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I'm new to posting in forums but I desperately need advice. My son has recently received his driver license. I'm so worried about him driving and I can't be with him all the time. Does anybody use any tracking devices to monitor your teens driving? What kind of a device do you recommend?
I recommend you don't. If you can't trust him to use the car per your rules...you don't let him usend it. And then ask yourself why you don't trust him.
A tracking devise isn't going to keep him safe....it just helps you not deal with the fact your child is growing up. This is the time to work on responbility and the consequences of not using common sense. It's not the time to put a baby monitor on him.
With respect.....I have to disagree with your assumption that they " will have an accident......"
I approach it from the other direction, everyone can learn how to avoid accidents, by being a defensive driver, from the very beginning of their training. Note that I said training, by a certified professional driver trainer.....not Mum or Dad.
That's what I was for 14 years, here in Toronto. I trained and evaluated hundreds of people who were hired by the City of Toronto, to drive their vehicles. Buses, dump trucks, fire trucks, garbage trucks, cars and vans and even motor scooters for the Parking Enforcement unit.
The basic concept is that with proper training and practical on the road experience and corrective measures, all adults can become safe drivers. Teenagers have the best reflexes , reaction times and muscle memory......what they don't have is common sense, or impulse control.
Jim B.
I agree with Jim. Once my sons each got their permits, every time we had to go somewhere, the permitted kid drove. Didn't matter what kind of road conditions - dry, wet, snowy. They drove always. I took them to empty snow covered parking lots and had them hit the brakes HARD to show them how the car reacted. I had them spin donuts on ice so they could steer out of the spin. They drove highways, city streets, gravel roads, everywhere, all the time. Each got their license at 16. Rules were no cell phones, no passengers for 6 months (except mom or brothers), and no iPod initially. Text when you get there and when you are leaving.
The result: 3 currently 20-something male licensed drivers. Zero accidents. Zero tickets.
OP, hopefully your son has had lots and lots of behind the wheel experience. If he's proven himself trustworthy in other areas, he will prove himself trustworthy in the car.
It's his friends you have to worry about, so severely limit the number of passengers. Zero cell phone usage while in the car.
I'm new to posting in forums but I desperately need advice. My son has recently received his driver license. I'm so worried about him driving and I can't be with him all the time. Does anybody use any tracking devices to monitor your teens driving? What kind of a device do you recommend?
Your son should not be driving a car alone unless he is 18 or older and bought it with money he earned all by himself, and is paying his own insurance with his own earned money. Driving a car is the leading cause of death of teenagers. Giving a teenager access to a car is irresponsible parenting. You should be scared stiff.
If you let your 16-18 year old drive without you in the car, you are a bad parent. It's that simple. Teenagers race and mishandle their own aggression. That is an absolute and unavoidable fact. And your boy WILL RACE at some point. Probably several times until he near-misses and scares himself poopless or in fact kills himself or cripples his body and his future. Count on it. We all did, and most, but not all, are LUCKY to still be here. And that is true even for the nerds and the scientist-kids. In fact, they are usually the worst.
You don't need tracking devices. They will only tell you where to find his mangled body when it's too late. You need to keep him off the road unless he is with you in the passenger seat until he is a fully functioning adult and earns and owns the financial privilege of automobile ownership and operation. It's called parenting.
Last edited by Marc Paolella; 10-05-2015 at 10:01 PM..
Your son should not be driving a car alone unless he is 18 or older and bought it with money he earned and is paying his own insurance with his own earned money. Driving a car is the leading cause of death of teenagers. Giving a teenager access to a car is irresponsible parenting. You should be scared stiff.
If you let your 16-18 year old drive without you in the car, you are a bad parent. It's that simple. Teenagers race and mishandle their own aggression. That is an absolute and unavoidable fact. And your boy WILL RACE at some point. Probably several times until he near-misses and scares himself poopless. Count on it. We all did, and most, but not all, are LUCKY to still be here.
Oh that is so many different ways wrong. Yes, beginning drivers have concerns...but no....tens will not always race, they do not have to be irresponsible....and it's quite possible for parents to teach proper driving and behavior.
Your son should not be driving a car alone unless he is 18 or older and bought it with money he earned all by himself, and is paying his own insurance with his own earned money. Driving a car is the leading cause of death of teenagers. Giving a teenager access to a car is irresponsible parenting. You should be scared stiff.
If you let your 16-18 year old drive without you in the car, you are a bad parent. It's that simple. Teenagers race and mishandle their own aggression. That is an absolute and unavoidable fact. And your boy WILL RACE at some point. Probably several times until he near-misses and scares himself poopless or in fact kills himself or cripples his body and his future. Count on it. We all did, and most, but not all, are LUCKY to still be here. And that is true even for the nerds and the scientist-kids. In fact, they are usually the worst.
You don't need tracking devices. They will only tell you where to find his mangled body when it's too late. You need to keep him off the road unless he is with you in the passenger seat until he is a fully functioning adult and earns and owns the financial privilege of automobile ownership and operation. It's called parenting.
You have no idea what you are talking about. If you're reaching back to your own youth, fine, say so. You have lots of advice on what parents should do, yet you aren't a parent, correct?
