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You can never hold a baby too much. Some babies are naturally placid and less demanding. Some babies are not. I remember an old neighbor of mine complaining that her day care provider held her son too much and was "spoiling" him. I thought that was so odd. Why WOULDN'T you want your day care provider to give your child as much love and attention as she can? That seems so odd to me.
I carried and held my babies a lot. As a result not a single one fussed an ounce when it was time to go to preschool and Kindergarten. I think they'd see enough of our ugly mugs by then to last them a lifetime Once they're teenagers they won't even want you to glance in their direction. By all means, snuggle and hug and kiss them all you can, they grow up way too fast
My mom watches her almost 3 month old Granddaughter all day once a week. I'm there because to help out and visit my niece. My mom entertains and holds the baby almost every moment she is awake unless I'm holding her. I kindly mentioned to her that she needs to learn to self-soothe herself. Otherwise she'll eventually think the world revolves around her when she comes over. Am I worrying over nothing?
I think you sound jealous of the attention your mother is giving her granddaughter.
If you can't handle watching her hold a baby, then maybe you need a hobby. I'm sure Grandma can handle taking care of an infant by herself.
I think you sound jealous of the attention your mother is giving her granddaughter.
I agree.
The OP has posted about many problems she has had regarding family over the years, including that she was not shown affection growing up. Might be the root of these current feelings...
My mom watches her almost 3 month old Granddaughter all day once a week. I'm there because to help out and visit my niece. My mom entertains and holds the baby almost every moment she is awake unless I'm holding her. I kindly mentioned to her that she needs to learn to self-soothe herself. Otherwise she'll eventually think the world revolves around her when she comes over. Am I worrying over nothing?
Yes. She's 3 months old for crying out loud. I doubt she is consciously "thinking" anything. She is a sponge for external stimuli and a jumble of instincts and reflexes. All of that holding and carrying as babies is a necessary part of bonding and human affection that affects our growth, even into adulthood. She can learn tough love and independence when she's old and jaded, like age one.
I'm not a grandma but I'm an aunt. I've seen my parents interaction with my niece and nephews. As you get older you're aware that time is precious, as you have less and less time left. It's normal for older people to hug small children for as long as possible.
How about YOU learn some tolerance for frustration and stop thinking life revolves around YOUR every whim? You were an adult and your daughter just a baby. You were concerned about you being able to "unwind" before you thought about your SEVEN MONTH OLD daughter crying? You plugged your ears so you could play basketball and she could learn some tolerance for frustration? OMG.
My first thought would have been that my kid had been at daycare all day and wanted some time/attention from me. And funny thing is, I'd be wanting time with my kid too and we would unwind together. I wouldn't figure since they were fed and changed they were good and now it's time for ME!
I raised three kids and I managed to give them attention AND get things done. Who said anything about the laundry and dishes being dirty? They don't take that much time and they can be scheduled AROUND a baby's schedule. I used to do a lot of that while the kids were napping. And when a little older, they did it with me.
Sounds to me like you resented having a child. I wonder what your wife thought (if she knew) about you letting the baby cry so you could "unwind?"
^^^Agree! Sounds like the OP and this guy are jealous of infants taking away attention from themselves and that's just sad. I can't imagine not having held and carried my children all the time.
I'm confused. Are you having problems learning how to self-soothe? Because I"m pretty sure you mom held you a lot when you were that age. Have you suffered any negatives as a result?
The child in question is cared for by the grandmother ONE day a week.
Why would you assume that " Catering to its every whim while the laundry stacks to the ceiling and dirty dishes attract vermin and couples never get a moment to themselves to keep the marriage healthy" applies in this case?
Come on now, everybody here knows "shyguylh" is always posting vitriolic rants and gets people riled up for no reason. Don't feed it.
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Once they're teenagers they won't even want you to glance in their direction. By all means, snuggle and hug and kiss them all you can, they grow up way too fast
