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My son just turned 50 and he still plays with toys. His toys have gotten bigger and noisier as he has gotten older. His newest toy is a Polaris with a snow blower and my son waits eagerly for even a tiny snow fall so he can get the toy out and play with it. There is never any snow on my driveway. Sometimes he has to rush so he can get the snow before it melts off.
Healthy people play and play very often involves toys.
Really dad, back off. Love him and let him know he is loved and quite trying to mold him into someone he is not.
My two sons are in that same age range and they both play video games, own drones, and can't keep their hands off the grandkids legos. One of them has thousands of dollars in sound equipment and I'm still not sure what he does with it.
a reminder: this thread is five years old, so the original situation is no longer what it once was. However, the topic is certainly worthy of discussion.
Often, only children will be strongly attached to a stuffed toy or a doll, which/who are their companions, friends, sources of comfort, and fellow adventurers. I was an only child, and I remember how irreplaceable my Teddy bear was. He was a gift when I was one year old, and he eventually accompanied me to grad. school and later to my first apartment. I still have him, and still remember the childhood adventures we shared. Had anyone tried to pack him away when I was fourteen or so, I would not have been happy.
Also, my best friend gave me a large stuffed green frog for Christmas around that same time. I still have her, and no one thought it was weird to have a large plush frog sitting on my bed, back when I was in ninth grade. I named her "Jennifer Frog", for no one in particular, as I didn't know any Jennifers then - "Jennifer" was a far less common given name then than it later became.
At that same time, I was a reader, a basketball fan, in the school orchestra, and enjoyed ice skating, all age-appropriate activities. As far as I can tell, having my Teddy bear and Jennifer Frog on my bed at home 60 years ago (how'd that happen??) didn't leave any ill effects later in life.
I do wish we knew how the OP and his son, who must be around 19 now, are doing presently.
Umm....give the kid a break, please. Some of the more intricate lego sets are actually geared towards teens specifically. And some people (of both genders) like things like stuffed animals for longer than others. My husband, a large guy who played football in high school and practiced martial arts seriously for years after that, has hung on to stuffed animals his mom gave him as a kid. I found it mildly amusing when I met him and realized this, but I don't think anyone has ever perceived him as socially stunted or not masculine.
If you walked into my 65 year old brother's bedroom, you'd think you were in a 12 year old boys bedroom. He's a Marvel maniac, lol. Spiderman and Fantastic Four posters on the wall, shelves full of action figures (when I want to get under his skin I call them his dolls), hanging action figures from the ceiling to look like they're flying...just like the 40 year old virgin. Except he's not a virgin, he was married and has 2 kids and 7 grandkids, he had a normal work life and home life (except when he was married he wasn't allowed to display his beloved actions figures). Granted, he doesn't actually play with them, but he does still read his comics.
And the comics he's collected for the past 50-some years have paid off, he has them insured for more than $25,000.
I got a lot of empathy for this kid -14 for me was not Disneyland
I was on the poor side of town people wanted me to be “normal” no parents
The “normal”- lots of them got killed wounded or ended up drug addicts during Vietnam and a lot went to prison
“Normal” has never worked for me
As to the young girls -lots of reptiles dressed up like pretty girls- even at 14+
Lots of my friends got eaten by them
The brother of one of my friends was obsessed with "Star Wars" throughout his college years and afterwards. A very bright, artistic young man, he knew every character, every plot, would dress up in costume to attend the movies, collected "Star Wars" toys. etc.
He married a bright young woman he'd known for several years (she loves "Star Wars", too), had three kids, and got a great job designing Star Wars figures and other related toys for a major toy company.
So don't be so quick to knock lingering childhood interests, or fear they may lead to adult disfunction. In this case, they led to a great, creative career.
Strange you are forcing him out of things that are pleasurable for him yet totally harmless. You should not do it and let him do whatever he likes if its not harming him in any way. Its a good sign it does not mean he is not maturing. You should be happy he is not into some hideous type of plays biys of this age involve into.
I have a 14 year old son who primarily lives with me, his mother has him during the summer and on most weekends, and some holidays.
Our divorce was amicable and happened when he was 8, we live in the same town and there's not much bad blood between us. He was not really traumatized by the divorce.
Anyway, he is very smart academically, but emotionally seems to be years behind the other kids. He still plays with his toys and will not let go of his stuffed animals he has had since he was a little child. He literally still sleeps with one specific one.
I have tried to separate him from the toys in the last couple of years, but he wont. He has boxes of old toys he only occasionally plays with, and TONS of legos.
I figured that he would eventually be growing out of this phase, he's in 8th grade, going into high school next year, but he's 14 going on 10 emotionally.
At what point should I be legitimately concerned about this? It's not normal. I recently started asking him what he wants for Christmas, and let him create an Amazon "wish list". It's full of toys and a couple more stuffed animals.
I stopped buying him toys a few years back. I won't do it. I buy him books, and video games, board games which he also loves, challenging stuff. His mom and other relatives still do. I have brought it up to his mom too and she sees nothing wrong with it. I see them as enabling it.
Looking back on myself at that age, I gave up toys when I was about 10 or 11, maybe sooner. He has no diagnosed mental deficiencies or handicaps, I just don't know what to do. He's always been socially awkward, but honestly I was too at that age, I know middle school can be rough. But he's way behind and I am worried. This christmas list thing really has me concerned... he turns 15 in March
Oh, also, girls. Is still of the mindset that girls have cuties, wants nothing to do with them. Recently went to a middle school dance just so he didn't have to ride the bus home (no, I had to pick him up). I asked him if he danced with any girls, or talked to them, he said, oooh, no. I asked what did you do the whole time, he sat on the bleachers and read a book.
My 12 y/o stepson is the same way. He has a monkey he got when he was born that he sleeps with & brings everywhere & it’s falling apart also. It’s been very well-loved. My stepson is still very much a little kid, his mother babies him so it might be different. I’m not sure what age they stop kind of thing.
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