids are desirable playmates, personalities don't always mesh, and all grade levels are together in one room, K-6th grade. They aren't home after school and in the summer to have "real" play dates with their real friends. It is difficult or impossible to get them to some activities.
I have 2 children in school. When they were younger both attended after-school care at their school through the Y. They still participate in after-school activities but I try to schedule them later. This week we will go to baseball practice at 6:30, Guitar at 6:30, baseball game at 6:15 and girl scout meeting at 6:30. I am fortunate that most days I can leave work at 4:15, pick up the kids at after-school (or my husband does), get dinner then go out for our activities.
I think a nanny is ideal, if you can find a good one, but that was out of our budget.
It is a really busy time of life but no complaints here.
I'm a single parent so face the same issues. My son attends the afterschool program at his school, which is run by the school district. At one point, he was playing soccer, and my parents, who live locally, helped with picking him up at school and taking him to practice. I would go straight from work so I didn't have to leave early but then they could leave and didn't have to sit through practice. Obviously, not everyone has local family to help out. On the days he didn't have soccer, he stayed at the afterschool program until I was out of work and got there to pick him up.
He's dropped soccer for various reasons, and since then, I've limited his afterschool activities to those that take place at the school. Fortunately, the afterschool program is used to coordinating these - so he checks in there, then goes to his activity and when that's over, he goes back to the afterschool program.
For summer camp, maybe it's dependent on location but I've always had a pretty wide selection of camps that run for a full work day or provide sufficient before/after care to make it workable. It can start to get pricey and the before/after care can sometimes end up costing almost as much as the camp itself, but it makes it possible. However, for cost reasons, I've mostly stuck with the school district run camp or the ones through the Y and only added on a limited amount of specialty camps. But that's really finances, and not options.
As for other things during the work day, I either take a day off (such as volunteering to chaperone a field trip) or leave early, etc. Fortunately, I work in a flexible environment and as long as I don't abuse the privilege and I make sure my work gets done, I can leave early, take an extra long lunch, etc. when needed. My son's school is pretty good about trying to accommodate working parents so things like parent/teacher conferences are scheduled between 3 pm and 7 pm - the parents who are at home can go right after school and not have to go back out again in the evening, and the working parents can sign up for the later slots. It seems to work well and if your child's school doesn't offer this type of scheduling, I would request they look into adding it.
We are a dual income family and both of my kids are now in ES. I telecommute so have some flexibility. I put them on the bus in the morning at 7:45 and then I start work. They get off the bus at 3:30 and they come in have a snack and do homework or if no homework then they go out and ride their scooters or play with the neighborhood friends. I tried having a teen come after school but she ended up flaking out. She wanted to join activities (which we had discussed beforehand).
My kids are in activities - soccer, girl scouts (I'm a co-leader) and my son plays baseball. They have later practices (6pm) and I was really lucky to get them on the same day. GS is on Tuesday nights at 6:30.
During the summer, they attend a summer camp through the Y. It's from 7-6 (but we use it from 9-4/5).
My neighbors have a nanny come in the afternoon and it works out for them.
Things were hectic. All we were doing was shuffling the kids around. when someone got sick it was more shuffling. Holidays schools were off but we had to work made it even more burdensome. I ended up quitting my job because it just wasnt worth the stress and took a part time job. So technically we are still two income or one and a half depending on how you look at it.
It's different everywhere. When we lived in NJ the Y had camps, aftercare and holiday care for the kids. They made it fun and helped transport kids to local activities. There were many families that sent their kids, it really created a great family.
You all have my utmost respect! I was working part time (about 15-20 hours a week, mostly from home) and planned on going full time when my youngest started kinder. Boy was I fooled. Things got 10x more busy and difficult. I ended up stopping working totally half way through the year. It's challenging.
But there are lots of parents who pull it off. After care at school is awesome (even not working my kids do it to have more outdoor play time). There are lots of full time summer camps here. Most extra curricular things are on weekends.
The one thing that I strongly recommend is to prepare in advance for what you are going to do when one of your children is sick and neither of you are able to take off of work. Don't just assume that it won't happen because it will.
Coworkers laughed at me when I would tell them that I had a back up plan for the back up plan, for the back up plan if neither my husband or I could take off of work. But, two or three times during elementary school we actually had to go to the fifth level.
One of the reasons I felt so strongly about preparing for emergencies would be because of how often parents would sent their sick children to school because "they had to work" and did not have emergency care in place. As a teacher, it would be heartbreaking to have a child come to school with a high fever, vomiting, or diarrhea. Not only was the child miserable but they usually exposed the kids on their bus or in their classroom before they were able to be moved to a more isolated area or the office convinced a parent or emergency contact to get them.
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