U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-07-2018, 09:59 PM
 
35,107 posts, read 42,926,406 times
Reputation: 62211

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesmom View Post
Really amazes me what people have read into my post. Talk about an ocassionally spontaneous hug, and this has been twisted into “constantly” and other unrelated comments. I am married have three dogs so I am not short of affection by any means. I think it’s very sad how people think affection is bad and how some people have had such affection deprived childhoods. Sorry some think wanting to give a hug once in a blue moon is “too involved”. Don’t know about your upbringing or how your family shows live, if at all, but in my experience giving a hug to someone you love is quite normal. Not talking daily, weekly or monthly folks... once in a blue moon.
My childhood was quite affectionate but I do not like to be hugged or touched out of the blue.
This got worse after the stroke in 2015 when I had no control over who touched me in the hours/days after the stroke with all the medical personnel, police, doctors, nurses, lab people, mri people, other test people.
Almost 3 years later it still startles me and makes me very uncomfortable when someone wants to hug or touch me.
Some people are not huggers/touchers, no matter their level of childhood affection.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-11-2018, 09:59 AM
 
134 posts, read 190,705 times
Reputation: 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Well, I sort of disagree with you. Some mothers are excessive huggers and some adult children are reluctant huggers. Just because a son does not want to hug his mom multiple times a day does not mean that he is being a "selfish ass". Now, if his mom is upset because she lost her job or her best friend died or she was diagnosed with cancer and wants a hug and her son refuses to hug her then he may be a selfish ass.
Wait... I never said multiple times a day! I wouldn’t want to be hugged that often by anyone. See, this is the problem with these postings. People tend to exaggerate and can be quite cruel. Posted this three years ago and totally forgot about it till someone emailed me wanting to know how things were and that she experienced the same sadness. Some people do care and don’t read more into a conversation than is there, but not often.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-21-2018, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Southern California
27,945 posts, read 10,485,004 times
Reputation: 17819
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesmom View Post
Wait... I never said multiple times a day! I wouldn’t want to be hugged that often by anyone. See, this is the problem with these postings. People tend to exaggerate and can be quite cruel. Posted this three years ago and totally forgot about it till someone emailed me wanting to know how things were and that she experienced the same sadness. Some people do care and don’t read more into a conversation than is there, but not often.
Boy, I agree on people changing poster's words etc...it happens to me more than I care to say. They don't read, read too fast etc. One word can change the whole meaning.

My grandson is 18 and has a hard time hugging me, how he is with his mom I don't know. Seeing him raised he didn't get a lot of affection from dad, mostly criticism. Sad but that's how it goes in many families. The dad died at 55 so he's gone from their life....probably some joys and sorrows there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2020, 12:57 PM
 
134 posts, read 190,705 times
Reputation: 111
Update from original poster*****
My son is no longer a teen but a 27 year old man. With age and maturity, and smart girlfriends, he now tells me he loves me every time we talk. He has been out of our house for two years and the biggest change is how much he appreciates how I have always been there for him and can express his love more fully now both physically and verbally. He calls once a week and we text about nonsense daily. Close to his girlfriend as well. Life is good.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2020, 01:27 PM
 
8,364 posts, read 2,398,425 times
Reputation: 7246
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesmom View Post
Update from original poster*****
My son is no longer a teen but a 27 year old man. With age and maturity, and smart girlfriends, he now tells me he loves me every time we talk. He has been out of our house for two years and the biggest change is how much he appreciates how I have always been there for him and can express his love more fully now both physically and verbally. He calls once a week and we text about nonsense daily. Close to his girlfriend as well. Life is good.
That's nice. Thanks for updating.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2020, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,895 posts, read 47,166,825 times
Reputation: 95813
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesmom View Post
Update from original poster*****
My son is no longer a teen but a 27 year old man. With age and maturity, and smart girlfriends, he now tells me he loves me every time we talk. He has been out of our house for two years and the biggest change is how much he appreciates how I have always been there for him and can express his love more fully now both physically and verbally. He calls once a week and we text about nonsense daily. Close to his girlfriend as well. Life is good.
Yay!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,318 posts, read 863,208 times
Reputation: 2268
Our grandson is autistic and hates too be hugged. I give him a virtual one. I was surprised the other day when we helped him get a car and he said could I give you a hug, he hugged us both. I know it took alot for him to do that. It no longer bothers me he cant hug, he is a good kid. He loves us checks on us daily.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA —> North Carolina in October
24,714 posts, read 35,202,950 times
Reputation: 34656
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesmom View Post
Update from original poster*****
My son is no longer a teen but a 27 year old man. With age and maturity, and smart girlfriends, he now tells me he loves me every time we talk. He has been out of our house for two years and the biggest change is how much he appreciates how I have always been there for him and can express his love more fully now both physically and verbally. He calls once a week and we text about nonsense daily. Close to his girlfriend as well. Life is good.
It sounds like your son was able to find space and that naturally alleviated the problem. As someone who was in his shoes, getting out of mom’s house naturally solved a lot of the issues we had. He probably feels like you are a trusted ally rather than just a parent, naturally that increased his warmth toward you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top