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Honestly...exactly what type of child is she trying to bring into her family...because while there are set backs and false starts......adoptions happen all the time.
What aren't you telling us?
Exactly.
There is some reason she is childless after trying for six years (referring to the adoption process).
Even with the slow Chinese adoptions (taking 3 to 5 years now), she should have a child, unless there is more to the situation.
Our friends has learned that their five years of IF treatments and six years of adoption attempts have failed to provide any children.
Other than more IF treatments and starting over with yet another adoption agency is there any more options for a childless couple to bring children into their lives? They looked at surrogacy, but the costs were astronomical.
Are there any options?
Private adoption or accept the fact they will not have children which is unfortunate but a very harsh and hard to accept reality sometimes.
I do find it odd that they were scammed "several times" even when going through an agency. How did the agency not meet and vet these pregnant women? There's only so long you can pretend to be pregnant.
Adoption can take a very long time if you are specific about the child you want. My friends JUST got a baby after what must have been at least 10 years. At first, I know they were pretty specific about a wanting a white, infant boy. I don't know if the sex changed after a while (although they did end up with a boy), but I know they definitely wanted an infant, and race may have been a factor too. I'm pretty sure they were ready to give up when one day out of nowhere - they got the call and within a few weeks - baby.
I would have issues with an agency that allowed me to get scammed more than once - well, actually even once.
Other than switch agencies and continue to have their name out there and/or adjust their expectations of the kind of child they want, I'm not sure what kind of ideas you are looking for. They could puts ads in the paper - especially perhaps college towns - but that seriously increases their chances of being scammed. There aren't any baby stores out there. Buying a baby is illegal and I would caution against shady lawyers.
Foster to adopt; I'm sure someone has already mentioned it though. That said, I am adoptive parent and I know of *nobody* either IRL or online who wasn't able to adopt eventually. There are so many different avenues to adoption; one needs to only do a little research to chose another agency, another foreign country, refuse to pay birthmother expenses, ect. Where there is a will, there is a way. That said, they have to be willing to love a child, any child, with their whole heart. My guess is they aren't at that place yet which is why they continue to wait.
I really wonder why it is your job to figure out adoption for them?
I have a random suspicion that there is a fishing scam for someone who wants a free surrogate? Best guess. I did ivf and adoption and I never had a friend researching for me, esp via message board.
Some way to bring children into her family. Foster, International and Domestic adoption seem to be closed to her. I also don't think trying another adoption agencies is a good approach given that all the agencies I spoke with have high failure rates.
I meant, what did you mean by this:
I think as a group, especially couples that never had any trouble having children, should help those that cannot have children.
What are we supposed to do? Helping a friend is a nice gesture, but what, as a group, are we supposed to do?
[quote=HighFlyingBird;39655554]I really wonder why it is your job to figure out adoption for them?
I have a random suspicion that there is a fishing scam for someone who wants a free surrogate? Best guess. I did ivf and adoption and I never had a friend researching for me]
I really wonder why it is your job to figure out adoption for them?
I have a random suspicion that there is a fishing scam for someone who wants a free surrogate? Best guess. I did ivf and adoption and I never had a friend researching for me, esp via message board.
Well...they ain't pfishing well here if that is the case.
I can see a close friend looking for suggestions to pass on but....something is really missing here.
I am probably going to get blasted for this, but here I go....
There is definitely something missing here. I personally don't know many people who have adopted, but the few I do know were able to adopt within a few years of applying, even multiple times and that there are millions of homeless children on our planet. I understand picturing a certain child and family in your mind. Even parents who conceive naturally do this. They envision that son they always wanted with daddy's eyes who loves sports or that daughter who looks just like mommy and loves ballet. Thing is that have no control over who they get. Their son loves art or their daughter excels at sports, maybe they are gay or want to travel and be independent or they can't get them out of their house, but they love them anyway, no matter what. Millions of orphaned children are needing homes. They all deserve and want love, they all deserve and want a home. If someone who is seeking adoption is so picky they are turning children away due to gender, age or race, then maybe they shouldn't become parents, because even though they get that blonde little girl, or Latin son, or any child that resembles "them," that child is still its own person and will probably grow up to be nothing of what they envisioned when they pictured their family and if you can't love the WHOLE child for the perfect, little innocent person that they are, then you don't need to have kids, period.
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