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My professionally employed with a beautiful girl friend son still has stuffed animals on his bed, some (most) of them given to him by his girlfriend, but also one that he's had since he was little. When he went off to a prestigious university, he took his small blanket with him that he'd had since birth (worn, thin, and well loved). He could fold it up very, very small and tucked it in a pillow case, but he knew it was there.
My other professionally employed son still enjoys digging out the Lego bin when he visits home, where I've kept all the Lego pieces the kids accumulated over the years. (I figure there are $100s of dollars worth of Legos here).
OP, love your son for who he IS, not for who you wish he might be.
And if you think your divorce did not affect him, you're crazy. OF COURSE it affected him.
Lots of people are saying it's normal...but I'm sort of with the OP on that in that it's definitely not COMMON for an almost 15 year old to play with stuffed animals. KEEP an old childhood toy or gift - sure. Tinker around with legos or a remote control toy - yes.
But if he's actually playing with stuffed toys, pretending and roleplaying like a little kid would play - that is certainly not common and perhaps borderline not normal. It could be just who he is, or it could be an issue.
There was one poster here in the first pages who I think was on to something.
The boy holding on to childhood toys from before his parents divorced.
Perhaps it makes him feel more secure to hang on to them, perhaps he was traumatized severely by the divorce and has stunted emotionally and remained, emotionally, at the age of 8.
I would personally explore a therapist...not sure how to present it though as to not offend the boy.
FWIW..my husband's parents divorced when he was 16. He was traumatized, extremely. I met him when he was 19, and only a couple of years down the road from then did he start to deal with the emotional impact.
For an 8 year old, this is huge.
My other professionally employed son still enjoys digging out the Lego bin when he visits home, where I've kept all the Lego pieces the kids accumulated over the years. (I figure there are $100s of dollars worth of Legos here).
OP, love your son for who he IS, not for who you wish he might be.
And if you think your divorce did not affect him, you're crazy. OF COURSE it affected him.
We gave away most of the legos but saved a bucket of them. Yes my 26,28 and 30 year old sons can still build pretty amazing stuff with them. Also one of them still enjoys a lego for Christmas
I love your sentence in bold. I practically needed a tissue after reading it.
He is *not* acceptable the way he is. It's long past time for him to start growing up. In three years he'll be old enough to put on a uniform and take up an M-16 for Uncle Sam's next war. He needs to be prepared. Coddling him is far more harmful.
He may well pick up an M16 and go fight for corperate interests errr Uncle Sam. And still come home and play with his stuff.
My son is 13.5 years old and in the 8th grade. Long story short, he is VERY similar; VERY. My daughter is going to be 8 next month and my husband and I joke (just amongst ourselves) that we have twins due to his immaturity. However, all of a sudden, he's become "just friends" with this girl. All of a sudden I'm seeing glimpses of a teenager and less of a little boy. This girl came over to hang out over the weekend and I seriously wondered if he was going to play legos with her! (They played video games; which she seemed happy to be doing). My son has also just always been an introvert and maybe your son is too. Is there something wrong with our sons? I don't know; but I'm not terribly concerned based on what you've described.
And some people dress up in animal costumes and have sex with each other (furries...). That's the kind of perverse stuff I am trying to head off. I don't think this is normal. I have several good friends all my age who have similar aged kids, they all think it's weird too. That and some other mannerisms anyway.
Weird is not necessarily a problem. Lots of people have weird tendencies but still manage to have a good, satisfying social life. When weird crosses over to antisocial it can be a problem but there is a very wide range of normal human development.
My middle son still played Yugioh when he was that age. He is now 19 and is no longer playing childish card games. He was slow to be interested in girls but that interest developed. He was slow to want a drivers license but he eventually wanted to drive. He still doesn't drink. I assume he will eventually be interested in drinking with his buddies but for now he is content to sip iced tea and watch football on Sunday.
There is weird and there is pathological. As long as your son doesn't fall into pathological (I don't think he does) just allow his weirdness to exist. It is part of what makes him unique.
My son is 13.5 years old and in the 8th grade. Long story short, he is VERY similar; VERY. My daughter is going to be 8 next month and my husband and I joke (just amongst ourselves) that we have twins due to his immaturity. However, all of a sudden, he's become "just friends" with this girl. All of a sudden I'm seeing glimpses of a teenager and less of a little boy. This girl came over to hang out over the weekend and I seriously wondered if he was going to play legos with her! (They played video games; which she seemed happy to be doing). My son has also just always been an introvert and maybe your son is too. Is there something wrong with our sons? I don't know; but I'm not terribly concerned based on what you've described.
When my middle son had female friends over at that age they often had running races or swimming races. They also played video games and watched tv. He didn't develop any real interest in girls until he was a bit older.
NOthing at all wrong with playing with Legos at that age. It's time for the stuffed animals to go though.
Take him to do some "manly" activities with you. Shooting guns, camping, etc
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