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Are parents still teaching their daughters to be ladies? While I believe women achieving everything they may desire in their hearts, there is a certain way to carry yourself. Is that a lost art?
Things my mother taught me:
*A professional/educated women should never have to announce her background or achievement -it should be apparent by the way you dress and how you carry yourself.
*Don't be loud. Everyone in your vicinity should not clearly hear your conversation.
*The man that is a professional is looking for a woman that matches his presentation and appearance.
As a mother/father - do you teach your children to act like ladies?
These things aren't 'ladylike', just sexist.
My kids are naturally inclined to speak quietly when appropriate. In fact, they sometimes remind me to turn my volume down. They know when not to disturb others in public, that's just good manners. They've learned manners from the many adults who have had positive influence in their lives, and learned what not to do from watching jerks in action.
They also know that if you don't toot your own horn, you won't get the respect you deserve. Women are overlooked and underpaid in many (if not most professions). Have you ever heard of the glass ceiling? It still exists. And what do you consider a 'profession'? I'm a children's librarian. I'm an educator and I have a master's degree. I wear colorful clothes and comfortable sneakers some days and I make a complete fool of myself at storytime. So for me, that is how I announce my achievement, because I am DARN good at what I do. Whatever work my kids end up doing, I expect them to give 100% and present themselves with the most important clothing of all: confidence!
Regardless of my 'presentation and appearance', I expect the man I am looking for to think my profession is super cool, and I expect him to be equally engaged by what he is passionate about. If that means he wears a suit, or sneakers to work, fine with me.
I wasn't raised to be much of anything and I, too, joined the Corps. That's where I learned that I represented a superior institution and I would be looked at with interest and criticism. That's where I learned there was a right and a wrong way to carry myself. That people judged you on how you presented yourself. ladylike was an unspoken but highly encouraged idea. That good personal hygiene, makeup application, conservative attire and manners would get you much further in life AND in the Marine Corps. I've been in a male-dominated industry for 30 years and I'm as ladylike as possible. And I'm good at my job and have done well.
Of course, people are often surprised to learn I was once in the Marine Corps (for 9 yrs active duty) because I'm not the typical hose-beast they imagine we all are. Thanks Bake! j/k Semper Fi.
Not a ladylike phrase fyi.
As for the rest..everyone, male and female, benefits from dress and demeanor appropriate to the occasion.
The one about the way you dress has me scratching my head in this day and age. I went to an Ivy League law school but work in a casual tech environment, so don't really dress like a "lady" - if that means proper business attire
My daughter's personality is such that she's naturally quiet and polite and she dresses modestly of her own volition. I'm trying to teach her to stand up for herself and things she believes in, to be self-confident and to be a contributing member of society.
I have no idea where that falls on the spectrum of "ladylike" behavior and I don't care.
and American men tend to or prefer marrying Asian women.
I miss the days where women are like real women.
There is a reason why there is huge demand for Asian women.
Have you ever met an actual "real" woman?
I am a real woman no matter how I am dressed, what I am doing or who I am with.
As far as being a lady, I don't carry a parasol, wear what is considered dress up clothes most of the time but I don't fart, belch or scratch my lady parts in public either so I guess I can still be a lady.
PS ~~ Real women come in all makes, models, and colors .............just like Real men and Pick Up Trucks....
This reminds me of Candice Bergen's autobiography "A Fine Romance" in which she writes that the French disliked her show "Murphy Brown" because they like their women to be soft spoken and flirty (manipulative) and yes ladylike in dress and manner way and Murphy was anything but that.
Honesty should be used at all times. Consideration should be used at all times. Dignity should be used at all times.
But, there are times you have to be quiet and times you have to shout. So, when it comes down to it, if a woman has to be a "Murphy Brown," forget the ladylike poses. If that's not ladylike, too bad. We are not in France.
I was taught to be quiet, modest, and "ladylike." Thank God I outgrew that nonsense.
Modest, quiet, ladylike... these are NOT things that define a woman.
My dad used to advise me to "beat up" the kid who bullied me. But, on the other hand, I was expected to dress up for church, not be loud, not to 'talk back' to my elders (which led to me being sexually abused by multiple neighbor men for many, many years. I was afraid to speak up and 'talk back,' which is ridiculous.) Women-ladies-females... whichever word you prefer... SHOULD speak up and speak out. Never should a little girl be taught to kowtow and acquiesce if it's not the right thing for her to do.
I'm considerate of others, am kind to animals and children, and know how to behave in public... like a decent human being of any gender should.
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