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Aww, I'm so sorry. She sounds like she was a very loving wonderful mom. Your memories of her are telling you the right way to help raise the boys.
Yes, she was a wonderful mother, always available, always there for us and she was the one who really took care of us.
Besides, she was the only one who could put with my dad's BS. Not that he was bad for her or mistreated her but he's the "I'm always right" type so I don't know how she managed it for 39 years. Still, I must say I admire his dedication to her in her last months.
No, he never says anything in front of them. It's really awkward to watch him greet a 2 year old, barely a baby, with an handshake.
I think he's just a grumpy old guy but he's not ill intentioned. He just hasn't moved on with the times and treats the boys as his little recruits.
There's nothing wrong with your hugs and kisses and there's nothing wrong with his approach either. He's just loving them in his own way. Maybe it'll do the kids some good to have a little of both kinds of male influences in their lives.
I'm with you. Kids get to an age where they let you know when the affection is over. Your dad is way too rigid and if you say he's a homophobe he's gone over the top with it.
Yes, he hates homossexuals and goes on these big speeches about the gay lobby dominating the Western world and that guys who are into women being a dying species, etc, etc.
He can have the opinion he wants but I don't think kissing toddlers will make them gay.
The father of my oldest son stopped giving kisses when our son was very young, probably 2. I think it's a hang-up. The stupidest thing in the world. Not only that, a young child might take it as rejection by the strong male role models they look up to. Of course, in some cultures, friends greet each other with a kiss no matter the gender. I sorta like that!
You sound like a great Uncle. Please don't stop letting your nephews kiss & hug you. I'd be proud you're such a kid magnet, and know that you're another great male role model for these boys. I've never heard anyone say they had too much love as a kid. And if you continue this loving relationship with them, you'll be their confidant. That's what happened between me and my grand daughters, since I'm a kid "magnet" also. Even the 16 year old still hugs and kisses me and tells me all of her secrets.
Thank you. I try my best to be a good company for them and we've lots of fun together. I get on the floor and I'm their prisioner.
I had the same problem with my dad. He is gone now but he also had his hang ups about hugging or kissing me. I thought for years he didn't love me. Well what is a child supposed to think when he lavishes hugs and kisses on my sisters? They grew up in a different era. I tried to talk to him later in life but he wouldn't see my point of view. Too bad, my dad and I were never close. We never really felt comfortable in each other's company...
my brother doesn't have any problem with that as well.
That's all you need to know. Your brother is the kids' father, so what he (and his wife) say is how it goes. Your father's opinion is noted and filed away, to be safely ignored.
Of course there is not a problem with it. Nor will there a problem if in 30 years they still want to give their uncle a hug and a kiss. Showing love does not make one soft.
I agree with everyone that it's healthy. My Dad and I hugged and kissed publicly & privately when we saw each other, until I lost him several years ago. It was the same with my Mom, but even moreso.
Now I'm an Uncle and a kid magnet, and I'm passing it on.
Last edited by JMatl; 09-18-2015 at 09:49 PM..
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