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Locally, there's a story about a 13yo kid who killed a 16yo over weed. He rode by on his bicycle and shot the kid in the neck.
No mental illness, lived in a decent neighborhood, had two working parents that we assume did everything they could for their kids.
Many people are saying don't blame the parents.
But if it were my kid, I would feel partially responsible, and I'd be looking inward to try to figure out what the hell I did wrong. But at 13, they know right from wrong. And if I'd decided that I had done everything in my power to make sure that kid was on the right path, and he did this anyway, then that kid would be dead to me. I would not hire a lawyer, not visit them in prison, not send money, nothing. Because in my mind, they deserve nothing more from me.
I just cannot imagine a 13-year-old who was "raised right" shooting another kid, unless he was mentally ill. And to be that mentally ill -- I also cannot imagine parents who would be so oblivious that they would not INSIST that they child obtain some psychotherapy.
So, assuming that the child did not have some kind of very sudden psychotic break (unlikely if he was thinking ahead enough to get a gun unless he was going hunting on a bicycle -- again, very unlikely), I would blame the parents in THIS case -- and if I were his parent, I would be going through MAJOR agonies of guilt.
However, if my kid was over the age of 18 and intentionally killed someone in something other than a it-was-either-him-or-me type situation, then, yeah . . . COMPLETE disowning on my part!
I just do not understand those parent who defend their children "no matter what", and I think that attitude has resulted in so many children feeling so "entitled" these days.
Last edited by katharsis; 10-28-2015 at 12:26 PM..
Not only would I feel tremendous guilt, I WOULD be guilty. Minors are not permitted to own handguns, the onus is on the parents to keep them secured. In this case, assuming a rifle was not the weapon, the parents are culpable. And the guilt would extend to both the shooter and the murder victim.
The kid is unlikely mentally ill. Kids act rashly because that part of their brain doesn't finish developing until a person is in their mid 20s. Even if he is old enough to technically know right from wrong in a moment of anger they don't have the thought process to understand the full gravity of their actions.
For me, I could never disown my child no matter what they did. I would still love them even though I don't like or even hate their actions, but they will always be mine. This man's entire family was killed by his son, but he forgave him and still visits him in prison.
When I was in junior high, a boy a grade older than me, killed his little sister, mother, and attempted to kill another sibling and kill himself. This was all done with a knife. The kid had been apparently diagnosed with something when he was younger. The dad stayed by him throughout the trials. I saw the dad's obituary. He died in his early 60's. I think the stress and life changes must have taken him early. He remarried after that. His previous wife and wife were very lovingly mentioned in the obituary.
I have a 13 year old son. I cannot imagine a child committing such an act and there be no warning sign that this child was heading down the wrong path. So yeah, I'd blame myself and wonder what in the hell I missed and why didn't I get him help. And being a Christian, I'd ultimately forgive him.
Locally, there's a story about a 13yo kid who killed a 16yo over weed. He rode by on his bicycle and shot the kid in the neck.
No mental illness, lived in a decent neighborhood, had two working parents that we assume did everything they could for their kids.
Many people are saying don't blame the parents.
B
What do you feel?
Look, sometimes you can't do anything about having a total craphead for a kid. And this may be the case here.
However, maybe if someone was home raising the kid and knowing where he was, what he was doing, who he was doing it with, where the guns were, whether he was doing drugs, etc, this situation could have been avoided.
In this case, I do blame the parents.
Lack of parental supervision secondary to chasing the almighty dollar gets zero respect from me.
There's nothing my daughter could do that would make me stop loving her. I might feel heartbroken and betrayed, but she'll always be my daughter and I'll always do whatever I can to help her.
As far as blame goes, without knowing more it's hard to know whether the parents have any responsibility or not.
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