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I'll try to keep this short, especially since I do not know every detail. Whatever facts I write is 2nd hand. And there is no money in the family - brother drives a truck and doesn't make enough, and his wife doesn't work (obese with medical issues).
My brother is in his second marriage. His wife has a daughter (call her K) from her first marriage (which was abusive to the daughter), and the daughter does suffer mentally. They also have a daughter of their own. The first daughter K is now 30, and just recently gave birth to a 2nd pair of twins. K also has a 6 y.o. daughter, making 5 kids in total. The oldest, and one each in the set of twins, has mental issues (one diagnosed with downs syndrome). The person (if I could call him that) who is the father of the 5 children also has mental issues, and I've met him and he is awful. The whole scenario looked like a time bomb years ago.
DSS had a case in Ohio with them. I heard he was abusive to the oldest daughter. Also heard the word neglect due to several issues. She left him and came back to MA with the 5 kids to live with my brother and her mother and sister, 9 in all in the house. My sister in laws mother was living there but was recently moved to a nursing home due to advanced Alzheimer's. The place in Ohio according to my brother looked nothing better than squalor when he went to take them back to MA. The house in MA, although better than OH, still was a complete pigs sty. Sets of twins were in portable cribs in dining and living room. Needless to say nothing even close to ideal.
DSS case in OH was never closed and followed them to MA. DSS came to their house a couple of times. One time when they came, one of the twins was in the kitchen in a high chair eating cereal and watching TV while K was caring for a twin in the other room, while the other 2 twins were napping and the oldest watching TV. The mother was out at the time. They called leaving the twin in the high chair neglect. They also came in at a time where the oldest soiled the bed and they didn't clean it up before DSS showed up. Neglect.
A few other tidbits - all the kids had lice in OH. Also bed bugs. Horribly dirty living conditions.
From what I've heard, and I believe, those kids are loved. Not sure if the family is capable of bringing up the kids in the household and economic situation.
A couple of days ago DSS came in and took a set of twins and K's oldest. The other set of twins recently birthed were still in the hospital. A day before yesterday's temporary custody hearing, DSS went to hospital and removed one twin (other still in for health reasons). All kids in foster care. They lost the hearing and all 5 kids are in foster care, and K has once a week visiting rights.
I may not be fond of my sister in law or K, but I am human. Whether K should have had more than 1 kid, if any at all, still doesn't change the fact that I feel bad. I cannot imagine this scenario playing out with my kids. Here is a mother and grandmother who's children whom they love has been taken away. When I said time bomb before, I am entirely not surprised this happened. But still, it sucks.
Wait a minute - how old are the younger set of twins? Your timeline doesn't make sense. First it appears that all five kids were in Ohio with their mother until recently, when they moved to Massachusetts to live with their grandparents and to escape an abusive situation. But then you state that "a couple of days ago", DSS took the older three children and the younger twins - "recently birthed" - were still in the hospital.
Which is it? Also, is the oldest child in school, and are the kids with special needs receiving therapy and special education?
From what I've heard, and I believe, those kids are loved. Not sure if the family is capable of bringing up the kids in the household and economic situation.
This is really the crux of the matter. Any parent could be overwhelmed with 5 kids, add special needs to the mix, and love is not enough. Those children need a clean stable home, and therapy, at least physical therapy. None of that comes cheap.
Kids won't be removed for being poor, but they can be for neglect. And there is a difference between poor and "dirty and unsanitary". From what you are saying the state has temporary custody, which starts off a year long process during which the parents will be provided a caseworker and given a chance to clean up whatever issues there are in order to get the children back. They will be provided services, if deemed necessary (parenting classes, therapy, job assistance, any number of things that are necessary to address the problems that led to the state's involvement).
The state doesn't want to keep children from parents, and will absolutely work to try and reunite families, but the parents need to drop any sense of combativeness, and comply and work to correct the issues that exist.
OP, is there any way you could offer to foster the children, at least in the short term? DSS often looks to relatives first. Or split them up with another relative?
I have to agree that leaving a child in a high chair in an unattended room is being neglectful. That's kinda dangerous as the child could wiggle out and fall or whatever. The fact that the child is watching tv doesn't mean anything. The soiled bed is disgusting, even if she couldn't clean it up right away, the linen should at least be taken off the bed with the waste.
I knew a few people who had such cases and thought that if they left the state, then they would be untouchable. I believe such cases should definitely follow them to another state. I don't feel sorry for the mother and grandmother at all; they aren't victimized at all. They made some bad choices and didn't deal effectively with DSS. We should feel for the kids and hope they're in a better situation now.
I can't ever think of a time where I strapped my child in a high chair and went off to do something else. It's just not safe. I imagine it also was either part of her m.o. Or it looked like the child had been there a while...not just a quick run to the restroom.
It really doesn't sound like this family is managing well at all and sadly the state had to step in.
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