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my daughter does this with her blankie. She is 8 now, I think she will always use it as a self soothing technique. No harm there.
If any of you are as ancient as I am, you might remember the Phil Donahue show. A frequent guest was a pediatrician named, Lendon Smith. Dr. Smith was a funny, easy going guy, whose advice was always comforting. He thought mothers knew best and shouldn't get all stressed out. He thought bribing children was fine, head lice and pinworms only proved your kid had friends, and also that a child that figures out a self soothing mechanism, like thumb or blanket sucking, was obviously more intelligent than one who did not. (My gifted child was my only thumb sucker, lol.)
My position on the pacifier subject hasn't changed. I wouldn't use a pacifier after the first month or so. I think it's important that a baby's needs be met almost instantly. Once a baby knows it can feel secure knowing it will be taken care of, then the baby will give us a few extra minutes to do whatever it needs, without a plug in. This being said, if your kid is screaming in the back seat and you're 20 minutes form home, do whatever works for you.
Pretty interesting as the kids I referenced earlier for "too much" fit this to a T. Numerous ear infections, behind in speech, definitely will need braces. One is 3.5 and speaks like a two year old.
The problem today is people don't want to deal with "stuff." They want quick fixes and quick results, which applies to more than just parenting. It is a lot easier and more convenient to just shove a paci in your kid's face than it is to take time out to sooth them with rocking, or a walk or to nurse them, but it is not good for them in the long term and you end up with more expensive problems like braces or speech therapy.
I am not saying that all parents who use them are like this, but it is true for, I would bet, most of them.
Interesting, coming from you. I gave my second child a pacifier, because my toddler with autism and a severe eating disorder required constant work and attention. All day dealing with feeding therapists, cooking, anxiety, I had no time to rock that second baby.
Parents today! When *I* was a parent, we had to walk up hill BOTH ways to and from school. And it snowed and was 20 below every single day.
Good grief.
You realize I am a "parent today" with young kids all under 5 right?? But I do like to read and learn new things when I have the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliss2
Interesting, coming from you. I gave my second child a pacifier, because my toddler with autism and a severe eating disorder required constant work and attention. All day dealing with feeding therapists, cooking, anxiety, I had no time to rock that second baby.
Is it windy up there on your perch??
Oh shoosh with the snarkiness as I have already pointed out some BENEFITS and GOOD uses for pacifiers in previous posts, convenientl ignored I guess. I just stated that SOME parents abuse them and that they can create future problems. You can't deny that and I'm not the only who has said it.
My kids don't have any eating issues, I nurse them on demand for two years, so they don't/didn't NEED pacifiers.
You realize I am a "parent today" with young kids all under 5 right?? But I do like to read and learn new things when I have the time.
The fact of the matter is, no matter what the "research" says and however much of a dutiful, dedicated, loving, up-to-the-minute parent you think you are, you take what appeals to you and makes sense to you, and ignore the rest.
Avoiding pacifiers was not on my list of priorities, although of course I had heard about the possibility of dental problems with prolonged use. Avoiding TV was. My kids did not watch any TV or movies or play any computer games, we didn't even have a tablet or cell phone or talking toys with batteries, until the youngest was about 4. That was important to ME. That one of my children used a pacifier was not important.
Most people I know are well aware of the research that says children under two should not have any screen time, and you know what? They don't care. They say that TVs and computers are educational and fun, they entertain the kids and keep them quiet and give the parents a break. They see no reason to deny them to their little children, just because research states that screens are detrimental. Personally, I think putting babies in front of a TV or handing them a cell phone is harmful and the lazy way out. I think brain development trumps tooth placement, but I also know full well that people might chew me out for disregarding "expert" advice on other things that did not seem significant to me (i.e. pacifiers), so for the most part, I keep my mouth shut.
My kids don't have any eating issues, I nurse them on demand for two years, so they don't/didn't NEED pacifiers.
You do realize that some kids, even those nursed on demand, may suck thumbs or pacis, right?
My oldest was also nursed on demand. He was also a thumbsucker. What's even more interesting to me was I still have an ultrasound picture of him in utero sucking that thumb. There was NO WAY he was NOT sucking a thumb when he was little.
He has grown into a successful, fully functional, productive, gainfully employed adult.
You do realize that some kids, even those nursed on demand, may suck thumbs or pacis, right?
My oldest was also nursed on demand. He was also a thumbsucker. What's even more interesting to me was I still have an ultrasound picture of him in utero sucking that thumb. There was NO WAY he was NOT sucking a thumb when he was little.
He has grown into a successful, fully functional, productive, gainfully employed adult.
