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In the cases I'm familiar with, it's almost always more about having to give the money to the custodial parent to spend at their discretion, which given that they often hate the custodial parent really burns. Also, they often think that the custodial parent is spending the money on themselves instead of the kids, or that they are trying to milk it by asking for more than they need.
This is what I'd imagine.
I can see it being easy to pay directly for child costs, but to hand over X amount of cash to this other person and just have to assume the kid is getting some of it...meh.
Of course, you can fix that by not divorcing. Live with the pig or feed the pig...either way, you got pig.
This is what I'd imagine.
I can see it being easy to pay directly for child costs, but to hand over X amount of cash to this other person and just have to assume the kid is getting some of it...meh.
Of course, you can fix that by not divorcing. Live with the pig or feed the pig...either way, you got pig.
I think it could be fixed by not going the CS route and handling things "in-house." I know this is asking a lot but agree on expenses for the non-custodial parent. Perhaps school clothes, field trips and half of the child's spending money or something along those lines.
I think it could be fixed by not going the CS route and handling things "in-house." I know this is asking a lot but agree on expenses for the non-custodial parent. Perhaps school clothes, field trips and half of the child's spending money or something along those lines.
Well, if things are that amicable, heck...I'd stick in the house to get to see my kid every day.
I've had workmates fund their "hex" AND end up paying for the new guy on the couches groceries in order to see the kids fed.
I was impressed by one workmate that said he could never replace the time NOT SPENT with his daughters, and in a few years it sorted itself out. But in the meantime most men I know wouldn't have had this guys long term "vision".
I suggest if there's animosity to start putting money into an education account for the kids under your control. Then if you get hauled into court you have an argument for your consistency, it just wasn't directed to the "hex's" BMW payment.
As fast as the economy changes now you can't always maintain the lifestyle you'd like to become accustomed to. After the early eighties recession/depression in Canada I saw lots of divorce following the forced change in lifestyle. Then the courts saw the deadbeat Dad Act as a great way to create a criminal class. One kid manned up an signed papers and I believe he isn't even the dad. He's still working without a drivers license or clean tax sheet and the kids now grown up. Great.
I agree. Appearances are not always what they seem and that goes both ways.
Easy thing to do? Keep records of child support payments and what you've spent that money on.
I wonder if child support couldn't be paid to the custodial parent in the form of a special debit card that keeps all transactions on a separate ledger that is subject to review in certain circumstances. Kind of like what the state does for SNAP cards and EBT cards. This wouldn't fix the whole broken system but it would address some specific problems at least.
It's stuff like this that has assured me that as my son approaches his 14th year and will likely soon get involved with the world that is "women" and "dating" that I need to teach him a few things
- wear a condom that you've supplied yourself
- do not marry a woman that you aren't 100% sure you want to spend everyday of your life with forever and even then have her sign a prenup that goes into specifics like child support, if at all possible in event of divorce do whatever you can to get primary custody
- keep large assets in my name (I don't need to steal them) so they cannot be taken or divided in event of a divorce
Actually women are less likely to pay child support than men are. Now most people will say that's because women are more likely to live in poverty, but what about the children? You have to pay for your childrens care, right? When its a Dad not paying he's a deadtbeat. When a women can't pay it's poverty.
Nope, I'd still call her a deadbeat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny Buckhead
I'm not in a position to pay child support since my wife doesn't have custody. However many of my friends are in situations with their exes and here is what I gather. Most fathers with any integrity have no issue buying clothing, food, school supplies, even toys for their kids...the issue is when that money you're giving isn't (or isn't just) paying for that and instead being used to spend so the mother can get their nails done, buy nice clothes, pay their car note (and don't say "they need a car to get the kid around" because most of the dads I know would gladly tote their kid from place to place in lieu of that) or even pay for their ex to go out to bars, hang out with other men etc.
The alternative should be that their is some sort of "shopping list" of the kids needs that would be purchase with child support, instead of just forking over cash. I have heard too many story's of my friend getting their son for a week and theyre wearing dirty shoes, old clothes, haven't had a hair cut in 12 weeks etc. and it's like "where did the 40% of my income that I give your mama go if not to getting you new shoes and a hair cut? Ohh she just got a new car and is in Miami with her new boyfriend, that's where it went"
I don't really know too many wealthy people so I don't know anyone paying anywhere near enough child support so that someone can live the high life off of it and pay for car loans, expensive clothes, etc. Those stories are few and far between from what I've seen, excluding the exorbitantly wealthy.
I think people forget part of that cash goes toward food, rent/mortgage payments, etc. Everyone always talks about "stuff." What about the fact that to rent a two bedroom apartment where I live (nothing fancy) is probably around $1800-$2000? For $2000, that would be $500 alone if you're splitting the kid's half of the apartment in half. Groceries for a person and a child (or maybe more than a kid) would be a few hundred a month. Keep adding everything up and it gets up there.
Everyone hears so many "stories" from people they know that it makes me think they know a lot of crappy people.
Well, if things are that amicable, heck...I'd stick in the house to get to see my kid every day.
Some people don't get along as married spouses but do better as divorced co-parents. I think more divorced couples could do better for their children if they put their kids' well being first ahead of their own egos (something I freely admit I'd struggle with in that situation).
I wonder if child support couldn't be paid to the custodial parent in the form of a special debit card that keeps all transactions on a separate ledger that is subject to review in certain circumstances. Kind of like what the state does for SNAP cards and EBT cards. This wouldn't fix the whole broken system but it would address some specific problems at least.
For years I've thought CS should be paid via a voucher system similar to WIC. They list on the checks exactly what is allowed for purchase and there are numerous participating stores so one can choose where they shop and what brand they purchase. I think its a good system because it holds people accountable but gives them flexibility.
Another one... Adult woman.. wants baby but wants to be alone.. shags some guy maybe once or twce and its over until the baby come and then He Is A Dad.. Total BS he is just there to help pay for her kid..
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