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Super Polish area??? Or perhaps Eastern European? Cool names - whatever they may be.
In your case the possibility exists that a Mr. "C" or Mrs. "D" might be allowed, if they are okay with their names being shortened.
Not sure what nationality, but there are a lot of names like that around here. They are third or later genrations, but still have the wild spellings. How do their kids even learn to spelltheir own names?
Seems like when my son was pre-school age the thing to do was call people Ms/Mr First name, including preschool and daycare teachers. Then when they hit grade school they have to call teachers by Ms/Mr Last Name and then that seems to stick. It's all Last Name after that. I've never heard a school age child call an adult by their first name. I do sometimes get called, "Joey's mom" as if that's my name.
At my job we still use Mr/Ms for the boss-types and for paging purposes for all level employees.
I'm 36 and still refer to my preschool teacher as Mrs. so and so. I used to work with her husband at a military base and I had to call him Chief so and So. He called me by my first name, and once in a while instead of calling him Chief, I would call him Mr. So and So. He would laugh and say that the training from his wife stuck!!!
My son calls most of our friends by their first names, but they were told to by them, not me. I try to tell them to call them Mr/Mrs, but friends said they felt old when that happens. I'm just referred to as "Timmy's Mom". That's okay. I don't mind. I'm either someone's mother or wife.
My husband's nieces (17 and 16) call my parents, Mr. & Mrs. so and so. My Dad loves that! My mom told them to call her Nana, like son does, but they don't feel comfortable so they stick to the Mr/Mrs. stuff. Manners, not a bad thing!!
No One seems to allow it anymore. I like it, it shows the children are being polite and respect for their elders. But now days everyoneis like "Call me Nancy...Mrs. Jones is my mother in law"
I mean how am I sapose to teach my kids manners if no one will let me
I am an older gentleman; I was taught to address my elders with their title of respect and their last name. When a child asks me "Whats your name? I always say, Mr. -------. When I was in my 20's and 30's.................I think I still did the same thing. However if a child calls me by my first name....I would not correct them. We also use family titles of kinship in my family, Cousin Jane, Auntie Anne, Uncle so and so (but not for nephews and nieces....isnt that odd?)
I went to a Quaker school and their custom was to call people by their full name and not to use any titles; even for distinguished professors; they made a point of not distinguishing between people....so I assume this went for children to adults as well. Respect was shown in other ways--deference, respectful behavior.
So despite the fact that someone (like me) wants and prefers to be addressed by their first name, you'll still insist your child address them in a manner that they do not like? It's fine for the kid to do that if you don't know the person's preferences, but once I say "Please call me by my first name" then it's only polite for you and your child to do so. If you continued to do so after I've nicely asked you not to, then yes...you're being insulting by not following my reasonable request.
I would have to add (when you say "you're being insulting by not following my reasonable request") I would say that it is disrespectful and no help for a child if the party who wants the child to call him/her by first name attempts to overrule the parent by saying "Please call me by my first name" after the mother has told the child to say Mr. or Mrs.
I called my in-laws Mr. and Mrs. until they signed my birthday card differently. That didn't happen until after we were engaged after 7 years of dating.
I have a 2 year old who doesn't speak that well yet, but we have her call close friends our age Aunt/Uncle, casual friends our age are Miss/Mr. and their first name, and anybody older will be Mr. and Mrs. Last Name. I thought keeping the Miss/Mr first name would be ok until our neighbor pulled up and I said to my daughter, "Oh there's Mr. Ed." Right then I knew we'd be using last names. LOL. However-the elderly couple on the other side of us have already said that they "hope" she calls them Uncle Ray and Aunt Ceil like the other kids in the neighborhood. How can I say no? That's another point-I would call them Mr. and Mrs., but they introduced themselves to us with their first names, so is it wrong that that is what we call them?
Funny little story-I ended up becoming best friends with the niece of my elementary school principal. He scared the crap out of us as kids, and I didn't know this was her uncle until I went to her house for a family function. He walked in and my jaw dropped. She said this is my uncle. I was like-"Your uncle is Mr. Orlich??" He told me I could call him John now. I just laughed at him and told him that was never NEVER going to happen and I could not possibly ever call him anything other than Mr. Orlich. LOL.
I like the use of "Ma'am" and "Sir" to show respect.
If we are teaching manners, and insist on someone calling someone by other than what they have asked to be addressed, that is very rude.
You can maintain your manners, but you don't get to impose your will on others.
If you are ignoring their request regarding name then that is disrespectful.
It's like someone says "My name is Betty" and you insist on calling them "Theodora."
Also you don't get to control what other people say!
Kids exist in a big wide world with many ways of doing things.
Yes, you can seek to pass on your values.
But you can't force or insist that the rest of the world do it your way.
Everyone gets to choose, and you're not in charge of them!
There are definately two sides to "rudeness" as this thread points out.
If a parent says I believe it is important to teach my children to show respect by calling adults by their last name, and the adult refuses to allow that, I would question their adulthood extended past their chronological majority.
I can understand expressing that it sounds so "odd" or "feels funny"--but to subvert the good intentions of the parents seems....unnecessarily rude. Perhaps there is some compromise, such as the Miss and first name.
If you are intent on subverting my parenting, I would have to consider you a bad influence and try to limit contact between you and my kids.
When someone is stopped by an officer or goes to court would they correct the authorities and tell them "Mrs. Jones is my mother in law and I insist on being called by my first name. My point is that there is a time and place........
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