Why do the irresponsible parents tend to have the most kids? (custody, legal)
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This is a "duh" question, but seriouly dont they have any sense of consciousness of bringing another human being into this world to suffer? Do they even have a limit or are they categorized as "breeders?" Dont get me wrong, I am not against large families, if you are capable of giving your kids a loving home, I am just calling out those who are incapable of providing that and shouldnt be having kids in the first place.
I just found out my adoptive sister (we lived in the same house as kids) is 15 weeks pregnant. I seriously, like literally rolled my eyes. She already has 6 kids, one of them she completely abandoned (he lives with his dad and she hasnt seen him in at least 2 years despite how much he yearns for her), she currently has 4 kids who lives with her. She is on welfare. She gets $500+ in foodstamps, but she doesnt buy food for her kids! The husband and her eat lavishly (steaks, lobsters) while the kids eat plain white rice, with soy sauce. Its not "rumour has it", I've actually witnessed what the kids eat with my own eyes. One time my mom was with me and one of the kids called her said she was hungry.
She uses corporal punishment with her kids, and not just a spank in the butt, but aggressively. They are so misbehaved because she doesnt teach them manners, she just hits them when they are bad without teaching them right from wrong. She spends her free time going to parties, clubbing, and getting drunk (and getting a hangover the next day).
The kids are so dirty that even I, as a so called "aunt" hesitate to pick them up. She leaves the 1.5 year old in a filthy dirty for God knows how long. Her kids are always asking where their parents are and one of them cried tears of agony asking why her mom is always leaving her "does she not love me?" and this is from a 4 year old. Her kids are scared of her, and love her at the same time. Its kind of a love/hate relationship.
It just saddens me that she has the nerve to bring ANOTHER innocent child into this world. Like seriously, how many is she gonna have? She hasnt told anyone yet ( I learned it from my bio mom) not even her husband because I guess she kinda has a feeling that she is over the limit. Her friends on facebook makes sarcastic comments towards her after she had her 4th.
She gets baby fever, I have no idea how someone like her could have baby fever, but once they are passed newborn phase she neglects them just like her other children.
My heart is seriously aching for the unborn child and his/her siblings. I hope she comes to her senses after this and put a stop to this.
You, having witnessed all these things, have an obligation to call CPS and report her, for the sake of the kids. The "corporal punishment" and having them be filthy are the most worrying.
I teach and if I ever found out parents were treating a child(or in this case, multiple children) like that, I would be required to report it.
As for the original post, it seems to me that many women who are, really, unfit to parent. Enjoy the attention(positive and negative) they get while pregnant and while the child is still a baby.
You, having witnessed all these things, have an obligation to call CPS and report her, for the sake of the kids. The "corporal punishment" and having them be filthy are the most worrying.
I teach and if I ever found out parents were treating a child(or in this case, multiple children) like that, I would be required to report it.
As for the original post, it seems to me that many women who are, really, unfit to parent. Enjoy the attention(positive and negative) they get while pregnant and while the child is still a baby.
I dont know if I can report the corporal punishment thing since its still legal to use it on your kids? As for the filthiness, her house is clean the ones who are older (and out of diapers) wears old clothes, and has messy hair. The one in diapers doesnt get them changed until someone changes it (my mom)...but again, she provides them with the bare minimum to not get into trouble.
Once they go to school, the teachers will notice if they are always dirty and wearing clothes that are in bad shape. Usually the school has a social worker who will try to help the parents if it's just that they can't afford clothes (we used to take all of our outgrown kid clothes to the school social worker so she could give them to someone in need, and most of the other moms did the same).
The food situation will improve once the kids go to school too, because if you get food stamps, then your kids get free breakfast and lunch. I've known people who didn't really bother feeding their kids and the kids will end up having a growth spurt a month after school starts.
As far as corporal punishment goes, there's a difference between a swat on the butt and things that leave bruises. Hitting on the face or hitting with objects is generally considered to be crossing the line from corporal punishment to abuse.
And why irresponsible people have babies? It takes effort to prevent a pregnancy, and some people just can't seem to plan well enough to avoid one. Also, for a woman who's really poor, Medicaid will cover the pregnancy and several months after, which means you get health coverage for a year...maybe that's less of an incentive now that more people are able to get insurance, I don't know.
I have a friend who swears her niece is basically a crazy cat lady, except she collects children instead of cats. All kidding aside, she may have a point.
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lol...i knew it would be a "duh" question. Was waiting for one of these replies.
Hedgehog_mom - I think a pregnancy can be fully prevented, the most simple being condoms. I was on the pill until we were ready to have our first. I dont believe people who cant provide for their kids on their own, and have the intention of using the welfare for as long as they can, should have kids in the first place. She once told me "the poor people in the US are usually the ones with the most benefits, you wont die from being poor, the government raises your kids" like seriously? Just based on that alone, I know that she is planning on staying in her current situation.
Her kids dont know what the outside world is like, she's never taken them anywhere, and they are mostly stuck in the house. That to me is neglect.
How in the world does a bad parent think they are good parents? I just dont know the psychology behind this. I mean, I am a decent parent but I KNOW and admit there are things I need to improve on as a parent.
I guess, whenever I see people who leech off the welfare system and PLAN to have as many kids as they do because they know they wont "starve" disgusts me. Temporary assistance during times of need is understandable, but abusing it is another problem.
If this story is true, get off C-D and call CPS. They will send someone to investigate your adoptive sister. If she is beating the children hard enough to leave bruises, this could be considered a form of child abuse. They will check out the condition of the children and the apartment and make changes if necessary.
If there are any children older than the 4 year old in her custody, they should be in school where school officials can make a call to the appropriate agency.
I didn't know that you could use food stamps to buy steak and lobster (the sister and her husband eat that way every week?). Are those on the approved food list or are they pulling a fast one?
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