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If you murder somebody, you are mentally ill, period. A sane person would not kill a kid over weed. It's not meth.
No not really. People get angry and in the heat of the moment do terrible things. When you add guns to the mix, a split second of rage (especially from a hormonal teen) can create catastrophic results. If the parents weren't so stupid as to leave a loaded gun lying around, the boys probably would've just gotten into a physical fight then moved on, but instead one life is lost and two families have been destroyed.
Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 10-30-2015 at 08:45 AM..
Reason: thread is not about gun control
I'd need deep, deep, deep therapy. NOt only because my kid is an animal, it's my fault he/she is animal. Someone DIED because the animal I raised. I'd probably be suicidal from the guilty. I would have to live every day knowing that a child DIED because of the animal I raised and it was 100% MY FAULT. And I would never be able to fix that family. They are broken forever.
Well, I'd turn him/her in for sure. Beyond that, wonder we did wrong, or what we missed, because... no. Just, no. I can't imagine that, but I would be concerned, disgusted and heartbroken.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 10-30-2015 at 08:46 AM..
Reason: deleted WTF language filter
Kids act rashly because that part of their brain doesn't finish developing until a person is in their mid 20s.
Mid-20's? Are you kidding?
There are lots of bad juveniles—even very young ones—who totally deserve to be tried as adults and taken off the streets so that they don't harm anyone else.
I would feel guilty, and sure that I had failed her in some way. I would turn her in for sure and make sure she gets whatever help she needs. If she's under 15 she won't be criminally responsible so I'll cooperate fully with child protection (it would be their responsibility in that case) for whatever is determined right (special boarding school or psych treatment or whatever).
Locally, there's a story about a 13yo kid who killed a 16yo over weed. He rode by on his bicycle and shot the kid in the neck.
No mental illness, lived in a decent neighborhood, had two working parents that we assume did everything they could for their kids.
Many people are saying don't blame the parents.
But if it were my kid, I would feel partially responsible, and I'd be looking inward to try to figure out what the hell I did wrong. But at 13, they know right from wrong. And if I'd decided that I had done everything in my power to make sure that kid was on the right path, and he did this anyway, then that kid would be dead to me. I would not hire a lawyer, not visit them in prison, not send money, nothing. Because in my mind, they deserve nothing more from me.
What do you feel?
Depends on the raising.
In my background, with the various "concepts" of, if kidnapped, the country not being sacrificed for my ransom and of Dad telling me around 16 that if I "seriously misbehaved" he was coming after me with a baseball bat, there is another "question" of if I harmed someone maliciously, who would catch up with me first? My family's enforcers, their family's enforcers, or the cops?
Now that last part may seem like a fantasy, for an American family, but on the other hand, between Dad saying that if anyone harmed his children, it would be the end of them, and then some of my Dad's friends asking my mother about someone hastening his passing when brain cancer was destroying him in a nursing home.................one has to wonder just how big of a sword were they under.
THAT SAID, if I was maliciously guilty, they would not entirely forget about me. As they told me about being out of the house, living on my own, they would still welcome me at the table for holiday dinners and I suspect they would do the same if I was in prison. They would want me to stand up and pay for my offenses. Would they hire, get me a lawyer?
Perhaps....but it may come with conditions such as if it was determined that I was unexcusably guilty, they would probably not allow me to plead not guilty for the lawyer they provide.
Sorry, but I can't imagine a scenario where all the criteria above are met and something like this still happens.
I can.
You never know what's going on behind someone else's closed doors. Two working parents in a nice neighborhood doesn't mean there weren't problems in that home. Without knowing exactly what was going on, I can't really say if it's the parent's fault, or the kid was just born a sociopath. I can comfortably say I have a hard time believing they didn't know their son had problems. He didn't just suddenly wake up one day and decide to go murder someone over weed.
To answer the OP, I would not condone or excuse my child's crime, and I absolutely would never cover for her, but I would still love her. And I would blame myself, because it's my job as a parent to make sure she doesn't go down this path. If she does, I failed as a parent.
I might feel differently if she was an adult though. If I knew I'd done all I could, given her every opportunity possible, and she CHOSE as a grown adult who knew better to go out and kill someone, that's completely on her. But nothing would make me stop loving my kid.
They are still putting it all together, but there had been many break-ins in that neighborhood, and a couple guns had been stolen.
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