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Now, with littles of my own, I'm trying to determine the best way to deal with bullies when it happens.
Growing up, I was on both sides. Sometimes I was the bully and other times I was on the receiving end but since I was in the 'in' crowd, played football and baseball, was relatively popular (not bragging, it is what it is), the bullying I received was more like ribbing and it was never more than someone maybe a little bigger and stronger having some fun.
There was one time though that I backed down from a fight and my reaction to that situation still bothers me 25 years later.
Now, with littles of my own, I'm trying to determine the best way to deal with bullies when it happens.
Growing up, I was on both sides. Sometimes I was the bully and other times I was on the receiving end but since I was in the 'in' crowd, played football and baseball, was relatively popular (not bragging, it is what it is), the bullying I received was more like ribbing and it was never more than someone maybe a little bigger and stronger having some fun.
There was one time though that I backed down from a fight and my reaction to that situation still bothers me 25 years later.
So we either had to be one or the other??
Fortunately, I was never bullied, but I also didn't bully other kids.
I was bullied pretty badly in 8th grade. i think I said on another thread that i wouldn't go back to 8th grade if they paid me $100 million an hour to, it was so miserable. no friends the entire year, and kids would try to trick me to get me in trouble, etc...i was too frail to fight back.
luckily, for whatever reason, I didn't get bullied at all in high school.
I was always fat in school so I would always get messed with every year until I beat the kids messing with me bloody. after a couple fights you quit getting messed with. the school would always say their going to encourage the parents to press charges but I assume the parents knew their kid was in the wrong.
teachers would ALWAY look the other way even after telling them what was happening. the only time telling ever worked was when i told a principle that knew full well I was serious when I said she better take care of it before I do. that was only because I was on a teather at the time and didn't want a trip to juvi. I have found violance is the only way bullys learn. Its the only thing I was ever suspended for too, teaching bullys. bullys must not understand I was twice their weight and wasn't taught to cower down like the other fat kids.
Fortunately, I was never bullied, but I also didn't bully other kids.
No, but I was both.
Right or wrong, it's much better being the bully than the bullied. I know that sounds really bad and especially from a parent, but when I was a youngster, gradeschool, jr high, HS, my priorities were sports, girls, school, friends and being cool (in no particular order). I didn't realize the impact my actions could have on another person, it just wasn't part of my makeup.
Even to this day, I tell my young daughters that if a kid in school pushes you, it's OK to push back because if you don't that kid is going to realize you won't stand up for yourself. If you do push back and push back harder than they pushed you, they'll find another target. (my wife doesn't agree with my philosophy but I'm pretty firm on it.)
I don't think I was either. I feel bad when I hurt others feelings and would think about that a lot, so I didn't do it. I was pretty athletic, which helped, but I felt most comfortable with the less popular boys in school...although I mingled with everyone. I just didn't fit in with some of the more popular boys, I think because I was looking for more of an emotional connection and friendship, and I didn't get that from some of the tough guys.
Right or wrong, it's much better being the bully than the bullied. I know that sounds really bad and especially from a parent, but when I was a youngster, gradeschool, jr high, HS, my priorities were sports, girls, school, friends and being cool (in no particular order). I didn't realize the impact my actions could have on another person, it just wasn't part of my makeup.
It has nothing to do with makeup. It has to do with your rearing. I hope you don't do the same with your daughters.
Bullied. Almost every day all the way through school. Hated school every second of it.
What's the question?
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