What would you have done? (teaching, divorced, autism, boys)

[spsamp]

I am a divorced father of 3 kids. A 17 year old boy with Autism, and two typical daughters, ages 15 and 11.

Today, we went to the amusement park, just the four of us.

My 11 year old daughter found $100 left behind on a ride at the amusement park. Returning the money to the lost and found would most likely result in a park employee pocketing the money, so I decided it was best to keep it. Of course, it would've been returned to the owner if there was a feasible was to locate them. In a large park, that's nearly impossible.

Anyway, my 2 daughters wanted to split the money amongst the two of them and go shopping with it. I suggested we use $40 for dinner for all of us on the way home, then split the remaining $60 between all 3 kids.

Neither of my daughter's were happy with this arrangement, arguing they found the money, therefore they should decide what to do with it. I then said, if they choose to be entirely selfish and entitled, the best thing to do is pay it forward to someone else.

Just that morning, a family of 4 young boys just buried their father who died from cancer. This man was my sons Boy Scout troop leader. He was a wonderful human being who treated my son as his own. His family asked for donations on behalf of their sons. Perfect charity I thought.

Needless to say, my daughter's are not happy, especially when I pointed out that this was found money, and none of us were entitled to it. While I understand their excitement, then disappointment, I was more hurt by their display of complete selfishness.

Outside of this incident, they are all loving, wonderful children.

So what would you have done?

[Dude111]

Hmmmmmm that IS hard isnt it??

Your sadly right I think. Returning CASH to lost and found would probably end up with the $$$ being taken in todays mean world..........

You should go to the lost and found office and ASK IF ANYONE WAS LOOKING FOR ANYTHING THE LAST FEW DAYS ... If they say one was $$$$$ LOST,you might have a chance of finding the individual


I know this is a hard choice and I know IF IT WAS ME,I would hope someone would return the $$$$$ but the way the world is now,I would understand why they didnt!!


God bless you and its good having you here @ City-data my friend

[Kibbiekat]

I would have turned the money in. It is unfortunate you didn't use this moment to teach your kids what's right.

[HighFlyingBird]

I would have also turned the money in. Not everyone would have pocketed it. I wouldn't have. But you did. Lost an important teaching moment. It's not what the other person does, it's what you do that teaches your child.

[HighFlyingBird]

Remember this gem "just because your friends jump off a bridge, would you."

[saibot]

This happened to us at a mall. My son found a $100 bill on the ground. It was outside the shops and there was no one else around.

I let him keep the money.

Now, after having had time to think about it, I think it would have been better to tell the mall security that we had found "some money" (no specific amount mentioned) and if anyone asked if money had been found, to have them text us.

No way would I hand in unidentifiable cash to mall security. If it were a wallet, keys, a phone, anything identifiable, then of course we would immediately turn it in. But cash? No. That seems like a really dumb thing to do. It doesn't belong to the mall employees either--why should they get it?

In my opinion, the $100 now belongs to your 11-year-old. I wouldn't force her to give it away OR to share it with her siblings. You could suggest either of these things, but not demand. And calling her "entirely selfish and entitled" is being pretty harsh on a kid who was probably beyond delighted to find $100.

The right thing to do would be to have the kids see you, personally, donating money to the family of the man who died. Not telling them they have to donate their own money and saying they are selfish for not doing so. This is a case where you need to lead by example--"What I do, not what I say."

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by spsamp

Returning the money to the lost and found would most likely result in a park employee pocketing the money,

So what would you have done?

I'd have taken my kids and the money to Lost and Found. I was at an amusement park today and saw two "lost" hats. Both had been placed in a spot where the owner(s) could find them if they retraced their steps. Nice hats too. Someone took the time to place the hats where they could be found.

$100 is a good chunk of cash. Most people are not in a position to write off $100 and would ask at Lost and Found, or the ride entrance after they re-traced their steps, if someone had found it. You made an excuse for keeping it and your kids learned that Dad thinks the people at the Lost and Found are dishonest. Not the lessons I'd want my kids to learn.

[saibot]

If you turn in the money to Lost and Found, and no one claims it...who gets it?

Either I personally return the money to the owner, or I keep it myself. I'm not giving it to an amusement park employee for no reason.

I don't see how giving unidentifiable cash to a random employee in the hopes that someone comes and "claims" it is so specially honest.

[Miss Blue]

I would have turned it over to lost and found without making a judgement about the one I hand it to was dishonest enough to stick it in their pocket. Same as you planned to do.

I would not have passed up that opportunity to teach my child a lesson in honesty.

[Ms_Christina]

Cash, wallet, jewelry. It's doesn't matter. You turn it in. If you keep it you are a thief and should be ashamed of yourself. What happens to it at a lost and found or a mall security office is none of your business.