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Back to the OP's question, my kids are now young adults and seem to be fine people--not self-centered, etc. It would have been very easy for us to give them everything they wanted and raise a couple of spoiled entitled people.
We didn't want that of course. We consistently tried to make a connection between their actions and rewards. Getting to pick out a piece of candy at the grocery was because they behaved in the store. A parent paid trip to Europe was because they each had done outstanding work in college and high school. Little things and big things were connected to behavior and actions.
During the age where they rarely thought about others, I tried to turn it around on them and talk about feelings. If they were mean to each other, I asked how they thought it made the other feel. Developmentally they were not necessarily ready to do so, but it did make them think.
I agree with most of the others, that 7 is young to be overly concerned. Sports, and some other group activities, can be great eye-opening experiences for kids who haven't felt the sting of realization that they aren't better than their peers.
No....just no. I agree the OP is a bit much.....but this is pretty terrible advice. The oldest doesn't always get to choose what her siblings watch....having homework done first is what works for many families. You'd be surprised at lower elementary homework these days.....and many kids are natural dawdle-ers....especially if they don't feel they have much control over other things.
In pretty much every family that could only afford 1 TV growing up, the oldest sibling decided.
The order in which you do things doesn't affect the ability to complete both tasks, so you can easily watch the movie first.
We're talking about a 7-year old, who can't be higher than 2nd grade. I'm sure the most she gets a night is 2 hours.
This may seem old fashioned and maybe not something you care to do.
We took our kids to religious services every week and they were involved with scouts. They learned to respect others, work on projects to help others, be responsible, make good decisions, look at the big picture, be patient, recognize right and wrong, and learned useful skills.
I had a friend who was one of the top money people in San Francisco who used the Thanksgiving holiday to insist her kids go to a shelter to help feed the homeless.
That's so stupid. Homeless people create their own problems that make them that way.
In pretty much every family that could only afford 1 TV growing up, the oldest sibling decided.
The order in which you do things doesn't affect the ability to complete both tasks, so you can easily watch the movie first.
We're talking about a 7-year old, who can't be higher than 2nd grade. I'm sure the most she gets a night is 2 hours.
Gee, really? I was one of 7 kids. The oldest didn't make the rules, our parents did. Those rules included homework before tv, because I don't know too many rational families that allow children to dictate what and when they were going to do what had to be done. And, we all got turns at picking the tv program.
Gee, really? I was one of 7 kids. The oldest didn't make the rules, our parents did. Those rules included homework before tv, because I don't know too many rational families that allow children to dictate what and when they were going to do what had to be done. And, we all got turns at picking the tv program.
In the original post, the kids were arguing on who got to pick the movie. The parents are not in that example.
The oldest kid is the oldest of the people involved.
When you're older, you can't do homework before tv because you have too many hours, but 2nd graders homework is just finish a page of math problems.
Pay close attention to how you react to their protests, whining, tantrums, etc. If you find their displeasure with certain things causes a reaction in you that wants to do something to make things better for them, and you do so, you are contributing to making them feel entitled and that their happiness comes before everything else.
It's hard. As parents we want to make our children happy. But we have to be careful what message that sends. When you give a child something, the next time you have to outdo the last gift if you want to see joy from your child. Don't get caught in that trap. The more you make them earn what they get, the more they will work to get something better.
A child's happiness DOES come before everything.
The bolded part is only true for birthday parties.
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