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There are camps for kids with anger problems .It's no fun zone but for many kids it wakes them up. Do some research Meanwhile I'll try to remember the name of it.
My 15 year old son is getting to be too much. He is the most stubborn, hard to get along with human being I have ever encountered. He thinks the world is out to get him, he is never wrong, has attitude on top of attitude, curses over every little thing, majors on the minors, etc. I could go on and on. He is on a path of a future with severe adult unhappiness with no friends, no girlfriend, no money, no life and no relationship with his brother who is 12 now but once they move out, I see that as being the end of them. His brother is bordering on being the perfect kid. Anywya, his biggest problem is that he sees everything in life through his own eyes ONLY and never from anyone else's point of view. The idea of doing something nice and selfless for someone else does not occur to him. His attitude is always "me first, to hell with everyone else." I am really not exaggerating. The thought of letting his brother have the last cookie, the best chair, the front seat of the car just does not happen. He is all about himself 24/7. His rebellious attitude has me and his mom to the point of wanting to send him off somewhere.
You obviously harbor ill will to your eldest child, and you should be ashamed of yourself. Your kid is screaming for help because you think his kid brother is better than him!
He is who you have made him to be. He is willful and obstinate because at least he gets some attention that way.
He already hears about how great his brother is, why should the perfect little brat also get the last cookie or the last anything?
I feel so sorry for that kid. And here you are wanting a book.
I suggest you get therapy, and then use the book to smack yourself upside the head with.
I wondering if the 15 year old has always been home-schooled or if he was removed from public school at some time and if so, why he was removed?
I'm wondering what the OP wants the 15 year old to do. I guess if I didn't want him spending all of his time playing or with the game on his mind, I'd be looking for alternatives. I don't think the majority of 15 years olds spent a lot of time thinking about being nice to others, some yes but not the majority.
I remember my brother and my son at this age. Yes, they were both allowed to live but it was shakey for awhile. Could have went either way.
Also, is the younger son home-schooled. And, that almost perfect will have his day too.
Could the 15 year old do some sort of job part-time? Maybe volunteer somewhere? He needs something new and worthwhile to focus his attention on.
What exactly is your wife running him to if he has no friends? And how do you expect him to make some if he never leaves the yard? Plenty of kids manage to balance video games and a social life, so you need to look further. How much time do you spend with your son?
I never said my son has no friends. I said he has no friends in this neighborhood where he lives. Every time he made some in the past, they have soon moved because a lot of houses here are rentals so now he does not make the effort. My wife running him everywhere is the reason he has some friends that he occasionally sees at different functions and there is one family we go camping with that has one of his friends. I do not spend a lot of time with him because he does not want to do anything. Most Dads are turning down time spent with their son. With us, it is the opposite. He just has no motivation and zest for life. Only in the past year have I been able to get him to go to the park and shoot some basketball but that has taken a long time.
Send him to school! Unless it's truly dangerous for him, send him to your local public high school. How is he supposed to ever make his way in the world, if the only contact that he has with the world is controlled by his mother? He is obviously miserable. Give school a chance. Give him the chance to have a life of HIS choice, not the sheltered, parent-controlled world of the home-schooled.
Forgive my rudeness but you are wildly ignorant of the homeschooled child's lifestyle. My son will go to a government school on the 3rd of never but you simply have no idea what you are talking about. You are simply echoing what you have heard about homeschooled kids. Also, his mother does not control his contact with the world.
Most teenagers go through a stage where they feel like the world revolves around them and where they constantly question the parent's authority. Comparing the teen to the "perfect" younger sibling isn't fair, even if the comparison is kept to yourself. Right now my 10 year old is much easier to deal with than her 13 year old sister, but I know my 10 year old will eventually go through puberty and have those hormonal mood issues and teenage tantrums. I just try to love my kids, whatever stage they're at.
My kids go to online public school...basically homeschool but with a curriculum provided by one of the public school districts in our state. There are tons of homeschool groups and chances for interaction where we live. I take my kids to these things but my oldest will not join in. She sits and draws in her sketchbook. I don't push her to interact with other kids because that just makes her more uncomfortable. Does your son interact with the other kids when he goes to a group or an activity? Maybe finding some volunteer activities for him would help him think of others and make interacting with other kids seem less awkward, since they'd all be busy working.
Anyhow, most rebellious, grouchy, antisocial teenagers grow up to be happy and productive members of society. He's not destined to be alone or suicidal just because he reads fiction and plays video games. When he gets his first job or goes to college, he will meet plenty of people.
Meanwhile, does he have a phone? That's how most teenagers communicate, with different apps or text messaging. Even the homeschool teens will communicate with each other that way, so if you want him to have more interaction with his peers, getting him a cell phone might be a way to accomplish that.
Thanks. You made some good suggestions. We have thought about a phone for him. Some of his homeschooled friends have them so that could work. He does skype with some while playing his game. He has a channel on Youtube and wants to be a Youtube star. When we go to things, he does participate and seems to be happiest when he is with his friends. I think one problem is that he spends so much time with his brother that he does not have that best friend. He also got kicked out of his Boy Scout Troop last year and lost most his friends in one moment and he has been really burned about that and who could blame him? BTW, he did not get kicked out for doing anything wrong. He actually did something right and they did not like it because they were cutting corners, covering for a bully, etc. Honestly, he was like this before the Scout issue though.
Get him a book about Minecraft and/or the people who created it.
When I was his age I would only read books about baseball.
P.S. Try learning about Minecraft yourself. I have a 17 year old son. This past summer I went with him to Madison Square Garden to see a video game championship (League of Legends). I was amazed at how many young "coders and math majors" were in the crowd. So find out about Minecraft conventions near you and attend one with him. You'll be surprised how many kids his age are into it and how well he fits in.
Thanks and I used to read baseball books too as a kid! I still am kind of a walking encyclopedia. I have considered learning Minecraft but feel weird about it since I am pushing 50!
I wondering if the 15 year old has always been home-schooled or if he was removed from public school at some time and if so, why he was removed?
I'm wondering what the OP wants the 15 year old to do. I guess if I didn't want him spending all of his time playing or with the game on his mind, I'd be looking for alternatives. I don't think the majority of 15 years olds spent a lot of time thinking about being nice to others, some yes but not the majority.
I remember my brother and my son at this age. Yes, they were both allowed to live but it was shakey for awhile. Could have went either way.
Also, is the younger son home-schooled. And, that almost perfect will have his day too.
Could the 15 year old do some sort of job part-time? Maybe volunteer somewhere? He needs something new and worthwhile to focus his attention on.
Always has been homeschooled and his brother too. I plead with him regularly to find himself some other interest beside a game and reading fiction. He read the entire Little House series! He just won't do it. He is a terrible perfectionist and if he cannot be awesome at something immediately, he gives up immediately. He has worked for me here at home because I have an Ebay business. He just will not listen when I tell him he needs to concentrate hard on holding my camera still for taking pictures and he just quits on me so I don't ask him anymore. His lazy work ethic would not be tolerated by any employer on Earth right now. It could improve someday but for now, he would be fired halfway into his first day. He takes the path of least resistance all the time.
Someone mentioned about volunteering for something. He has done a little of that at the local animal shelter and likes it because of his love for cats (yes, cats).
Forgive my rudeness but you are wildly ignorant of the homeschooled child's lifestyle. My son will go to a government school on the 3rd of never but you simply have no idea what you are talking about. You are simply echoing what you have heard about homeschooled kids. Also, his mother does not control his contact with the world.
What a great example of an open minded parent. What are you afraid of happening at that "government school?"
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Could have went either way.
Never said that.
