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Originally Posted by no kudzu
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I didn't like "Truth # 9: The worst goal to have is popularity."
In middle school, you can be popular for being physically attractive, a good conversationalist, getting good grades, and being athletic. Outside of the 1st point, none of those things are damaging when you get older.
People that "run with the fast crowd in middle school" aren't popular. Kids think they are losers.
That's more a high school problem than a middle school problem.
I liked "Truth # 7: Show me your friends and I'll show you your future."
You can tell which kids are good people and which are bad just by having a 15-minute conversation with their friends.
I also didn't like "Truth # 6: Middle school is largely about conformity."
That is an oversimplification. Cliques of kids are about conformity to each other, but their shared goal is to stand out over their peers. Otherwise, middle school kids wouldn't take such risky behaviors when their peers are around.
I think this truth could have been better written to say: "Don't limit your friends by being part of a clique. Be friends with cliques who support your interests and if a clique tries to say you can only be part of their clique, leave them and make them watch you outperform them. Then, they will come back to you and accept you and all your interests."
I also didn't like "Truth # 5: Even the most driven kids will wind up on different paths from those they had originally envisioned."
That certainly isn't true. If you train to be an athlete for years and play that sport all through high school and college, even if you don't turn pro, you still played that sport for 10-15 years.
I think Truth # 4 is mostly useless for the intended age group.
While a sports team does not increase your self-worth, it does affect how other people treat you and the types of opportunities that are opened to you, which will usually affect the choices you make, which indirectly affects (either positively or negatively) your self-worth.
We can acknowledge that (in a vacuum) the kid's self-worth has not changed, but the kid isn't living in a vacuum, they are living in a school.
I also think Truth # 3 is mostly useless for the intended age group.
No 6th grader thinks: "The best applause to live for is the quiet peace inside you."
Your likes, comments, and shares are a quantifiable measure of your popularity relative to the number of friends/followers you have.
A famous celebrity might get a million likes on their profile, but might have 10 million followers, so they have 10% of their group liking their content. If a 6th grader only has 100 friends and 40 people like their content, then 40% of their group likes their content.
Of course, you have to taken into account that in a group of 10 million followers, there might be a lot of inactive accounts in that group that should not count in the overall subtotal. But even if you cut that subtotal in half, the celebrity still only has 20% of their group liking their content, so the kid is still more popular within their sphere of influence.
Truth #'s 2 and 1 might fail for a below average kid: "Do they recognize my talent and potential and encourage me, or do they drag me down by harping on where I fall short?"
If the kid is short in a lot of areas, it will seem like the person is "harping on where they fall short." But pretending that deficiencies are talent and encouraging those deficiencies is even more damaging.
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Freshman Advice Article