There are many valid reasons to give teens either their own cars, or access to the family car. Before and after school activities mean the bus schedule doesn't work. Parents have jobs, and so do many 16-18 yr olds. Not every school provides busing.
Giving them the keys means handing over the responsibility for their actions behind the wheel. My kids had no tickets, and no accidents, until this year, when one son hit a deer, on two separate occasions. Deer are everywhere here, and the roads are winding, and without shoulders. I think their track records are pretty good under the circumstances.
Oh that is so many different ways wrong. Yes, beginning drivers have concerns...but no....tens will not always race, they do not have to be irresponsible....and it's quite possible for parents to teach proper driving and behavior.
You can ignore the data, and roll the dice. It's a free country. But make no mistake, if you let your 16-17 year old drive a car alone, you are rolling the dice with the life, health, and future of your child. And that makes you a bad parent regardless of whether or not your bet gets paid off and you gamble for a win.
You have no idea what you are talking about. If you're reaching back to your own youth, fine, say so. You have lots of advice on what parents should do, yet you aren't a parent, correct?
There are many valid reasons to give teens either their own cars, or access to the family car. Before and after school activities mean the bus schedule doesn't work. Parents have jobs, and so do many 16-18 yr olds. Not every school provides busing.
Giving them the keys means handing over the responsibility for their actions behind the wheel. My kids had no tickets, and no accidents, until this year, when one son hit a deer, on two separate occasions. Deer are everywhere here, and the roads are winding, and without shoulders. I think their track records are pretty good under the circumstances.
You rolled the dice, and that's your choice. Basically you are saying it's OK to gamble with the life of your kid because it's inconvenient not to.
The data says you are wrong to do it. I am only pointing out the data.
And what did I do as a teenage driver? I raced and took out my immature aggression on those around me when they pissed me off. I got into one race with a Porsche 911 on Route 80 North near the turn towards Paterson. We reached 137 MPH before I had to slow down to make that turn, I probably has 10 near misses on that race alone, including driving on the shoulder. The turn came way too fast and I nearly turned my car over. That was my last race and the one that scared me out of my wits. My leg was shaking so bad I could not press the gas properly for the next 15 minutes.
ALL MY FRIENDS RACED AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. When a teenager gets cut off, they will typically RETALIATE AGGRESSIVELY. Especially guys, THEY WILL LOSE THEIR MINDS, but don't think girls don't do it also.
OP, you can listen to the bad parents and gamble. They protest because of their guilt. Or you can read the data and make a decision with your brain instead of your ego.
Here's the data your brain needs: BE CORRECT AND RATIONAL, NOT POPULAR:
You rolled the dice, and that's your choice. Basically you are saying it's OK to gamble with the life of your kid because it's inconvenient not to.
The data says you are wrong to do it. I am only pointing out the data.
And what did I do as a teenage driver? I raced and took out my immature aggression on those around me when they pissed me off. I got into one race with a Porsche 911 on Route 80 North near the turn towards Paterson. We reached 137 MPH before I had to slow down to make that turn, I probably has 10 near misses on that race alone, including driving on the shoulder. The turn came way too fast and I nearly turned my car over. That was my last race and the one that scared me out of my wits. My leg was shaking so bad I could not press the gas properly for the next 15 minutes.
ALL MY FRIENDS RACED AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. When a teenager gets cut off, they will typically RETALIATE AGGRESSIVELY. Especially guys, THEY WILL LOSE THEIR MINDS, but don't think girls don't do it also.
OP, you can listen to the bad parents and gamble. They protest because of their guilt. Or you can read the data and make a decision with your brain instead of your ego.
Here's the data your brain needs: BE CORRECT AND RATIONAL, NOT POPULAR:
Parents roll the dice every...single...day. Otherwise, we would never let our kids out of our sight. We do what we can to mitigate the danger. But we don't make our kids victims of our worries.
You were a hothead teen. My kids weren't, and it doesn't sound as though the OP's son is either. I wouldn't have given you my car keys, but I would give them to her son.
Is it really better to send kids off to college at 18 without knowing they can handle themselves behind the wheel? I don't think so.
Parents roll the dice every...single...day. Otherwise, we would never let our kids out of our sight. We do what we can to mitigate the danger. But we don't make our kids victims of our worries.
You were a hothead teen. My kids weren't, and it doesn't sound as though the OP's son is either. I wouldn't have given you my car keys, but I would give them to her son.
Is it really better to send kids off to college at 18 without knowing they can handle themselves behind the wheel? I don't think so.
No, I don't accept that. They don't roll the dice with their kids life every single day. Not gratuitously and callously and needlessly. Certain activities are notoriously responsible for destroying kids lives. One of them is driving alone before they are adults. It is easily avoided by not allowing it.
The data clearly shows that allowing your kids to drive alone and unattended when they are 16-18 and living as dependents is a bad gamble with catastrophic consequences for those that roll the dice and lose.
Anyway, no need to repeat myself any longer. That is my position and it is based on reality and data and I will not change my mind unless the data shows that teenagers are safe and responsible drivers. It doesn't, and it won't, because it can't.
My position is recorded and it's time to move on.
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