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ScarletG, what part of we talk, hang out, laugh, joke, text, talk did you miss in the conversation? We are not confrontational at all it's water under the bridge!!
I am still disappointed with HER choices!! I can love her and not approve or be okay with what she is doing!! I'm confused with your logic. If she was always happy said "Dad, I love my house, I love being a homeowner, love my job, life couldn't be better!" it would be different, but there is a recurring theme. "Dad, I'm so broke we are broke!", "XXXX is going to ask his dad for a loan", " Dad, I hate my job I want to quit so bad, but I can't I have to work!" This is a record that is on repeat.........I just support and say "I love ya girl! I'm sorry......" and try to make her laugh or talk about something happy.
If it was water under the bridge you wouldn't be trash talking her and her SO.
So help her look at her options for better employment....get her to think about educational options and long term goals......you don't do that by being two faced about her...and you are a fool if you think she doesn't know how you really think about her from these posts.
Constructive help is one thing....complaining that you hate the man she's bought a house with is petty. It's not about you if you really care.
I actually think she was replying to my post, assuming that I had a low performing child.
Wow, a low performing child. That says volumes
But your reply is akin to what I would say so it saved me the time. Thank you
Yeah...she was replying to you...but since we hold close to the same opinion and I saw it...I might as well jump in.
But for someone to say that a parent that respects their child and meets them at where they want to be rather than force them to march to the parents whims mean that our children are low performing ....lol.....I'll put my "low performing" and independent daughter up against anyone...any time. It's not that my child is perfect or there are not other students that blow her out of the water....it's that I have her back and she knows it...and she is moving forward. That is more important than raising a robot that marches in lockstep to my wishes.
Water under the bridge in the sense we don't talk or argue about any of those things anymore we just hang out still not happy with their life choices!!
Yes, she knows full and well I don't like her BF this is no secret we are super candid and gut wrenchingly honest!! Shouldn't I just support her and not give her advise about those things because they are my wants and not hers? I thought I was supposed to wait until she felt comfortable to seek out college, other opportunities, and possible employment options in her time not mine? I'm confused now because it's about her wants not mine I thought?
You are a riot...........!! Yes, I strongly dislike the guy spoiled, whiny, undriven, escuse laden punk
I'm done with this thread some of you (cough Scarlet cough Apt lady) are certified crazy!!
OP ~ As long as she's happy, healthy, and safe, you should let it go. She may, some day, change her mind about college. But, frankly, college doesn't guarantee success. My father quit school in 8th grade, and he's a self-made millionaire. My brother is $250,000 in depth with student loans, and he and his wife (who has college loans totalling $150,000) are living in her mother's basement. I have two degrees I didn't need at all for what I do. (I'm a publisher/retailer.) I earn over $200,000 per year. If I worked in my field of study, I would be earning $45,000 per year.
But tell her to lay off the smokes. Insist. THAT is something to complain about.
Water under the bridge in the sense we don't talk or argue about any of those things anymore we just hang out still not happy with their life choices!!
Yes, she knows full and well I don't like her BF this is no secret we are super candid and gut wrenchingly honest!! Shouldn't I just support her and not give her advise about those things because they are my wants and not hers? I thought I was supposed to wait until she felt comfortable to seek out college, other opportunities, and possible employment options in her time not mine? I'm confused now because it's about her wants not mine I thought?
You are a riot...........!! Yes, I strongly dislike the guy spoiled, whiny, undriven, escuse laden punk
I'm done with this thread some of you (cough Scarlet cough Apt lady) are certified crazy!!
I don't really worry that you are calling me names as you run away from calling your daughter a disappointment and not having everyone agree with you.
But tell her to lay off the smokes. Insist. THAT is something to complain about. [/b]
The smoking would be the one thing I would be worried about the most and offering the most help with. But i would not just be complaining about it to others while trashing her to others.
There are support groups, prescriptions, alternative therapies....I'd be funding them all for her and the SO.
Heck my boss just gave up a 30 year smoking habit and I bought her a present for encouragement.
Anyone have this issue? I think every parent dreams of giving and fostering a environment where their children are allowed to grow and excel far beyond their own successes.
That's a bummer, dude. Our kids aren't there yet, but we hear plenty such stories. Coworkers complaining about their shiftless kids, one of my peers who quit his great job to go into hardcore gaming and just--as far as I can tell--be a bum, and so forth.
Yes, there are some certifiable people in this forum, and I'm guessing they probably don't have kids, just a child-sized chip on their shoulder from something their parents did.
And, no, being happy without success or drive isn't enough. I'm happy where I'm at in my life, but I know I can't just sit still or the world will pass me by. Contentment is a trap. People who have the drive to constantly improve themselves can stay ahead of the game. The others just tread water and someday wake up to find themselves obsolete. It's harsh, but that's reality. I don't know the formula to keep your other kids sharp and hungry, or I'd write a book and become too rich to bother with this forum.
The smoking would be the one thing I would be worried about the most and offering the most help with. But i would not just be complaining about it to others while trashing her to others.
There are support groups, prescriptions, alternative therapies....I'd be funding them all for her and the SO.
Heck my boss just gave up a 30 year smoking habit and I bought her a present for encouragement.
I'd be wayyy more worried about the smoking than their financial situations, they could die early fro cancer or something. In reality they are far better off than 75% of young people AND without college degrees so they are doing extremely well.
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it's water under the bridge!! 
