Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I find it strange, and would never do it, but the idea that is sexual is just ridiculous.
Really?
Perhaps because discussion of such issues is so taboo the information bias you have has led you to that opinion. Its equally justified to say that "the idea there is no sexual component to the odd practice of kissing your child on the lips is ...ridiculous."
Familial love, with kissing on the cheek etc, is quite distinct from the romantic/sexual love in lip kissing. Do you think its ok to hold your daughter's butt - or just her hand? Yea - thought so.
I agree. Lips are sensual in nature. I didn't allow it with my kids. They got a kiss on the forehead. Of course, a lot of stuff goes on in other families that would never be allowed in mind. I've seen "things" between family members............
Also, this passing the poor kids around to let friends and relatives hug and kiss when the kids are uncomfortable with it has always seemed wrong to me. Everyone has a personal space that they have a right to maintain as they see fit and parents have no right to loan their kids out for someone needing affection when the child just isn't feeling like it.
So, yes, weird and creepy to me.
Kids shouldn't be passed around all the relatives and that's not the discussion here. Were talking immediate family. Don't know what you saw in your family but didn't see weirdos in mine. The topic was your mouth being a sex organ and it probably is in many homes that's what got peoplle running down the wrong track. Hope to hell no one gets on here to claim your eyes or ears are also sex organs or dozens of us will bail for sure.Bunch of nasty minded people on here and you can count the idiot Dr who came up with that crap to take first place.
Really?
Perhaps because discussion of such issues is so taboo the information bias you have has led you to that opinion. Its equally justified to say that "the idea there is no sexual component to the odd practice of kissing your child on the lips is ...ridiculous."
Familial love, with kissing on the cheek etc, is quite distinct from the romantic/sexual love in lip kissing. Do you think its ok to hold your daughter's butt - or just her hand? Yea - thought so.
Except lip kissing isn't seen as univerally and solely the provence of romantic love or an expression of sexual interest.
Exactly the same way slapping someone on the butt isn't always sexual. Unless you think baseball players are all putting the moves on their teammate who just hit the homerun?
Kissing kids on the lips is how kids get oral herpes aka "cold sores". It shouldn't be done.
You may not believe this but I've never had a cold sore, my kids have never had a cold sore, and my grandkids have never had one to my knowledge either. Maybe we just have some sort of familial high resistance to them, I don't know.
We kiss kids on the lips in our family till they are about 4 or 5 I guess. I never really thought about when we stop - I just know that when they are little they get some lip kisses and when they're older they don't. No one has ever made a big deal out of it one way or the other.
Of course we also kiss them on the cheek or forehead. Sometimes all three in one big kiss fest!
When I was a child the only person who ever insisted I kiss her on the lips was my maternal Grandmother. Not even my parents did it to my knowledge, maybe they did when I was a baby but I doubt it. This was a grandma I saw as often as 4 times a week when school was out. I always thought it was weird, even going as far as to avoid Grandma at goodbye times (going into the bathroom, ect.) when she would ask for her kiss and hug goodbye or my mother would cajole me to her so she could get her "due." She caught on to it and would say things like 'I'm leaving now and you don't have to say goodbye.' Passive aggressive guilt trips were her specialty, when really all it was, was just didn't want to kiss her lips. I'm 30 now and to this day when I say goodbye (I have since stopped avoiding it) and when I try and go for the cheek she always turns her head in a way that meets my lips, it's very weird. Some of my taller cousins have devised a strategy to kiss her forehead but alas I am too short for that. My poor grandmother did have a very bad childhood that I only just learned about that explains this behavior of hers and many others, basically a perception of what is an okay family boundary, so it explains a lot. No other boundaries were crossed by the way just odd lip kissing all the time.
Because of this I plan on teaching my children that lip kissing is reserved for romantic love only. When I was a child I honestly feel like I could have been a prime target for a predator if the conditions were right due to insistence that Grandma got her due and I had to respect my elders at all costs. I also think children should not have to be pushed to hug and kiss relatives. It should be encouraged if you love that relative, but not pushed in away that makes it seem like a god given right.
When I was a child the only person who ever insisted I kiss her on the lips was my maternal Grandmother. Not even my parents did it to my knowledge, maybe they did when I was a baby but I doubt it. This was a grandma I saw as often as 4 times a week when school was out. I always thought it was weird, even going as far as to avoid Grandma at goodbye times (going into the bathroom, ect.) when she would ask for her kiss and hug goodbye or my mother would cajole me to her so she could get her "due." She caught on to it and would say things like 'I'm leaving now and you don't have to say goodbye.' Passive aggressive guilt trips were her specialty, when really all it was, was just didn't want to kiss her lips. I'm 30 now and to this day when I say goodbye (I have since stopped avoiding it) and when I try and go for the cheek she always turns her head in a way that meets my lips, it's very weird. Some of my taller cousins have devised a strategy to kiss her forehead but alas I am too short for that. My poor grandmother did have a very bad childhood that I only just learned about that explains this behavior of hers and many others, basically a perception of what is an okay family boundary, so it explains a lot. No other boundaries were crossed by the way just odd lip kissing all the time.
Because of this I plan on teaching my children that lip kissing is reserved for romantic love only. When I was a child I honestly feel like I could have been a prime target for a predator if the conditions were right due to insistence that Grandma got her due and I had to respect my elders at all costs. I also think children should not have to be pushed to hug and kiss relatives. It should be encouraged if you love that relative, but not pushed in away that makes it seem like a god given right.
That actually has nothing to do with kissing on the lips. Many people feel the same when demanded to give hugs and kisses on the cheeks. Good that you won't force a child to participate in affection they are not comfortable with, but that uncomfortable feeling is not limited to kissing on the lips.
Kissing on the head or the cheek is OK, but kissing (your child) on the mouth is taking it a little too far, I have to agree. That kind of kiss should *only* be reserved for the one you really love.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
