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We used Cheerios for target practice with my son. Worked really well.
I honestly don't remember exactly how old he was when he finally was out of diapers, but it was "late." He had an immature/small bladder and literally could not feel the urge to go until it was happening. He was willing, just not able to feel when it was time. I could remind him, but until they get the cues, it's really hard. So, it isn't just about method or when the child is emotionally ready. There's a physical component as well. He wore pullups at night until almost 3rd grade, and it was very rough for him. He HATED it. But we worked through it.
My daughter was similar, in that she struggled to recognize when she had to go. But the big challenge with her was that she would not use a potty chair or a seat that you put on the toilet. For her, it was the big potty or nothing. She was (is!) tiny, and we had a few times when she'd fall into a larger bowl. I had her sit sideways on the toilet seat, and that made it much easier for her to balance. But she was really focused and basically told me she was done with "baby diapers." Sheer force of will got her trained.
I have a friend who is going through potty training with her 3 yo son. But in a one-week period, she tried 4 different methods because "none were working." I told her to choose a method and stick to it for a few days to see if it begins to click. If it doesn't, back off and THEN try something different. She won't use the naked method--they rent, and she's convinced it would totally ruin the carpet. I told her if it's more than a couple of accidents, he's not ready. But she's stressed out and in panic mode now. I also think he's picking up on her panic, and he's sort of in a control spiral with her.
One thing for sure--soooo glad those days are behind me!
never said that did I? But if the child is TRULY ready, it won't be a fight, there won't be any resistance. It'll happen fairly easily weather it takes a couple days or a couple weeks. A kid resisting, arguing, crying and holding it until they are infected is NOT ready and dragging the process out over months and months just to appease the parents isn't productive. You'd meet the same potty-trained timeline with a lot less headache if you just hold off altogether for 4-6 months and start when the child WANTS to and not when YOU want to.
Toddlers and preschoolers are not absolutes. The process of potty training is not absolute. SOME kids are started too early by their parents and they resist, argue, cry, and have problems, and should hold off. But some kids can be old enough, completely ready and willing and excited about potty training, and still have problems.
You are implying that all possible problems are only caused by the parent starting too early and the child fighting it. That is just not true. Also, it unnecessarily blames parents, and scolds them instead of helping them.
Look, many kids catch on quickly and only need a couple days or a couple weeks. Some kids are just different and get stressed out going straight from diapers all day long to nothing all day long. It's too much for them. They need a gradual approach. AND THAT'S OKAY. Seriously. It is absolutely fine to let a 3 year old child take potty training on at their own pace.
You should go at the pace the CHILD NEEDS, not at the pace YOU WANT. Why do you feel you need everyone else's child trained within 3 days anyways? How many days do you give them to learn how to read, 4? And if they don't get it in 4, well, they just weren't ready? Sorry, it doesn't work that way. As I'm sure you know.
I would relax about it. If he's not getting it, take a break for a few months. Seriously.
Maybe my experience was abnormal, but we tried off and on with my daughter for almost a year. We'd start, it would fail, we'd give it a rest until she showed interest again. My last intensive try before she potty trained, I ended up with a child who refused to wear diapers but peed all over the floor whenever she had to go. That was fantastic.
Then one day my husband caught her with a funny look on her face, plopped her on the toilet, she peed, cried, and was cheered and praised. The next day she was 95% trained. Literally overnight. Because she decided she was ready. We did pull-ups for another couple of weeks just to be sure. We started trying around 2 and a half maybe, and she trained at a couple of months past 3.
She's had a few occasional accidents, but these can be normal and are usually related to the child waiting too long to go or not wanting to stop playing. So several of her accidents were as she was trying to pull her pants down in the bathroom.
Also, just a note: night training is totally different from day training and is strictly developmental. Ours trained at pretty much the same time (she usually just holds it all night, doesn't get up to pee in the night) but many many children need pullups at night even when they're reliable during the day.
