Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
While it is possible, maybe even probable, that my teenagers had sex with their GF or BF in our home while we were gone or maybe in our basement recreation room after we fell asleep.
My husband and I did not allow our teenagers to have sex, with others, in their bedrooms (with our knowledge). It did not ever come up but if as a college student they would have brought home a BF or GF we would of had them sleep in separate rooms.
A friend of mine apparently found a condom in her 16 yr olds bedroom. She said that his girlfriend comes over, and they go to his room.
Now, she doesn't know what to do about it. She says that he wears condoms and he knows the importance of being safe. Said they will find somewhere to have sex, so why not let them feel free to have it at home?
Hmmm...I told her that is disrespectful, for her son to be having sex in his room, but she argues that she is doing the right thing.
What is right?
This is a little bit hard to follow. She allows them to be alone in his room, but only just found confirmation of what they were doing in there? NOW she doesn't know what to do?
I had the same boyfriend from age 16 to 21. My parents never outright gave me permission (I would never have asked), but after a couple years it was just a "don't ask, don't tell" thing. My mother found my birth control--my parents knew. His mother knew. We just had sex when they weren't there, after they went to bed, or elsewhere. It was the same with our oldest. We didn't ask, she didn't tell, although I did take her to get the pill when she asked me. I prefer that to what I did, which was ditch school and get my friend to drive me to Planned Parenthood. She and her boyfriend have been together for three years.
This is a little bit hard to follow. She allows them to be alone in his room, but only just found confirmation of what they were doing in there? NOW she doesn't know what to do?
Meh, she was telling me about it. Guess she just wanted to know what I would do about it.
No, I would not allow a 16 year old to have sex in my house under any circumstances.
I wouldn't knowingly let my son have sex with somebody else's daughter in my house, because I wouldn't want another parent to allow my daughter to do the same. To me, that is just encouraging them to have sex. I know I couldn't totally stop them, but it just wont be in my house. If I'm away at work or out and about, then I obviously can't control what happens if I'm not there. But, they both will know where I stand on the issue. I would want no role in somebody's daughter getting pregnant, especially under my roof.
A relative of mine was absolutely horrified to find out that her 15 year old son occasionally snuck out of their house and went over to his girlfriend's home after she & her husband went to bed.
Apparently, the GF's mom knew about it and was OK with them having sex in her house. ???!!!!
How did my relative finally find out? When her 15 year old son, a sophomore in high school, told them that he was dropping out of school to get a job because his 16 year old GF was pregnant. The GF's mom was insistent that they get married right away. Sheesh!
The teens got married and both dropped out of HS. It was a real mess! The marriage only lasted a few years.
Although, my relative had no way of knowing for sure she speculated that the girl's mom was so nonchalant about them having sex in her house because she got pregnant & was married as a HS student so she felt that it was normal teenage behavior. Her mother also got pregnant & got married in HS. I believe that the older woman was a great-grandma before she turned 50.
Now, it may turn out completely different for you or the OPs friend but this is what happened to my relative.
I don't know if this makes a difference or not, but these were not long time BF/GF. According to my relative they had only had a couple of actual dates before the GF's Mom told them that it was OK to have sex at her house.
Last edited by germaine2626; 06-15-2015 at 02:07 PM..
That's what I find weird, is him having sex while his parents are home!
Shoot, when my husband and I went to visit my Mom, we were there for 6 days and he said that he couldn't go that long without sex. I told him I could not have sex and enjoy it in their house. Just weird! Well, sure enough. I gave in, but was not enjoyable. Kinda like a hurry up deal.
My Mom said that they heard a cat scratchin` last night.
Never again!
Why have such weird hang ups about where you have sex?
Why is it so disrespectful to do something so natural?
Even more so for you, you're a MARRIED adult.
My boyfriend and I stayed with my mom for a month and a half after my brother tragically lost his girlfriend.
Neither he and I were going that long without sex. We were just quiet. What someone doesn't know won't hurt them.
He and I even lived with his sister for a bit so she could keep her house after a divorce. We of course had our own bedroom in the basement but she also had a kid. We lived there for over a year. We locked the door and were very quiet if anyone was home. This country is so weird about sex.
While it is possible, maybe even probable, that my teenagers had sex with their GF or BF in our home while we were gone or maybe in our basement recreation room after we fell asleep.
My husband and I did not allow our teenagers to have sex, with others, in their bedrooms (with our knowledge). It did not ever come up but if as a college student they would have brought home a BF or GF we would of had them sleep in separate rooms.
Your house, your rules.
Even in college?? As a grown adult? Really? What is this Saudi Arabia?
If you were my parent I'd stay at a hotel instead of the house just because you wanted to control me as an adult.
I know my older son, who is gay, was sexually active by the age of 17, perhaps sooner. He's a private person, so I don't know for certain.
My daughter waited until she was 18, though still in her senior year of high school. I'm fairly sure of this because she and my wife have always had a very open and unabashed rapport about sex - and our daughter volunteered the information not long after she became sexually active.
The fact that my wife is a public school teacher, and is very wired into the local grapevine, gives me fairly high confidence in the accuracy of this information.
They never asked our permission. We never told them they needed to do so. What we did do is raise them with the knowledge to approach the issue responsibly. We've also understood that human beings are sexual creatures, and the desire for sexual contact is natural. Obviously, this has to be balanced with practical considerations, and we did everything we could to inculcate these considerations in them. They are both with boyfriends - our son for almost two years, our daughter for about eight months - who are good people and who are good for them. Really, we couldn't ask for much more.
Does the idea of my children being sexually active make me somewhat uncomfortable? Yes. But that's not the issue. I don't hold to any religious nonsense about consensual sex outside of marriage being 'sinful', so that was never a matter to get in the way of practical parenting. It's entirely an issue of balancing the well-being of my children with their inevitable sexual desires.
People have sex. The vast majority of them do so before getting married because it's a natural part of human pair-bonding. The best a parent can hope and plan for is that they do so while protecting themselves both physically and emotionally.
Don't lose sight of the fact that, ultimately, this is about them and not you.
A friend of mine apparently found a condom in her 16 yr olds bedroom. She said that his girlfriend comes over, and they go to his room.
Now, she doesn't know what to do about it. She says that he wears condoms and he knows the importance of being safe. Said they will find somewhere to have sex, so why not let them feel free to have it at home?
Hmmm...I told her that is disrespectful, for her son to be having sex in his room, but she argues that she is doing the right thing.
What is right?
If my teenagers had someone of the opposite sex over they had to leave their bedroom door open at least halfway. If they were in the basement rec room, my husband or I would frequently need to "get something" or ask them if they want soda or a snack.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, sure enough. I gave in, but was not enjoyable. Kinda like a hurry up deal. 
