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I think you answer you know the answer to your own question--irresponsible people are irresponsible--but I'd disagree with the premise a bit. The biggest families I personally know are from religious couples where the mother stays home. They are almost always some of the MOST responsible parents I know. I know that it's popular to think these families always hide some horrible dark secret (like the Duggars) but I think that's the exception rather than the rule.
Thank you. This describes their situation. I cant wait for the kids to go the school. I suspect that the oldest has autism or something (not to sound mean). She turned 5 in April so will be starting kinder this year and does not know how to talk. She only says "mom" and a few other basic words. Aside from her own siblings, she will not interact with anyone outside the home. We had a birthday party for our oldest once and had all the kids come over and she just sat quietly in the corner. Her siblings dont have the problem though, they are glad to get out.
Everyone (including their friends) suggested speech therapy, but they insist that nothing is wrong. I wonder how she will communicate with the teacher and peers this fall.
And your description of how they cared for him couldnt be more accurate. Everything is done halfheartedly just so they dont get in trouble from authorities.
I predict that when a five year old child who only says "mom" and a few other words starts their first day of kindergarten the teacher will contact the principal/school psychologist/special education teacher the first day or first week to start a possible speech and language (or full special education) referral.
It is a real shame because all states provide free services for preschoolers with special educational needs. Your niece has lost out on years of free education and services. Many states even have free classroom programs, with free transportation, starting at age two. I believe that all states have free classroom programs, with free transportation, starting at age three (if the child meets the special educational qualifications).
Why didn't the pediatrician refer the child for services? Or didn't the parents ever take their children to the pediatrician for checkups?
I think you answer you know the answer to your own question--irresponsible people are irresponsible--but I'd disagree with the premise a bit. The biggest families I personally know are from religious couples where the mother stays home. They are almost always some of the MOST responsible parents I know. I know that it's popular to think these families always hide some horrible dark secret (like the Duggars) but I think that's the exception rather than the rule.
Its probably because the area I live in dont have many religious families, so I forgot about that for a bit. Most people I come across who have 5+ kids are irresponsible.
I predict that when a five year old child who only says "mom" and a few other words starts their first day of kindergarten the teacher will contact the principal/school psychologist/special education teacher the first day or first week to start a possible speech and language (or full special education) referral.
It is a real shame because all states provide free services for preschoolers with special educational needs. Your niece has lost out on years of free education and services. Many states even have free classroom programs, with free transportation, starting at age two. I believe that all states have free classroom programs, with free transportation, starting at age three (if the child meets the special educational qualifications).
Why didn't the pediatrician refer the child for services? Or didn't the parents ever take their children to the pediatrician for checkups?
I am not sure about the pediatrician's appointments, but isnt it mandatory? If it is, I doubt that she would avoid taking them. As mentioned, she would do what is "required" to not get into trouble, but wouldnt go above and beyond.
All her kids are eligible for wic, and they are currently giving vouchers for the farmer's market (which she would benefit greatly from). I was on wic with my first kid and they provided awesome nutrition. I told her that she should apply for wic to get free milk for the kids. The kids have ran out of milk before and instead of go buying milk for them, she just knocked on the neihbors door and asked if they could give her a cup of milk. Her response was "I dont wan to put in the time to sit at those follow up appointment". Wic requires that parents show up every 2-3 months for weight check ups and to talk about how the kids are growing, she doesnt want to be bothered by that.
Her kids dont speak english though because she speaks to them in Vietnamese. My 4 year old talks A LOT (in native language of course) but my 5 year old doesnt say anything.
Which leads me to another side question...I will be sending my oldest to preschool next year (I am not ready to let him go yet this year since he'll be turning 3 AFTER the registration deadline) but my husband and I speak to him in our native language. The words that he knows are mostly in our native language (except for apple, orange, cookie, bus, m&m - the candy, yes, no, stop, he sings the full abc song in english, and can count some numbers, and identify some colors, possibly some other words I dont recall atm). He was born 2 months early, so I am pretty sure that contributes to his delay. He says words but not phrases or sentences yet. When I took him to the ped's last year, they said that they'll give him until 3 to see how he does because speech therapy is in english so they dotn know how that would help him if we speak in a different language at home.
If he does end up speaking fully by the time he enters pre school - but it's still in his native language, would this be a concern for the teachers or will he gradually adapt? He may not understand what they will be saying in english at first, but if they use gestures he'll probably get it. Or should I just start speaking to him in English more? Thanks
I am not sure about the pediatrician's appointments, but isnt it mandatory? If it is, I doubt that she would avoid taking them. As mentioned, she would do what is "required" to not get into trouble, but wouldnt go above and beyond.
All her kids are eligible for wic, and they are currently giving vouchers for the farmer's market (which she would benefit greatly from). I was on wic with my first kid and they provided awesome nutrition. I told her that she should apply for wic to get free milk for the kids. The kids have ran out of milk before and instead of go buying milk for them, she just knocked on the neihbors door and asked if they could give her a cup of milk. Her response was "I dont wan to put in the time to sit at those follow up appointment". Wic requires that parents show up every 2-3 months for weight check ups and to talk about how the kids are growing, she doesnt want to be bothered by that.
