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My brother and his gf had a baby together. They broke up and separated. The baby is now 1. My brother visits the baby once a week but he doesn't have her for the weekends. My mom says the baby is too young to be separated from the mother even for a weekend. I'm not sure what their agreements are or how this separation with kids thing work, but in general, when does the father start getting the kid over the weekends? I don't think 1 years old is too young for the baby to be separated from the mother especially if the baby is going to be with the father, but what do I know? Is that entirely up to the mother or the court?
Courts usually mandate the stay with dad. After a certain age they can have sleep overs. This situation doesnt sound like it went through a court so mother may be determining the arrangement. A child that young usually is on a tight schedule as far as naps,eating,bathing and bedtime and daytime visitation is usually for first couple of years. When that time comes it then is usually every other week end dad has the child.
By one I think a father should have an overnight visit with his child but ultimately it's whatever both parents feel comfortable with. If she is breastfeeding I don't see why she can't pump and provide dad with the bottled milk. I think it's important for a dad to bond with his baby too and I don't believe that a baby would be traumatized if separated from her mother for a night or two. If your brother wanted more time with the baby he could probably get through the courts or just ask mom for more time but he's obviously okay with the arrangement or else he would have done something by now.
My brother and his gf had a baby together. They broke up and separated. The baby is now 1. My brother visits the baby once a week but he doesn't have her for the weekends. My mom says the baby is too young to be separated from the mother even for a weekend. I'm not sure what their agreements are or how this separation with kids thing work, but in general, when does the father start getting the kid over the weekends? I don't think 1 years old is too young for the baby to be separated from the mother especially if the baby is going to be with the father, but what do I know? Is that entirely up to the mother or the court?
The parents should negotiate this and if they can not agree, a Court will order it. If necessary, the Court will order the mother to provide breast milk to the father and order the father to feed it. There is no age. When my kids were a few months old my wife's job would sometimes take her out of state for a night or two. I used the previously pumped milk and all were fine for a few days. the notion that there are things that a mother and father can not both do if given the correct things (like a fridge and breast milk) is insane. Any parent can care for a child. If th eonly issue is breastmilk, its easy to solve.
My brother and his gf had a baby together. They broke up and separated. The baby is now 1. My brother visits the baby once a week but he doesn't have her for the weekends. My mom says the baby is too young to be separated from the mother even for a weekend. I'm not sure what their agreements are or how this separation with kids thing work, but in general, when does the father start getting the kid over the weekends? I don't think 1 years old is too young for the baby to be separated from the mother especially if the baby is going to be with the father, but what do I know? Is that entirely up to the mother or the court?
Whenever the parents agree on custody and visitation and present it to the court for a legal court order that has to be adhered to.
Here's how my order was structured. We worked it out this way to wean into full visits, and it worked quite well.
At age 1, I did full day visits at my home. 10AM to 4PMish. I would pick up at her house and either go to Children's Museum, or back to my home. Then i'd bring back at the end of the day.
At 15 months, I started overnights. 10AM Sat morning to about 4PM on Sunday. As my child got older, the time expanded to 9AM to 6PM sunday. Really had no issues with this at all. No 2AM phone calls to my child's mom.
At age 2, Friday got added so it was Friday 5PM through Sun 6PM...plus started doing additional days for longer weekends and holidays and such.
Myself and my child's mother came up with this plan. Court signed off, but we decided the steps we'd take. Actually, our agreement says Fridays were to be added at age 3. But we bumped it to around age 2 ourselves just because things were going well.
Here's how my order was structured. We worked it out this way to wean into full visits, and it worked quite well.
At age 1, I did full day visits at my home. 10AM to 4PMish. I would pick up at her house and either go to Children's Museum, or back to my home. Then i'd bring back at the end of the day.
At 15 months, I started overnights. 10AM Sat morning to about 4PM on Sunday. As my child got older, the time expanded to 9AM to 6PM sunday. Really had no issues with this at all. No 2AM phone calls to my child's mom.
At age 2, Friday got added so it was Friday 5PM through Sun 6PM...plus started doing additional days for longer weekends and holidays and such.
Myself and my child's mother came up with this plan. Court signed off, but we decided the steps we'd take. Actually, our agreement says Fridays were to be added at age 3. But we bumped it to around age 2 ourselves just because things were going well.
That sounds really reasonable. It should go slowly if it isn't from the starting gate. I think it's a mistake if he still isn't spending the day taking the child out by now. Just visiting isn't good enough. That's a visitor, not daddy
It's not a problem if they are fine with it and there is no rules about this stuff. Some guys, especially young ones who didn't plan on having a baby, aren't comfortable with overnights and being totally responsible for a baby's care. My friends son went through this and although he insisted on overnights the fact is when he had the baby he took her to his parents because he wasn't ready to handle it by himself. It wasn't for a few years, until he had another girlfriend to help, that he was ok with having her at his place for any length of time.
Parent's who have kids learn this stuff together, but two single people on their own may not both have the support they need or the confidence necessary to care for a child. That's ok because it gets better as the kid ages.
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