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I totally agree. The best way to prevent your kid from making fun of fat people is to not make fun of fat people yourself. Often times kids just get in trouble for doing what you inadvertently teach them. I learned that lesson after my then 8 year old daughter told her teacher I didn't like her so she doubted I'd be inviting her to my show. (I was in a band at the time) She said this while I was standing there behind her after the teacher just asked me what time my show was. Needless to say it was an embarrassing punishment I needed. I learned a hard lesson that day as it was only the beginning of the year. It was about to get l o n g. lol
Learned my lesson. I stopped doing and saying the crap I didn't want to see my kids mimic in public to strangers. Something tells me "fat" jokes are a family affair. With the recent talk of fat America and how it's frowned on from the presidents wife all the way down to the toddler I think we will see a lot more harsh remarks toward plump people. It's a sad reality.
Its called respect, children learn this from their parents. If a child disrespects someone it usually reflects the parents behavior. However if your child disrespects the wrong person he will get a slap in the face or a down right beating. Then as a parent how ill you feel.?
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Originally Posted by PoppySead
I totally agree. The best way to prevent your kid from making fun of fat people is to not make fun of fat people yourself. Often times kids just get in trouble for doing what you inadvertently teach them. I learned that lesson after my then 8 year old daughter told her teacher I didn't like her so she doubted I'd be inviting her to my show. (I was in a band at the time) She said this while I was standing there behind her after the teacher just asked me what time my show was. Needless to say it was an embarrassing punishment I needed. I learned a hard lesson that day as it was only the beginning of the year. It was about to get l o n g. lol
Learned my lesson. I stopped doing and saying the crap I didn't want to see my kids mimic in public to strangers. Something tells me "fat" jokes are a family affair. With the recent talk of fat America and how it's frowned on from the presidents wife all the way down to the toddler I think we will see a lot more harsh remarks toward plump people. It's a sad reality.
There have certainly been plenty of fat-shaming posts on this thread. (Agreeing, though I prefer to keep M. Obama's politics out of it.)
So someone noticing that someone is fat is mean spirited gossip? If they are they are, just like if they're tall, short or different in another way. Parents are absolutely able to discuss differences between people in a supportive private environment or are we to pretend we're all clones?
I'm sorry, but this is where things have gone too far. People are different sizes, shapes, colours. They wear different clothes for cultural and style reasons. They have tattoos and piercings. These are FACTS not speculation.
The poster did not say "if you have any questions about someone's appearance ask me quietly later and I'll explain" they said first not to make disparaging remarks to a person but that talking about it quietly among family members was ok . Sounds like different things to me. Hopefully I misinterpreted. Still unsure what would need to be discussed regarding the weight of a complete stranger at a waterpark. The child had already made disparaging remarks (per the OP) so they know it's negative, they were not "making an observation " like a toddler might.
Coming from an 11-year-old who was on a cruise to ASIAN countries, that was deliberate, smart-assy behavior (POSSIBLY to mask some feelings of uncertainty or insecurity, but saying it so loudly was meant to hurt and was wrong, wrong, wrong). And it requires the type of lightly smart-assy response that registers with pre-pubescents, such as: "Oh, you mean the Asians who actually LIVE in this part of the world? Why, I think I heard that they were asking one another what YOU are doing here!" And then I would have explained how rude, inappropriate, and ugly "Ugly American" syndrome and racism are.
I hope that by the end of the trip, he developed some cultural awareness and appreciation. You gave him a great gift by taking him so far out of the country!
I know my kid and it was an honest thing he said...possibly because we'd been queueing to get on the cruise for a while, amongst mainly white people.
The Asians were regulars and knew to rush on at the last minute lol.
Yes it was an awesome experience particularly when a beggar on a raft with two tiny babies approached us in the middle of Halong Bay. My children had never seen anything like it, it was a HUGE wakeup call that that's how some people have to live.
So speaking rudely directly to a person is unacceptable, but mean spirited gossip and speculation of physical and character traits of others is ok as long as they are out of earshot?
Not the lesson I'd be after or the example I'd want to set.
If a person is noticeably overweight than it is a fact. If my child wants to discuss this with me, I am happy to talk about it. Why do you assume that this will be a "mean spirited gossip"? I will just confirm to them that this person is overweight but that commenting about it to an adult stranger is unaccepatble. Then I would probably tell them that it is important to eat well and exercise to stay in shape and not to become overweight. I will probably also mention that some people gain and lose weight quicker/slower due to different metabolism. Sounds like a good teachable point to me.
If a person is noticeably overweight than it is a fact. If my child wants to discuss this with me, I am happy to talk about it. Why do you assume that this will be a "mean spirited gossip"? I will just confirm to them that this person is overweight but that commenting about it to an adult stranger is unaccepatble. Then I would probably tell them that it is important to eat well and exercise to stay in shape and not to become overweight. I will probably also mention that some people gain and lose weight quicker/slower due to different metabolism. Sounds like a good teachable point to me.
I addressed this already. See post 184. The context of the OP is that of an older child -old enough to know better - taunting or shaming someone. Not a toddler loudly observing.
I just got in from the water park and noticed two disturbing incidents of relatively young kids (probably under 10) poking fun of fat adults on the lazy river to their face. While kids will often just blurt something out, the parents didn't seem to correct the kids. Had I said something like that, my mother would have been after me!
Would you discipline your child for publicly insulting a fat person?
My father swatted me for making fun (or actually wanting to make fun) of a crippled person. Children should be brought up to be gentle to those less healthy, strong or fortunate than them.
I was shopping with my then almost 3 yr old and he noticed a very large woman. He shrieked "There's a BIG lady..HELLO big lady!"
He wasn't being mean - he was in complete wonderment at the sheer size of her. Still, it was very embarrassing and he did get severely chastised.
I was shopping with my then almost 3 yr old and he noticed a very large woman. He shrieked "There's a BIG lady..HELLO big lady!"
He wasn't being mean - he was in complete wonderment at the sheer size of her. Still, it was very embarrassing and he did get severely chastised.
As others have said, there is a huge difference between a 2 year old making a comment like that and a 10 year old or older child making a derogatory comment.
Please go to CD:s fashion section and watch how adults are bullying fat people and all those who they don't "prefer".Who is going to teach them to not bullying other living beings?
Those parents probably are bullies too.
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With the recent talk of fat America and how it's frowned on from the presidents wife all the way down to the toddler I think we will see a lot more harsh remarks toward plump people. It's a sad reality.
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