Yep. My son had what the nurses called "the strongest sucking reflex we've ever seen" when he was born. If given the opportunity, he would continue to suckle for over an hour after we completed a feeding. I'm sorry, but that HURTS. He was getting enough nutrition--he just wanted to suck, in fact did it in his sleep. It was actually my lactation consultant who finally ordered a pacifier in the hospital. It never once interfered with his nursing. It did, however, allow my cracked, bleeding nipples to heal. He was a late pacifier user, and I have no problem with that. We gave it up everywhere but bed (and, sometimes in the car on long trips) by the time he was 2. He wears braces now, but because he didn't have enough room for his teeth, not anything to do with his pacifier--so said his orthodontist. He's actually a very secure, stable, intelligent young man.
My daughter had no interest in a pacifier or her thumb, ever.
Incidentally, I was a thumb sucker. A really, really late one (college, anyone?). And my teeth are perfect. And I'm not an alcoholic, smoker, drug user, etc. I'm actually a very secure, stable, intelligent woman. Sometimes a thumb is just a thumb.
my daughter does this with her blankie. She is 8 now, I think she will always use it as a self soothing technique. No harm there.
Similar with my almost 4 yo son. He never took to paci or thumb sucking but he likes to rub his fingers on tags. Both his blanket tags & tshirts tag (the one on the side). And some tags are better than others - according to him .
He used to refuse to wear any shirt that has no tag on the side -but he's better about it now. If he has the urge to rub his fingers on tag but he's not wearing a shirt with tag, then he will try to find the tag on the back of his shorts/pants
Even though he's never into sucking paci or thumb, he makes sucking noise when he's asleep.
The fact of the matter is, no matter what the "research" says and however much of a dutiful, dedicated, loving, up-to-the-minute parent you think you are, you take what appeals to you and makes sense to you, and ignore the rest.
Avoiding pacifiers was not on my list of priorities, although of course I had heard about the possibility of dental problems with prolonged use. Avoiding TV was. My kids did not watch any TV or movies or play any computer games, we didn't even have a tablet or cell phone or talking toys with batteries, until the youngest was about 4. That was important to ME. That one of my children used a pacifier was not important.
Most people I know are well aware of the research that says children under two should not have any screen time, and you know what? They don't care. They say that TVs and computers are educational and fun, they entertain the kids and keep them quiet and give the parents a break. They see no reason to deny them to their little children, just because research states that screens are detrimental. Personally, I think putting babies in front of a TV or handing them a cell phone is harmful and the lazy way out. I think brain development trumps tooth placement, but I also know full well that people might chew me out for disregarding "expert" advice on other things that did not seem significant to me (i.e. pacifiers), so for the most part, I keep my mouth shut.
If you choose to ignore the research, that is on you. Some people just don't know and many people will switch gears once they learn. Isn't that the point? To learn so that we can do our best? The OP asked a question, I gave my thoughts which talked about the GOOD and bad aspects of pacifiers, I got attacked because it's not what people WANT to hear. Oh well, I'm not really surprised.
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Originally Posted by saibot
Your kids must be little indeed, if you still believe that all their issues or lack thereof are directly attributable to your superior parenting.
Go ahead and make snarky jabs. I am insecure about most things in my life, I have never felt like I was "good" at anything until I became a parent. And yes I am ****ing good at it!! I am proud of who they are and who they are becoming and if you think how you parent your kids has no impact on how they develop emotionally, mentally, physically, their self-esteem, how they react to things, how they process things, then you are completely delusional. EVERYTHING you do to your kids impacts them greatly, especially in the first five years of their lives.
I read A LOT, pretty much since the day I found out I was pregnant with my first. My dad did a lot of messed up things to me, my husband spent his life as second fiddle to his idiot brother and we are NOT going to let that happen to my kids. We live in a time where we have mountains of research, information and advice RIGHT at our fingertips! WHY NOT take advantage of it?? WHY NOT learn everything you can and FOLLOW the results of peer reviewed data and proven methods??
The truth is my parenting IS very different than mainstream American parenting and the hard truth is, Americans do a lot of things wrong. No Americans don't do EVERYTHING wrong, Americans aren't bad parents with bad intentions set out to destroy their kids, our culture has just created a type of parenting that isn't really designed for the best interest of babies and young children, but more for the convenience of the parents. People always get defensive when I talk about my parenting style and EVEN WHEN I HAVE REPUTABLE CITED SOURCES backing up my decisions, for some reason I am still the one looked at as wrong, crazy or being snooty. But I really don't care. My kids are evidence that what I am doing has been working great so far. I am not set in stone. I evolve my parenting as I learn as I noted when I talked about stopping time outs. I learned they don't fix things long term and have bad emotional effects on children, so I stopped.
So to wrap up my views on pacifiers that I concluded to based on a lot of reading and study are: they are good when used properly, they are some benefits (like reducing SIDS) and are at times necessary (baby has excessive need to suckle or for bottle feeders). However, they can have long term, negative side effects which can result in costly repairs (braces, speech therapy) and there are SOME parents who abuse them, because they can be a quick fix and it's easier to use a pacifier than to deal with the big picture.
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There was NO WAY he was NOT sucking a thumb when he was little.
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