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I know about a half dozen single mothers. None of them do this. It's the argument the ex always uses to not pay child support, though. That the mom "would" if they got the child support, so they aren't paying.
By leaps and bounds, all the custodial parents I know are covering the cost of their kids all by themselves.
I am glad those mothers don't, but unfortunately, that is exactly what my husband's ex-wife does.
So basically what I'm getting from this thread is that men are willing to help shoulder the financial burden of their kids, but only if the ex-wife is living in complete poverty, driving a 10-year-old beater, never dates, doesn't eat, never buys anything for herself, and only showers weekly to help keep the monthly water bill low.
Is that about what it takes before you feel good about tossing your kid a little lunch money?
Contrary to what you'd like to think, you BOTH had a kid, which in my book means BOTH of your lifestyles are up for scrutiny. That means you don't get to treat your new girlfriend to a big fancy dinner and then turn around and cry foul wondering what your ex is spending on her new boyfriend.
(And for the record, no, I'm not a single mom. I was smart enough to have my kid with a man who wasn't a deadbeat loser.)
You had me until the last line. Why do you need to insult those of us who are out here struggling? Do you REALLY think that every single parent on here posting - and all the ones you meet in your daily life - are just complete morons who slept with the first guy to smile our way?
For the record, I was married and I did everything humanly possible to keep my marriage together. Buy, ya know, that only works when both people are willing to work for the life they chose together.
I am glad those mothers don't, but unfortunately, that is exactly what my husband's ex-wife does.
And how much does your husband spend on you? Seriously, it takes two to have a kid. Do you seriously think that just because the child's FATHER is contributing to the cost of raising HIS CHILD, that gives you the right to tell the mother how to live her life?
Children cost money. Your husband is morally and legally obligated to help pay for the child he brought into this world. End of subject. If you have a problem with how she's raising his child, then go to court and take custody. But be prepared to come up with an argument for the judge that involves more than, "I think her car is too nice," or "She gets more pedicures than me."
You had me until the last line. Why do you need to insult those of us who are out here struggling? Do you REALLY think that every single parent on here posting - and all the ones you meet in your daily life - are just complete morons who slept with the first guy to smile our way?
For the record, I was married and I did everything humanly possible to keep my marriage together. Buy, ya know, that only works when both people are willing to work for the life they chose together.
I think too many people are in a big hurry to crank out kids. Yes.
And how much does your husband spend on you? Seriously, it takes two to have a kid. Do you seriously think that just because the child's FATHER is contributing to the cost of raising HIS CHILD, that gives you the right to tell the mother how to live her life?
Well when DH was paying ex and her attornies certainly thought they had the right to tell DH how to live his life. Mine as well.
In the cases I'm familiar with, it's almost always more about having to give the money to the custodial parent to spend at their discretion, which given that they often hate the custodial parent really burns. Also, they often think that the custodial parent is spending the money on themselves instead of the kids, or that they are trying to milk it by asking for more than they need.
And sometimes they are like my mother was.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully
Another factor may be that it is hard to feel emotionally invested in a child that you do not get to see very often especially if the breakup of the family was not something you wanted to begin with. You find yourself kicked out of your home yet you are still expected to support the family financially while losing most of your ability to have a day to day presence and influence in your childrens' lives.
There is no reason to not be able to see your kids unless there is a restraining order. Even then, you can always go to court and have visitations arranged.
Maybe even sadder then these deadbeats not taking responsibility, is that i know of some walking into their adult kids lives later in life thinking they "owed them" something.
A kid's "value to effort" ratio increases to a parent as s/he ages.
It's a shame that people can't be adults when it comes to their own kids! If they can't get it together to merely make payments, makes me wonder how they handle real problems in life.
Last edited by Utopian Slums; 06-04-2015 at 12:31 AM..
My son was born in the early 70's. His father, who I had been married to, did not want to pay the court-ordered child support because he was positive that I was partying it up with the money. He was ordered to pay $25 a week. At that time, daycare cost $35 a week.
He did the same thing to his next wife & their 2 children.
He's now a millionaire. He has no relationship with his children.
And how much does your husband spend on you? Seriously, it takes two to have a kid. Do you seriously think that just because the child's FATHER is contributing to the cost of raising HIS CHILD, that gives you the right to tell the mother how to live her life?
Children cost money. Your husband is morally and legally obligated to help pay for the child he brought into this world. End of subject. If you have a problem with how she's raising his child, then go to court and take custody. But be prepared to come up with an argument for the judge that involves more than, "I think her car is too nice," or "She gets more pedicures than me."
I pay for my own car and my own pedicures, thank you. She pays for hers out of the child support because she can't be bothered with getting a job.
They lived here for years and he was still paying. They didn't want to be near her. During that time she didn't even save anything for them.
My husband pays the child support and any extra curricular, car, prom dress, or any other fill-in-the-blank. She can't be bothered.
If you want to be nasty, LoriBee62, at least read the whole thread.
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