So, for what it is worth, on Saturday we had breakfast with a young family with a 20 month old baby girl (first born, only child). The baby is toilet trained. Seriously, she asked to go potty twice during breakfast.
She is a very smart, verbal baby (100+ words), and her mother is all over her like white on rice, so that probably has a lot to do with it. Her mother says that she was just ready, and if she wasn't, the mother wouldn't have pushed it. I don't really know many more details than that, but I believe this is the youngest I've heard of a baby being potty trained.
It makes me think I way underestimated my kids.
I've read some theories that there's a window around 18 months. It's very short, but if you catch it you can have success. If you miss it, then you probably have to wait a while for them to be ready again.
I've read some theories that there's a window around 18 months. It's very short, but if you catch it you can have success. If you miss it, then you probably have to wait a while for them to be ready again.
Those windows are very important. They occur when a baby is eager to try something new, like using a spoon, or going potty, or sleeping in their own bed, etc. and if the parents miss it, then the baby might be resistant later.
Pull ups worked fine for our son. The main thing was we got him to master using the regular toilet (using a potty seat). Once he mastered that, we worked on regularly taking him to the potty at increasing intervals.
At first, he could not tell us he needed to go and would urinate in his pull-up. Over the course of a couple weeks of just keeping at with regular trips to the bathroom, he finally figured it out and was dry for most of these 2-2.5 hour intervals. We used a reward chart to encourage dry pull-ups. Once he was consistently dry, we took away the pull ups and switched to underwear. He was super proud of himself. He still had accidents from time to time, but he got better and better at holding it and letting us know when he needed to go.
My point is that potty training can work with pull-ups. There is a point where the pull-up becomes a crutch and you have to take it away. This should be sold to the child as a proud moment. You just need to figure out if you're at that point yet.
I was really relaxed about it with mine. They each trained a bit later than "normal" (3 years 11 months, 3 years 6 months, 3 years 9 months) but it happened very quickly. None of them gave a **** about sticker charts or cheerios or rewards or anything like that, so I would park them on the toilet right at the usual go times (waking in the morning, after a nap, etc) and have them give it a try; sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't. I also watched like a hawk for signs that they were going to poop, and parked them on the toilet to finish. After a week or so of doing that, I took away the diapers completely (they wore cloth trainers during the day, and a cloth trainer with a waterproof cover at night) because I firmly believe that having "accidents" helps the process along much quicker; every time they peed their pants, we'd change out of the wet clothes and talk about staying dry. I'd say maybe after a week or so it clicked that it was easier to just stop and go potty than stop and change out of wet, clammy clothes and listen to me ramble on.
So, for what it is worth, on Saturday we had breakfast with a young family with a 20 month old baby girl (first born, only child). The baby is toilet trained. Seriously, she asked to go potty twice during breakfast.
She is a very smart, verbal baby (100+ words), and her mother is all over her like white on rice, so that probably has a lot to do with it. Her mother says that she was just ready, and if she wasn't, the mother wouldn't have pushed it. I don't really know many more details than that, but I believe this is the youngest I've heard of a baby being potty trained.
It makes me think I way underestimated my kids.
My daughter was potty trained at 18 months. We found out she was ready when she kept taking her diaper off but I put it off. One day I found her in the bathroom with poo all over the walls. She had taken it out of the toilet to "paint" with. I think she didn't want to flush the evidence that she was able to get out of those diapers for good. We ditched those diapers that day! Some kids just hate diapers and the feeling of being wet/soiled so they have more motivation.
It's ok that he is not telling you yet. Every child is different and they all do it at different ages. He is just not ready yet.
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never said that did I? But if the child is TRULY ready, it won't be a fight, there won't be any resistance. It'll happen fairly easily weather it takes a couple days or a couple weeks. A kid resisting, arguing, crying and holding it until they are infected is NOT ready and dragging the process out over months and months just to appease the parents isn't productive. You'd meet the same potty-trained timeline with a lot less headache if you just hold off altogether for 4-6 months and start when the child WANTS to and not when YOU want to.
This method works!