Her kids dont speak english though because she speaks to them in Vietnamese. My 4 year old talks A LOT (in native language of course) but my 5 year old doesnt say anything.
Which leads me to another side question...I will be sending my oldest to preschool next year (I am not ready to let him go yet this year since he'll be turning 3 AFTER the registration deadline) but my husband and I speak to him in our native language. The words that he knows are mostly in our native language (except for apple, orange, cookie, bus, m&m - the candy, yes, no, stop, he sings the full abc song in english, and can count some numbers, and identify some colors, possibly some other words I dont recall atm). He was born 2 months early, so I am pretty sure that contributes to his delay. He says words but not phrases or sentences yet. When I took him to the ped's last year, they said that they'll give him until 3 to see how he does because speech therapy is in english so they dotn know how that would help him if we speak in a different language at home.
If he does end up speaking fully by the time he enters pre school - but it's still in his native language, would this be a concern for the teachers or will he gradually adapt? He may not understand what they will be saying in english at first, but if they use gestures he'll probably get it. Or should I just start speaking to him in English more? Thanks
In my state (and I'm guessing, most states), if a child is referred for speech and language therapy they are tested in the native language and must qualify in that language. I have had several students who only spoke, and whose parents, only spoke another language (Spanish) when they started in my classroom on their third birthday. They were in my early childhood special education classroom, where everything was in English, and in speech and language therapy, where everything was in English, and very, very quickly picked up the language and the delays were remediated in their native language as well (articulation of sounds, limited language understanding). When I taught in a Birth to Three Year Old Special Education program I had several children who were only two who qualified (in their native language) and also quickly picked up English.
Do you think that your child may have a speech and language delay or speech and language problems in Vietnamese? If yes, any preschool age child can be referred for testing, you do not have to wait until they are three years old.
Now a child with normal intelligence and no delays will very, very quickly pick up the language used in the classroom. I am sure that your child hears English on a regular basis, neighbors talking, people at the grocery store, Sesame Street on TV, preschool story time at the library, when you talk to other parents and children at the park, etc. IMHO, that usually is sufficient to make the transition to school fairly easy. However, not all day care center or preschool teachers are trained to help a child speaking another language to adjust well. You may want to make sure that your child can say and understand important school phrases such as "May I go to the bathroom?", "I'm sick", "I need help", etc. In addition, practice words for snack, lining up, taking turns, introducing yourself, recess, play time and things like that.
What irks me about this original post is that it is based on alot of ugly assumptions about "most people". It just isn't a fair assumption. And it seems to come down to the OP disliking her sister.
As for the language thing...I think that needs to be its own thread. It was answered well but its a very valid and interesting question
What irks me about this original post is that it is based on alot of ugly assumptions about "most people". It just isn't a fair assumption. And it seems to come down to the OP disliking her sister.
As for the language thing...I think that needs to be its own thread. It was answered well but its a very valid and interesting question
I had no intention of offending anyone, but like I said, the people that I see on a daily basis who have the most children tend to be irresponsible. Guess I was speaking from a personal standpoint and not putting the rest of the world into consideration.
Sorry if I offended anyone especially the religious families (who I know does an awesome job of raising their large families).
In my state (and I'm guessing, most states), if a child is referred for speech and language therapy they are tested in the native language and must qualify in that language. I have had several students who only spoke, and whose parents, only spoke another language (Spanish) when they started in my classroom on their third birthday. They were in my early childhood special education classroom, where everything was in English, and in speech and language therapy, where everything was in English, and very, very quickly picked up the language and the delays were remediated in their native language as well (articulation of sounds, limited language understanding). When I taught in a Birth to Three Year Old Special Education program I had several children who were only two who qualified (in their native language) and also quickly picked up English.
Do you think that your child may have a speech and language delay or speech and language problems in Vietnamese? If yes, any preschool age child can be referred for testing, you do not have to wait until they are three years old.
Now a child with normal intelligence and no delays will very, very quickly pick up the language used in the classroom. I am sure that your child hears English on a regular basis, neighbors talking, people at the grocery store, Sesame Street on TV, preschool story time at the library, when you talk to other parents and children at the park, etc. IMHO, that usually is sufficient to make the transition to school fairly easy. However, not all day care center or preschool teachers are trained to help a child speaking another language to adjust well. You may want to make sure that your child can say and understand important school phrases such as "May I go to the bathroom?", "I'm sick", "I need help", etc. In addition, practice words for snack, lining up, taking turns, introducing yourself, recess, play time and things like that.
We have a board book title "baby's first words" and there's like 20 pictures in there. He's able to identify 90% of those pictures...in vietnamese of course. I speak to him in Vietnamese because a lot of kids I know who were born here completely forget their native language. I dont want that to happen to my kids because I feel that being bilingual will be an advantage for him (I landed a great interpretation job due to being bilingual).
