Are you for or against giving your kids money for college? (teaching, support)

[tht1guy]

I feel its really weird that i have to beg my mother to give me money for a higher education. Thats something i should be getting without asking? Why do I feel neglected? Am i overreacting? Im moving to New York City for a higher learning. To improve myself and surround myself people i can look up to. I kind of understand she makes $28,000 a year ( which is just downright pathetic but whatev). I feel like crap asking but its like she doesn't even care? Like isn't that the main reason why you become a parent? Because you have the capabilities to prepare a human being for the world ahead of them. I just feel like she hasn't given me the skills to actually make a decent living. Iv'e Brought this up her not giving what i need to succeed before and all she has to say is " Well I fed you?" As if food in my stomach ensures spontaneous abundance of riches and success ( which it totally doesn't by the way). I guess i shouldn't complain because i had a home warm food and a bath to clean myself. But at the same time how does that help me long term?? I was brought up on a strict household. There was total blockage from the outside world. Cleaning. Thats the extent of my knowledge. How to do dishes. How to clean the bathroom. How to cut grass. How to fold blankets. She was SO CONVINCED on teaching me about what goes on inside the house she neglected to properly inform me about life outside . I just don't want to end up like her and i don't see why she doesn't see that. I know i need to go back to school ( and i will) i just want some help from the one person thats helped me with everything else. So the question is?? Are parents qualified as a parent when they don't prepare their children from the outside world??

[Kibbiekat]

Well, I'm "for" it, and I hope I'll be able to help my kids with college, but someone earning $28k can't afford it. It is nice, but it isn't required. You need to stop asking and figure out how to help yourself. Why can't you get a job? How is it her fault you can't support yourself?

[kaelti12]

My mom's rule, for both me and my brother, was that she would help all she could as long as we: applying for all aid available, did something that would earn us a scholarship or two, and carried a work study job. Oh and of course stayed on track with our studies and maintained good grades.

I went to a state school to study teaching, I have a small amount of debt, which my mother still helps me pay(she never wanted us to have to pay for our degrees, but my dad had a stroke and lost his job right before I started college) I pay some, but I don't make much money as a young teacher, so we each pay about half.
My brother on the other hand, went to a private out of state school, he has a much higher loan debt, but got a astrophysics engineering degree, and is making a large sum of money, so he is paying his off on his own.

Each family has to decide what works for them, my mom has extra money to help out, but if she didn't I wouldn't expect it. Its not much, but I really appreciate that she is willing to help me, since teaching wages are low when you start out.

Having loans isn't too bad, my loan payments per month are low because of my income, paying for college doesn't have to be up front, but you have to be willing to pay the loan payments every month without fail, even if it means living with the basics for awhile.

[purehuman]

I find it really really weird that you would automatically expect her to pay...especially with her small income.
That's not something you should feel entitled to, not at all
Just supposing you got your education and a fine career, would you give a portion of YOUR wage to your mom....you know...a nice way of saying thanks?
Do you feel she should feel entitled to it...like you?

She qualified as a parent when she put a roof over your head, fed you good food, and kept you clean...I'm sure there was some love thrown in too.
Whining about your mom will make only YOU look sad.

[weeblywobbly]

What are your grades like? You would definitely qualify for aid with her income level. How about scholarships?

[Pitt Chick]

Your mother does not owe you a college education.
Sad that you feel she does, when she barely makes enough as it is....

[Stagemomma]

Sorry, she doesn't make much money...do you know where money comes from and where it goes? Pouting about her lack of interest/ability to pay is not going to get you anywhere.

Fill out your FAFSA and find out what your options for aid are. Get a job. (why move to NY to go to school? The most expensive choice possible?) If she sees you are serious about making this happen for yourself, she might pitch in as she is able.

[jayrandom]

Money for college is something you generally get without asking, because if you have to ask you aren't getting anything.

It sounds like your mother raised you to be responsible and hard working. Those are attributes that will serve you well in the outside world. Did your mother go to college? If not, I don't think you should expect her to know how to prepare you for college. Presumably your mother let you go to school where they taught you things. If she did not permit you to go to school then that would make her unfit.

As for college, it looks like you're on your own. You should qualify for financial aid.

[Mattie]

Why are you going to school in NYC instead of a much less expensive alternative in state? Unless you've been awarded generous scholarships, that doesn't sound like a smart move at all.

[Mark2347]

Yeah, at 28K annually she doesn't owe you a college education. As previously mentioned, there are plenty of good affordable state schools out there. Go to a financial aid office and find out what loans/grants you qualify for.