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Old 08-03-2015, 07:34 AM
 
Location: East Coast
4,249 posts, read 3,701,040 times
Reputation: 6480

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacatnv View Post
Many excellent points

When DD was in 7th grade, we moved 2000 miles for my job. We made the move at the end of March. I think the summer moves are not all they are cracked up to be, the new kids get lost in the masses.

When we moved, I was in communication with her new school, the counselor etc. Since the counselor only had one new student to deal with she was able to hand pick DD's class assignments as well as when we arrived on day 1, she had a few students picked out to hang out with DD, show her around etc. It was a very personalized introduction and I was very thankful we didn't wait for summer as was originally planned. 6 weeks later, when we got to summer, DD had met a few kids and started to form relationships so she had things to do and people to hang out with that summer.

Moving is tough, there is no way around it but the one thing we really tried to do was we put as much effort as possible into making it as easy on DD as possible.

We loosened up on the social rules. We had to, we didn't know all the kids and parents like we had in our prior hometown/school so DD spent the night with friends whose parents we had never met, she went to the movies or an amusement park or the mall with a group of kids we did not know etc.

DD is now a Jr in high school, she has a great group of friends and the move was one of the best things we ever did for our family.

Yes moving sucks but with a bit of planning and thought, parents can ease the trauma for their children. Good luck!
This is really helpful. My son is entering 6th grade. Right now we are considering moving around the March timeframe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
We moved at the beginning of summer with our kids (8 and 9) and really it wasn't a big deal. They made friends with some neighbors. I reached out to the PTA at my kids school via FB and we have had some play dates and we filled up time with summer camps and exploring our new area. Its been really nice.
I have had this thought, but my concern is I have no idea what sort of neighborhood we'll end up in. Our current neighborhood has many kids, including 6 other boys my son's age, so it is extra hard leaving this area because I know the chances of getting a similar situation again are low. We have some very specific criteria for location of our new place, which puts us in an area with older housing stock, so there is a chance that there will be few kids my kids' ages really nearby.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
This is especially true when the kids are all going to be moving into a new school like the first year of middle school, first year of high school or kindergarten. Since all the kids will be new, it is easier on a child who just moved, imo.
My kids now are entering the first year of middle school and kindergarten. I agree this is more true at this point, but there is no way we can move before the beginning of the school year.
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Old 08-03-2015, 07:41 AM
 
Location: East Coast
4,249 posts, read 3,701,040 times
Reputation: 6480
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Even though I think summer moves are ideal, I'm really for the family moving together.
I know it's not ideal, but if my husband starts Oct 1, I don't think that's enough time for us to move. I know there's always the possibility of renting, but we really don't want to move twice and if we moved, we'd really want the kids to stay in the same school district, as we wouldn't want them to change schools twice, and that would be limiting. We'd like to find the house that is right for us and move then. We're thinking at this point that we'll put our house on the market in January (and I know that's the worst time to put a house on the market), and move around March. My husband will be back on weekends, and with Thanksgiving and Christmas in that mix, I think it will be okay -- my parents and inlaws are close enough that they come to our house for both holidays, but in our new place, that's unlikely. They'll probably come for one or the other. So at least we'll have one more round of holidays that go the way my kids have always experienced them.
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Old 08-03-2015, 11:16 AM
 
Location: A coal patch in Pennsyltucky
10,325 posts, read 10,584,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sonderella View Post
The new kid celebrity status is more likely to happen in elementary school, where most classes are at least somewhat contained (not switching for every subject). I experienced this twice in elementary. While scary, it was also kind of fun, being the center of attention.

I think it's less likely to happen in middle school and beyond, though. At that point, many schools are larger, often a mix-up of several feeder elementary/middle schools, and a lot of kids feel "new" in that their friends from previous schools are either going to different schools, or have different schedules. I think it'd be harder to come in the middle of middle or high school, when new friendships have already been made, versus starting at the beginning, when everybody is searching for his or her place within the social structure.
Kids will still seek out the friends they know from elementary and middle school. Kids who start the year in a new school will likely walk into the cafeteria on the first day (or longer) and eat by themselves. Unless your child is very outgoing, they are not going to walk up to a table and ask if they can sit with that group.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
We moved at the beginning of summer with our kids (8 and 9) and really it wasn't a big deal. They made friends with some neighbors. I reached out to the PTA at my kids school via FB and we have had some play dates and we filled up time with summer camps and exploring our new area. Its been really nice.
We were hoping our kids would find neighborhood kids their age with whom they could make friends. It was a new development with not many houses at the time. It took years as more houses were built before we saw many kids around. Our youngest, who was starting kindergarten, was the first to make a friend. She met a girl at the bus stop who was also starting kindergarten. The girl's house was only about 150 yards from our house but we had not seen her in the two months we lived in the neighborhood. With computers, cell phones, dance, gymnastics, piano lessons, karate, traveling sports, etc., neighborhoods are not like they were when I was a kid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
Since you cannot move this summer, I would wait and do the move towards the end of next summer. That way, your son can enjoy one last summer vacation with his local friends, and then start in his new school the same as everyone else.

This talk about new kids being "celebrities" was certainly not my experience. When I was in elementary school, we lived in Virginia, but my family had to spend the entire month of September in Florida because of my father's allergies. (It eventually got so bad that we moved down there permanently.) The problem was that I never got to attend the first day of school, or the first week, or the first month. When I came back at the end of September, I was academically OK, because my parents homeschooled me during that month. But socially I was all out of whack. And this was with kids that I already knew! I can't imagine how it would have been if I was totally new to the school.

(When I started 5th grade, my mom took me on a plane back to Virginia so I could experience the first week of school. It was wonderful! I wish I could have done that every year.)
We delayed our move for a year when I took a new job. I was able to commute about 60 miles each way. In retrospect, it would've probably been better for the kids to move sooner rather than later. That would've allowed them that much more time to make friends and get established in the school district where all three eventually graduated. Our children were all in elementary school, but I think this would be more important if they were older.
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