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Okay, I'm new at this (son's not quite yet two, but has started full on tantrums). I've gotten down to his level and comforted him in the middle of tantrums. I tell him that it's okay to be frustrated, that mommy gets frustrated, but that we don't need to scream. Then I ask him if he'd like to do some fun thing he loves. At least half the time he calms down and says, "okay". It's the other 40% of the time that I'm at a total loss!
Okay, I'm new at this (son's not quite yet two, but has started full on tantrums). I've gotten down to his level and comforted him in the middle of tantrums. I tell him that it's okay to be frustrated, that mommy gets frustrated, but that we don't need to scream. Then I ask him if he'd like to do some fun thing he loves. At least half the time he calms down and says, "okay". It's the other 40% of the time that I'm at a total loss!
Consistency, consitency, consistency. Look at the bright side .... what you are doing is already working more than half the time!!! That's aces in my parenting book.
I don't have any experience with the terrible twos, but saw this post and thought that the website ParentsConnect might be helpful to you. It has advice and tons of resources that are separated by age group, and I'm sure you could find a few helpful tips. Good luck!
My mom gave me some great advice. She told me not to give into the mentality of the terrible two's...there is ALWAYS going to be some phase or another one's child is going through; some will be easier to endure than others. My mom has said she'd take the worst of worst days when we were toddlers if she didn't have to endure the teenage years when we got mouthy or watching her children get upset over friends leaving them out of things; not being liked by some boy or girl; struggling with being accepted & accepting who we were, etc.
Anyway, I have a 2 1/2 yr old who everyday gives me something new to laugh about & to cry about
I read an interesting article that said when they are driving you nuts, instead of saying so or telling them they are being difficult, tell them just how much you love them (i've said this with clenched teeth many a days).
The way you talk to your toddler & respond to your toddler's "tantrums" will be an indication of how they handle stress, fear, frustration, etc. And sometimes one's child is just being difficult. Plain & simple.
There is no perfect answer but every age brings a new challenge
Your mom is a very wise person. Though personally, I enjoyed the high school years. But yes, there is always a "phase". Remember this: this too shall pass. The question is "terrible twos", and really, I don't remember it all that much anymore. That is the beauty of parenting.
Time outs do work for us but I also find taking things away works just as well...I always give a stern warning. Not yelling but I inform them of the punishment that is going to happen with the next 'violation'...and if it does ALWAYS follow through with the said punishment. Empty consequences create bad behavior!! At this point my kids KNOW that I will follow through with whatever I said I would do. They stop doing whatever it is after the first warning...
That is what works for us...and it works well.
For example...My daughter wrote on her brand new jeans from the gap with a sharpie. I sent her to her room for a bit and told her if she did that agian, she would get into trouble. She can not write on her clothes. This is my 4 year old... So fast forward to today. In the car she had a pen and wrote all over her camel cords. This was her first time wearing them...We were on our way to her favorite place, the library. I told her since she did that we were not going and turned the car around and went home. It sucked. I was looking forward to going too but point is...follow through with consequences.
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I sent her to her room for a bit and told her if she did that agian, she would get into trouble. She can not write on her clothes. This is my 4 year old... So fast forward to today. In the car she had a pen and wrote all over her camel cords. This was her first time wearing them...We were on our way to her favorite place, the library. I told her since she did that we were not going and turned the car around and went home. It sucked. I was looking forward to going too but point is...follow through with consequences.
