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Stopping bullying is a two-way street. Yes, a parent should encourage their kid not too. But secondly, a parent should do their part to avoid putting a bullseye on their kids back to be a target. A middle name like this is painting that bullseye bright red. I was a mean girl until I started maturing late in high school, and can tell you no one is picked on at random. Those who are bullied have something about them that led up to the bullying. You want to stop bullying, then parents also need to know how to not make their kids targets for bullying, because at the end of the day, kids will be kids.
If I got a message from a school principal that my daughter was picking on someone with this name, I won't tell her it's ok; but I can't deny that my first reaction will be to say "that's really his name?" and then chuckle, with my daughter would certainly notice. Still, as I posted, I would tell her that it's not nice to pick on someone and not to do it. What I don't think you like is that I am saying I am not going to discipline further. I believe in picking my spots, and don't think this is one. If you get on your kid over everything, they end up resenting you.
You should teach your kids that no how big of a "target" a kid is, it is never okay to pick on them. Picking on someone because of their name is no different than picking on them because of their race, gender, sexual orientation, sexual identity, hair color, how they dress, their social skills, nerdiness, hobbies etc. The fact that you are too immature to hold your laughter back in front of your own child and that you would not halt the bullying immediately speaks volumes of how highly you think of yourself and how poorly you think others should be treated if they don't meet your standards. It would be no surprise to me if your child is or will become a bully. It is a learned behavior.
Even if I agreed the name, or whatever reason the kid is being targeted is weird, dumb or strange it is MY job as the parent to make sure that my kids know we shouldn't judge people based on these things and we need to be accepting of others. "I know you think the name is dumb daughter, but it is not nice to pick on someone just because of their name. How do you think X feels about his name? How do you think X feels when you make fun of his name? How would you feel if someone made fun of your name? What are some things you like about X?" It's called empathy and our society is several lacking it (which you so wonderfully demonstrated).
I think as a first name Apollo is really cool, i like what it means and as an avid fan of outer space I like its relation to the Apollo Program. For a middle name I though Nova Scotia sounded cool, it's Latin for New Scotland and I'm from New Zealand but have Scottish ancestors so that's kind of a node to that heratiger but more than that I think it just sounds cool, do you think it's too much or okay? Also since Apollo is 3 syllables I was thinking it would probably end up being abbreviated, any ideas as for what to abbreviate Apollo to? Thanks
What, the kid isn't even born yet and you already hate them so much that you'd hang such a freakish moniker on them?
This is not a doll, this is a child that will have to get a job one day. Maybe even have a career. And yes, the name does matter, very much so.
For me, if it doesn't pass the political/doctor/professor/lawyer/teacher test, it's not happening. If it won't look good or professional in some form on a desk plaque, a diploma, a door plate, a street sign, a resume... then no.
Think of the future, not what your friends and family will think is cute or cool now.
The fact that you are too immature to hold your laughter back in front of your own child...
We are going to disagree, but a few things to clarify...
My initial chuckle would be because someone actually named their kid after a Canadian Province that simply has no ring to it to be used a name, as would Alberta. Nova Scotia certainly doesn't go with "Apollo". (Actually I think I just solved the OP's dilemma, use Nova Scotia with a daughter in which you name Alberta; at least with that there is a semblance of the names going together). That is how I reacted when I first saw thread, so that is how I would react in the described situation. Because I feel I have a very close relationship with my kids, I don't think I could hold back. I don't claim to be a perfect person.
Now, having said that...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennies4Penny
It would be no surprise to me if your child is or will become a bully. It is a learned behavior.
I agree with you more then you might think here about it being a learned behavior. Because I was a "mean girl" as a kid and young teenager (and my husband wasn't a saint either at the same age), I am paying very close attention to what my kids are doing in school in regards to this issue. This is why I talk about "picking my spots" in regards to discipline. As I have posted before, I am still going to lecture her about not picking on the kid with dumb names' dumb name; but I am not going further with discipline. That's saved if I need it for instances of physical bullying or more hurtful words of hate. The kid with the dumb name is gonna hear it from everyone, and in my opinion, it is up to his parents to prepare him for it, not up to me to justify it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennies4Penny
"I know you think the name is dumb daughter, but it is not nice to pick on someone just because of their name. How do you think X feels about his name? How do you think X feels when you make fun of his name? How would you feel if someone made fun of your name? What are some things you like about X?" It's called empathy and our society is several lacking it (which you so wonderfully demonstrated).
Ultimately yes, this type of statements would be used in my aforementioned lecture.
I think as a first name Apollo is really cool, i like what it means and as an avid fan of outer space I like its relation to the Apollo Program. For a middle name I though Nova Scotia sounded cool, it's Latin for New Scotland and I'm from New Zealand but have Scottish ancestors so that's kind of a node to that heratiger but more than that I think it just sounds cool, do you think it's too much or okay? Also since Apollo is 3 syllables I was thinking it would probably end up being abbreviated, any ideas as for what to abbreviate Apollo to? Thanks
I think it's fine as long as you include the postal code.
Stopping bullying is a two-way street. Yes, a parent should encourage their kid not too. But secondly, a parent should do their part to avoid putting a bullseye on their kids back to be a target. A middle name like this is painting that bullseye bright red. I was a mean girl until I started maturing late in high school, and can tell you no one is picked on at random. Those who are bullied have something about them that led up to the bullying. You want to stop bullying, then parents also need to know how to not make their kids targets for bullying, because at the end of the day, kids will be kids.
If I got a message from a school principal that my daughter was picking on someone with this name, I won't tell her it's ok; but I can't deny that my first reaction will be to say "that's really his name?" and then chuckle, with my daughter would certainly notice. Still, as I posted, I would tell her that it's not nice to pick on someone and not to do it. What I don't think you like is that I am saying I am not going to discipline further. I believe in picking my spots, and don't think this is one. If you get on your kid over everything, they end up resenting you.
And now we know what happens to school bullies - they become parents who justify bullying is acceptable because - after all - those who are bullied have something about them that led to the bullying. What a sick and twisted view to pass on to your own children. Joining your child in the ridicule of a child's name?
Somehow your claim that you matured late in high school rings false. You are still a "mean girl", just an older one.
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