My half siblings (sorry for labeling again, but it pertains to the story) were raised by my biological mom and stepdad. I was raised by my adopted parents. My adopted parents spoke 0 english so I had no other choice but to speak vietnamese around them. I soon picked up english very well, but when I got to 5th grade, they did an english proficiency test and there were some pictures that I didnt know in english, such as a magnet. I spoke english fluently and it didnt hinder me from communicating with my teachers and peers on a daily basis, so in the end they didnt put me in the special education class. My half siblings barely speak vietnamese now and stutter when grandparents try to talk to them.
I remember my first day of kindergarten and I understood my teachers quite well (thanks to my sister, and may I use the term "adopted" again for the sake of clarification since I have so many siblings). My sister was 9 years ahead of me, so by the time I went to kindergarten, she was already speaking english to me, so I experienced both worlds from my parents and sister.
I am more concerned for my first kid as opposed to my second kid, because I know by the time the second goes to school, he'll be coming home and coversing to his older brother in english. The oldest kid always leads the way for their younger kids, but they are also the first to experience language barriers.
He learns most of the english words from watching youtube though (mother goose club, nursery rhymes etc).
Have you seen kids being picked on by their classmates for not speaking fluently in english (kindergartners or 1st graders)? My biggest fear is he getting bullied for being different, although I know he will probably overcome the language barrier as he adapts. I am really protective, but I know I cant keep him by my side forever. I want him to go out and explore the world, but also nervous for him.
In regards to the question about whether or not he has a speech delay...I hate to say this but I think yes. He's not completely quiet, he speaks but only uses one word, and still in the mimicking phase (he repeats after me).
For example, if I ask him "do you want to eat rice?" he'll repeat "eat rice". If he finds that his brother's foot is stuck between the wood posts of the crib he'll run to me and say "stuck". He's sitting right next to me right now and repeatedly saying "ok" because he's hearing some guy saying it on youtube.
Last edited by conlainhothuong; 08-23-2015 at 05:03 PM..
We have a board book title "baby's first words" and there's like 20 pictures in there. He's able to identify 90% of those pictures...in vietnamese of course. I speak to him in Vietnamese because a lot of kids I know who were born here completely forget their native language. I dont want that to happen to my kids because I feel that being bilingual will be an advantage for him (I landed a great interpretation job due to being bilingual).
My half siblings (sorry for labeling again, but it pertains to the story) were raised by my biological mom and stepdad. I was raised by my adopted parents. My adopted parents spoke 0 english so I had no other choice but to speak vietnamese around them. I soon picked up english very well, but when I got to 5th grade, they did an english proficiency test and there were some pictures that I didnt know in english, such as a magnet. I spoke english fluently and it didnt hinder me from communicating with my teachers and peers on a daily basis, so in the end they didnt put me in the special education class. My half siblings barely speak vietnamese now and stutter when grandparents try to talk to them.
I remember my first day of kindergarten and I understood my teachers quite well (thanks to my sister, and may I use the term "adopted" again for the sake of clarification since I have so many siblings). My sister was 9 years ahead of me, so by the time I went to kindergarten, she was already speaking english to me, so I experienced both worlds from my parents and sister.
I am more concerned for my first kid as opposed to my second kid, because I know by the time the second goes to school, he'll be coming home and coversing to his older brother in english. The oldest kid always leads the way for their younger kids, but they are also the first to experience language barriers.
He learns most of the english words from watching youtube though (mother goose club, nursery rhymes etc).
Have you seen kids being picked on by their classmates for not speaking fluently in english (kindergartners or 1st graders)? My biggest fear is he getting bullied for being different, although I know he will probably overcome the language barrier as he adapts. I am really protective, but I know I cant keep him by my side forever. I want him to go out and explore the world, but also nervous for him.
In regards to the question about whether or not he has a speech delay...I hate to say this but I think yes. He's not completely quiet, he speaks but only uses one word, and still in the mimicking phase (he repeats after me).
For example, if I ask him "do you want to eat rice?" he'll repeat "eat rice". If he finds that his brother's foot is stuck between the wood posts of the crib he'll run to me and say "stuck". He's sitting right next to me right now and repeatedly saying "ok" because he's hearing some guy saying it on youtube.
How old is your child? Most children make tremendous gains in language from 24 months to 36 months. If he is a young two, his language may be perfectly normal. Even if he is older his language still may be normal. There is a huge range that is still within normal development.
If you are truly concerned about your child having a speech and language delay, either go to the nearest school and ask to speak to someone about where to have him tested at his age (they probably will send you someplace else- a birth to three facility- since he is not yet three) or ask your pediatrician for a referral. At least in my state, it is the responsibility of the agency or school to find a person who is qualified to assess speech and language in the child's native language (in your case Vietnamese). Before that they may just ask many questions of you regarding your child's language and perhaps a full evaluation may not be needed if it is determined that he is progressing normally.
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-23-2015 at 06:33 PM..
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