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During student teaching in the mid-Seventies, I never witnessed gift-giving! This was in a relatively big city.
I taught high school in the Eighties and would have been stunned to receive gifts! I don't think any teachers did. This was a consolidated school serving a small-town community and rural people.
As for my own schooling: None of the teachers (grades 1-12) received gifts from parents. Occasionally, a child would decide to leave something on a teacher's desk, ranging from the typical apple to perhaps an inexpensive brooch. Frankly, I doubt that only a few of the families could have afforded extra.
I think it shouldn't be necessary, but I know people who give their mailmen and others presents. We give John, our mailman, extras because we've known him for so long; he takes so much care with deliveries and pickups that it's easy to see when he's on vacation. Where would gift-giving stop if people did this for so many others?
As for our family, we stopped Christmas and birthday gifts back in the Seventies, except for the few children who were the ages when presents were expected. We sometimes give special gifts when we find things throughout the year, but I doubt they ever cost more than a few dollars. It's so much more relaxing when you aren't bothered with ANY gift-giving!
People seem to give in to what's expected, feeling it's an obligation. Then, I hear people complaining when they "have to" buy presents! Or, they're afraid that someone is going to give more than they do!
I always was happy to send my kids to the first day of school with bags of kleenex, hand sanitizer, colored pencils, note cards, pencils, etc. And Christmas checks and then Teacher Appreciation Luncheons and Snack Table for conference days and on and on it goes. Now they are in middle school and each kid has at least 4 different teachers counting music, band, private lessons, etc. I'm over it.
Last night the 6th graders gave a band concert. Today before school started there was an e mail asking for checks for the Band Director to show our appreciation. Of course the teacher doesn't start these drives--it is the PTA but I think it is getting ridiculous. We live in a top notch school district and while no teachers are getting rich we have ridiculous property taxes to attract terrific teachers and they are paid fairly- better than others in our state.
I support more pay for teachers and better working conditions and more respect but I feel asking parents to pony up almost every month for "appreciation", baby showers, wedding gifts, retirement parties,end of year parties, etc is a bit much.
What's it like in your community?
It is the same, and I agree with you. I wholeheartedly support and appreciate teachers. We are required to supply the school not only with crayons, pencils, notebooks, etc. but also with clorox wipes, kleenex, and copy paper. When we run out mid-year, we are asked for more.
Teacher appreciation week is planned out, and we are asked to donate a certain amount and/or send in various specific gifts. They ask for meals to be brought in for the evenings when there are parent-teacher conferences.
There was a baby shower this year. There was a teacher who had an unexpected illness and was hospitalized briefly, and someone set up a gofundme page! I have no problem giving to people who really need it, but this is for a gainfully employed, insured adult. I would gladly send a card, or even provide a meal while this person is recovering, but I think paying their medical bills is a bit much.
In a way, I'm a fan of donating to one large gift for teacher appreciation week, but on the other hand, it seems very contrived. I'd kind of rather give something to the teachers who really mean something. For example, my kid is in music, and the music teacher was assigned to a different class for appreciation gifts.
Anyway, I hear you. ETA I work and make less than teachers with the same years of experience, and no one gives me gifts for doing my job, or brings me dinner when I have to work late. Again, I am very supportive of public schools and teachers, but I think it has gone over the top.
I'm wondering where I missed out, sounds like you guys give a lot of swag.
I'm thinking back, and this goes over to a Teacher Appreciation Week thread in Education, and I really never got "gifts". Kids would give me a Christmas card most years, Honor Society had to pick a teacher to give gifts to during TAW but I always found out who got me and told them not to bother. A lot of them would still get me gag gifts like shocker pens or garlic gum, stuff like that. One kid got me a bottle of chocolate sauce one year, that was related to some incident he was involved in that I can't remember now.
I did get a gift card a few years ago, I think for $25. That was from a parent who was really grateful I stayed on her kid so he would graduate, it was a near thing and she got it in her head that I was responsible. I don't know. He graduated in any event.
Kids would sometimes give me candy, there were fundraisers for one thing or another where you bought someone a Tootsie Roll Pop and sent them a message. Got a lot of those over the years.
Got a lot of TAW notes from kids over the years.
One kid I never had in class got me a really nice crystal apple one time. Just came in my room and plopped a box down on my desk. I couldn't figure it out and asked her, "Why?". Her answer was that although I never had her in class that I was the only teacher who would speak to her and made her feel welcome coming from a very small, very religious, private school. Thinking back I guess I did talk to her a lot and helped her with some college applications.
