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Maybe meet her in the middle and get a highly regarded (WRT safety) used midsized sedan. Can get the last body Fusion pretty cheap. Same can be said for 2013 Elantras, my SO just got one for under 10 out the door with 60k miles.
Also, I was never a "cleaning nut" but man, during my 3rd trimester, I was cleaning everything every day - I even had my husband pull out the fridge, washer and dryer. It was nuts.
Wow guess I should be looking forward to that one day! I do almost all the housework now though there's not a whole lot to do. We're both pretty clean people. I have heard about nesting manifesting itself in other ways though, like "needing" a car with a third row.
I don't think the age of the car is relevant, but the size could be. Go to a Babies R Us and test out a carseat or two and see if they fit in your car (they will usually let you try a display model to do that). Then try folding up a stroller and seeing how that fits into the trunk. That will answer the question of whether the car is large enough for every day use with a baby.
As for the stick, I don't drive one and have no interest in learning, so yeah, I'd want my spouse to have an automatic under any circumstances. But I don't see that as specifically related to having a baby.
As for the stick, I don't drive one and have no interest in learning, so yeah, I'd want my spouse to have an automatic under any circumstances. But I don't see that as specifically related to having a baby.
So what I was wondering was whether having a baby somehow necessitates car-switching. That was one I couldn't necessarily wrap my head around given that we have never had any issues with it since we met.
So what I was wondering was whether having a baby somehow necessitates car-switching. That was one I couldn't necessarily wrap my head around given that we have never had any issues with it since we met.
You would need to each buy a carseat so you could both transport the baby in your own cars. But otherwise, I don't think you'd necessarily need to switch cars. I would assume it would just be for the added peace of mind of knowing there was a back up car available that either of you could drive if needed, vs. your wife not having any back up car in an emergency situation if there was something wrong with hers.
I don't think that the age of the car is a problem, or even that it is a stick, but the size could be an issue. An infant bucket seat (the kind that you take in and out of the car and keep the base in the car) will probably fit fine in a smaller car, and that carseat will last you generally somewhere from 6-18 months depending on the size of your baby. But the next seat after that is the convertible seat, which allows baby to continue rear-facing for longer before eventually switching to forward-facing. They are now recommending that baby rear-faces until at least age 2, and ideally for longer if possible. They make carseats now to accommodate this which will rear-face pretty big kids, up to 45 pounds, or maybe even more nowadays. A lot of people want these carseats for the added safety of "extended" rear-facing, however the seats tend to be pretty big, so they may not fit well in a smaller car. Some people complain that they have to turn their kid forward-facing sooner because their carseat didn't fit in their car. Of course some people also turn their kids forward-facing without a second thought because "they didn't even have seatbelts back when I was a kid", etc so they think extended rear-facing is silly. But if she is worried about your 6 year old car not being the safest, she may also be the type to want to rear-face her baby longer, and want a larger carseat to do so with.
As for needing to switch cars occasionally, I don't switch cars with my husband very often, but it does come up at least a few times per year that we need to switch cars. Recently, my husband went camping with some friends so he took my (bigger) car so that he could bring more camping gear with him, and I used his car for that weekend. Another time, he had to take the kids and the dog somewhere, so he took my car because it's easier to put the dog in it, so I took his car to where I was going. Also, when the oil needs to be changed in my car, we will switch cars for the day and he will take my car for an oil change for me. I don't drive his car frequently, but it does happen sometimes.
So what I was wondering was whether having a baby somehow necessitates car-switching. That was one I couldn't necessarily wrap my head around given that we have never had any issues with it since we met.
It takes some convoluted thinking. It COULD happen that one day you are violently ill and are home but unable to get out of bed. Simultaneously, your wife's car breaks down. Your car is available, but she can't drive it and neither can you. Whatever she has planned for that moment is urgent and cannot be postponed. It COULD happen...maybe once in your entire parenting career...
My wife had similar ideas when we found out we were expecting. Since May, we have gotten a new kitchen, a new roof, new area rugs, new furniture, traded in the little Z3 convertible for a much bigger Buick, painted nearly every room in the house, and my wife is pressing me to start getting rid of my motorcycle collection. I felt like the total expenditure was a little excessive, and I have been working hours every night pulling wire, laying tile, running plumbing, painting baseboards, replacing old fixtures with LEDs, and working on my old bikes. I dropped out of three softball leagues this past summer, and I haven't watched evening TV in almost a year. I lost 15 lbs and I haven''t been going to the gym, just laboring an extra 4-5 hours an evening.
The baby is due in another month or so and the preparations are winding down. I have to say that I get a warm and fuzzy feeling of pride when I think of how much more prepared we are now than a year ago. I was skeptical of whether it was worth all the money and effort, but not anymore. The kitchen is beautiful, comfortable, and my wife loves to cook in it now. The roof is completely sound and I hopefully won't have to worry about it for at least 20 years. The new car doesn't quite tackle the windy roads like the Z3 but it is safe, quiet, comfortable, and , most importantly, has a back seat and trunk big enough to comfortably hold a car seat and stroller. We are as up to date as we can be on painting, deck staining, gutter cleaning, tree trimming, and other basic maintenance so that we will be able to focus 100% of our attention on the new baby for the near future.
I don't argue with a pregnant wife. When she said that the old kitchen wasn't meeting her needs or that the old paint colors bothered her or that the old sofa hurt her back, I tried to fix the problem as soon as I could. If it would have caused serious financial hardship I would have tried to convey that to her, but if it just an inconvenience for me, I just suck it up and do what I can for her.
Am I the only one that caught the statement the wife is NOT CURRENTLY PREGNANT?
I was all set to tell OP to just go with it-you can't win a fight with a likely hormonal pregnant woman when she hinges her argument on child safety. You. Just. Can't. Even if you win, you lose.
But. SHE ISN'T PREGNANT. OP has a chance at a logical discussion. I'd try that route.
My wife and I have been talking about babies lately and the topic of cars came up. She seemed pretty insistent on me buying a new (to me) car when we have a baby. Personally I thought it was ridiculous, but here is her argument:
1. I drive a 6 year old compact sedan so she worries about the safety of the car.
2. I drive a manual so we can't switch cars if we need to. I couldn't figure out why we would need to switch cars, but if we did need to we wouldn't be able to now.
Now, the idea of car shopping has me excited but very conflicted. I have zero interest in driving an automatic but would grudgingly do so if that's what is best for our family. My current car also has a ton of life left in it - it has less than 60k miles on it.
So what's everyone's thoughts on a new car when having a baby? Are my wife's concerns legitimate? What's your experience?
(PS I think I already know what the majority of people in the Automotive forum would say, hence why I posted it in the Parenting forum.)
If it was your only car and she was unable to drive it, yes. But it's not your only car, and your wife isn't even pregnant, so the whole hormonal argument--as weak as it is in the context of the original question anyway--is completely irrelevant.
Frankly, your wife expressing concern about this when you don't even have a child on the way is downright bizarre. It really sounds like she's trying to make up an excuse for you to dump what you currently drive, for reasons that only you can know.
I guess if your finances are such that you can just buy whatever you want without any concern for the upcoming list of 1000 other seemingly urgent necessities that might come along when she is pregnant and when the child is born, then by all means go buy a new automatic car and get something nice that you won't hate driving. Otherwise, keep the car you have.
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