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i got a car for my 17th birthday and this year I'll be a senior in HS. My lil sis is 13, and she'll be an 8th grader this year (we go to the same school K12). anyway she asked me if she could ride in my car to school instead of being driven by our mom (MS and HS have a pretty significant divide between the buildings) because she didn't want to be "seen in a minivan"
it was very odd to me as my parents never tried to be cool or "become one of the teens".parents, what should I do? I haven't told my mom or dad yet. it is possible for me to let her off before i park in the student lot, but did not want to hurt my mom's feelings by telling her.
rgds
So, are you saying that on certain days...like every day....TWO cars from your family will leave the same house, and go to exactly the same location at the same time of day?
If you can't get beyond using twice as much gas, putting twice as much wear and tear on your cars, putting twice as much pollution in the air, and having mom and dad pay for an empty bus which goes past your house every day.....
then, at least, ask mom if it would be okay to drive instead of mom, and take your sister along with you. You pay for the gas, and maybe your sister can pitch in a few dollars each week.
i got a car for my 17th birthday and this year I'll be a senior in HS. My lil sis is 13, and she'll be an 8th grader this year (we go to the same school K12). anyway she asked me if she could ride in my car to school instead of being driven by our mom (MS and HS have a pretty significant divide between the buildings) because she didn't want to be "seen in a minivan"
it was very odd to me as my parents never tried to be cool or "become one of the teens".parents, what should I do? I haven't told my mom or dad yet. it is possible for me to let her off before i park in the student lot, but did not want to hurt my mom's feelings by telling her.
rgds
I don't think your mom's feelings will be hurt if you drive your sister. You do not have to say that it is because your sis does not want to be seen in a minivan or with her mom. You can simply propose it as an economical solution to getting two of you to and from school. It also gives your mom more time for whatever she needs to do in the morning.
The other option, of course, is if their is a school bus, your sis could take that.
I'm very fortunate in that I am cooler and funnier than many of my kids parents so if I ever get the "OMG mom you are so embarrassing!" I can say 'Just be grateful I'm not ____________'s Mom!"
My oldest has usually been sensitive to my feelings so if I was embarrassing her she kept it to herself. She is 18, and most of her friends adore me. My 14 year old is finally coming out of it...now she mostly just wants me to keep the car clean.
Hi all, My daughter is 12 and lately she says that I still treat her like she's 5 and that I try to be "cute and funny" in front of her friends and I am embarrassing my daughter. I don't know what she thinks I am doing "wrong", but I am thinking it is her age. I told her I understood and I must admit, I do try to be kinda "cool" and "funny" when her friends are around, so that they will think I am the "cool" mom, but it seems it is backfiring on me and I am just not sure what to do, if anything. Any advice from anyone out there?
Thanks!
She's 12- she's supposed to think you're weird. If she's an average healthy kid, expect it to continue for a few years. Fade into the background a little, but let her know you're always there for her. But if you continue trying to be 'cool,' don't be surprised if she approaches you with "Hey Mom, let's go downtown and get some tattoos!"
And then the "mistaking you for an ATM" will begin.
That made me laugh!
The ATM machine. When my three sons came of that stage every week I would go to the bank and be sure to get 12 five dollar bills. I never wanted to get caught with just having a $20 bill. Handing over a five dollar bill is okay, having to hand over a twenty dollar bill because that is all you have is not good!
To the OP just be yourself. Always have snacks around and be willing to buy a pizza.
Years after my son graduated his friend went up to see him in NYC. Before he left he came by our house to get something from me to take to my son. Days later my son said, "Dan still thinks you and Dad are cool parents". I felt like I won the lottery!
I think it's normal. Just be yourself. You're a cool mom.
I was SOOO uncool until my son wanted me to get him and his friends out to the flight line to climb on military airplanes. OH! Who's the cool mom NOW? Once home, back to being uncool.
My kid is only 11, but I do not in any way try to impress his friends. I don't really care what his friends think of me. The only kid whose opinion of me is at all important is my son. And he's not always pleased with what I do, but overall, he likes me. (And he loves me.) I have no idea what his friends think of me, nor do I care.
These are middle school aged girls. Generally speaking, the absolute worst thing you can do if you want their respect is to try to patronize them or seek their approval. *Especially* if there is a group of them (3 or more).
You don't have to condescend to them, but let your attitude, and your knowledge/experience/gravitas as an adult speak for itself. Your own relationship with your own daughter will have a larger influence on the opinion these girls have of you as a parent than anything you say or do.
Kudos for trying to be nice to these kids, but its probably a fool's errand. If they are your daughter's friends then it would make more sense to chat them up and pump them for information to find out what kind of people they are (and what your daughter might be like when you aren't around).
Even celebrities and star pro athletes' daughters think the same. It is just a phase.
Last edited by frankrj; 08-13-2015 at 07:23 AM..
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If she's an average healthy kid, expect it to continue for a few years. Fade into the background a little, but let her know you're always there for her. But if you continue trying to be 'cool,' don't be surprised if she approaches you with "Hey Mom, let's go downtown and get some tattoos!" 
Once home, back to being uncool.