Oh, fundraisers, I hate those goddamn things. You know why schools have to have them in many cases? Because school boards have slowly, over the years, removed items that used to be no brainers, like chalk, tissues, band aids in the Health Room for God's sake, paper, toilet paper (my school always ran out of toilet paper and copy paper May 1 every year), etc. and made them "non-essential". This year my system declared textbooks "non-essential" so we only had a class set for each class. The kids were supposed to use a super secret password and access the textbook on line (of course, most classrooms didn't have computers). The problem was the system didn't pay to use the password so there was no access. Even if there had been there are still plenty of kids who don't have internet access.
It is the same, and I agree with you. I wholeheartedly support and appreciate teachers. We are required to supply the school not only with crayons, pencils, notebooks, etc. but also with clorox wipes, kleenex, and copy paper. When we run out mid-year, we are asked for more.
Teacher appreciation week is planned out, and we are asked to donate a certain amount and/or send in various specific gifts. They ask for meals to be brought in for the evenings when there are parent-teacher conferences.
There was a baby shower this year. There was a teacher who had an unexpected illness and was hospitalized briefly, and someone set up a gofundme page! I have no problem giving to people who really need it, but this is for a gainfully employed, insured adult. I would gladly send a card, or even provide a meal while this person is recovering, but I think paying their medical bills is a bit much.
In a way, I'm a fan of donating to one large gift for teacher appreciation week, but on the other hand, it seems very contrived. I'd kind of rather give something to the teachers who really mean something. For example, my kid is in music, and the music teacher was assigned to a different class for appreciation gifts.
Anyway, I hear you. ETA I work and make less than teachers with the same years of experience, and no one gives me gifts for doing my job, or brings me dinner when I have to work late. Again, I am very supportive of public schools and teachers, but I think it has gone over the top.
This kind of stuff bugs me, too. I even had some issues with that class that donated their class trip money to their teacher with cancer. One would presume she was insured as well. Sometimes kids don't know any better, but someone should clue them in.
My daughter attends a private school. There are 16 kids in her class this year. Typically, at the beginning of the year each family kicks in $100 to cover teacher gifts through the year. My girl likes making personalized gifts -a card, a craft of some kind - which we'll give for a holiday or Teacher Appreciation week. Or if we see something special such as a souvenir of the local sports team which the teacher is a fan of, we'll pick that up. We've developed good friendships with each of her teachers and it's not unusual for us to call each other outside of school or even to occasionally meet for lunch on a weekend. This coming Monday is the last day of the school year and there's a handmade card waiting to be delivered thanking her for all the effort and help since last fall. And I'll tuck a gift card in there just to let her know that we really do appreciate all her work. This is not competetive parenting. We're able to do this and it does come from the heart. (And despite what some may think here, I do have one.)
$100 is a lot!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Workin_Hard
It covers the teacher and other specialty teachers who do not have a specific homeroom - French teacher, music teacher, etc. It covers the after-party following the class play. For kindergarten through 2nd grade there were two teachers in the room. This year, for 3rd grade there's one. The money does get spread around. Those who want to give a little more on an individual basis may do so. I don't know who does, can't keep track of that and it's not my business anyhow.
If I go out for dinner, I leave $25 or more for a tip on a $100 bill. For someone who merely moved my food across a restaurant seating area. What's wrong with showing the same type of appreciation to the teacher who provides a trusted environment and proper instruction to my child for 9 months out of the year?
Interesting perspective. However, in some places, food servers don't even make minimum wage because tips are expected to make up the difference. They make less than $3/hour here. If teachers were expected to be paid by their students, it might be a fair comparison, but it is really apples and oranges.
There was a teacher who had an unexpected illness and was hospitalized briefly, and someone set up a gofundme page! I have no problem giving to people who really need it, but this is for a gainfully employed, insured adult. I would gladly send a card, or even provide a meal while this person is recovering, but I think paying their medical bills is a bit much.
There is a teacher at my school who is dealing with an unexpected illness this year. We get 10 sick and 3 personal days a year. She has used all of that and is now taking leave without pay. I'm not sure if she still has insurance because she's no longer got a check for her portion to come out of. Sometimes even if someone has a job they are still in need.
There is a teacher at my school who is dealing with an unexpected illness this year. We get 10 sick and 3 personal days a year. She has used all of that and is now taking leave without pay. I'm not sure if she still has insurance because she's no longer got a check for her portion to come out of. Sometimes even if someone has a job they are still in need.
True. Not the case with my example, but good to keep in mind.
Well I live in the area where the schools are not good so my son goes to private school and they do ask for money for teacher gifts.
However, my friends who teach in the area cant even get the parents to pay for a 5 dollar school trip or buy a box of tissues. Some of the kids don't come to school with pencils or notebooks. So there are no teacher gifts there.
However, my friends who teach in nicer areas (and also make more) get gifts, cards, invited over for dinner. The parents are just competing for their child to get special treatment in already decent schools.
Different area different circumstances.
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