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Of course, had I conceived in my wildest nightmare that leaving Karl might mean losing him, I would have sacrificed anything. I would have quit my job. I would have carried him around on my back collecting recycling cans and bottles. Endured any economic hardship.
That's what many parents do. Tighten their belts, downsize, give things up. So they can raise their kids. Frankly, we don't know what killed him - it may have killed him even at home. But if you're interested in the well-being of the nation, it starts with the well-being of kids and being raised by loving parents, not total strangers.
Why, why does a parent in this country have to sacrifice her job, her ability to provide her child with proper health care —- or for many worse off than me, enough food to eat — to buy just a few more months to nurture a child past the point of vulnerability?
Because you have to sacrifice one thing to get another. "Having it all" is a myth.
And kids are vulnerable their whole childhood. Not just when they're babies. They need their parents.
How on earth did it become normal to hand a weeks old baby to total strangers who have 4 or 5 or 8 other tiny babies to care for? How did it become normal to devalue what a mother does and gives to her child?
That's what is messed up. Not how much leave you have. But telling mothers that they are so insignificant and worthless that a total stranger can replace her.
Oh here we go again with the working mother guilt-tripping. Give me a damn break. A daycare worker doesn't "raise" a working parent's kids. Diapering, burping, and feeding a child for 8 hours doesn't constitute "raising" the child. In addition, who are you to tell people to give things up and confine themselves to the home? Women work for a variety of reasons and that's their choice. No one, and I mean no one has the right to be so sanctimonious when it comes to a personal choice. And I, for one, am sick of the sexism. A woman should stay home and care for the kids and I suppose the father brings home the bread. Ever thought that many men wouldn't mind spending time with their children too? Going to work is as a normal thing, about as normal as brushing your teeth. I am a partner in the marriage - a mother, wife, and a bread earner. I like that. My kids are fine.
What happened in the article is most unfortunate, but truthfully, there are so many kids in daycare (including myself when I was younger) and they are ok. I have no recollections of my experiences with daycare workers, but I do have fond memories of my mother and grandmother, so that thinking is flawed. And using this tragedy as a platform to assail working mothers is disgusting.
I fully agree that the US is really lacking when it comes to leave. I don't fully make the connection between the day care death and her leave situation, though. The day care provider was unlicensed. That's the biggest red flag for me in this story.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 11-20-2015 at 12:07 PM..
How about crusading for a parent to actually raise their own kids?
Kids die at daycare at any age.
Of course, they can die in the custody of their parents, too.
This woman is focusing on all the wrong things as she lashes out in grief.
How about you open your eyes and your mind and realize that "raising a kid" doesn't happen only between the hours of 8 and 5, M-F? Day care providers keep kids alive and fed, and provide activities and interaction during the work day. They do not "raise" kids. Parents raise kids. Parents instill values, teach right from wrong, teach life skills, provide a home life, a soft place to fall, a shoulder to dry on. They steer kids through the different phases of life. I could go on and on.
Are your kids school age yet? When they are, and they are out of your care for 7 hours/day, does that mean you will no longer be raising them?
Please stop being so utterly judgmental and closed minded. I'd rather my kids be raised by an open-minded, well rounded working mom, than a closed-minded stay at home mom any day.
Other than professing your views on CD, what have YOU done to "crusade" for parents to be able to stay home with their kids? Do you "crusade" for higher wages or other family-friendly policies or laws? Do you write your representatives and ask them to enact laws that will help middle class families? Do you even vote for candidates who support such things? Somehow I doubt it.
This is such a horrible story. But her feelings are in direct conflict with what people have been insisting for years - that daycare is just as good (if not better!) than being cared for by a parent. So she's got an uphill battle with this.
Day care is not as good or better then being cared for by a parent. Give me a break.
I find reading these replies really funny. In a previous post of mine I got slammed for being a stay at home mom. Slammed hard! Now people are going after working moms? Wow. Basically there is just no answer. Maybe we should force mass sterilization and die out totally since none of us seem to be doing it right
Day care is not as good or better then being cared for by a parent. Give me a break.
It depends, in terms of academics, yes, the daycare teachers are much better than me, I studied economics not children's early development. Until I got my first child I had no idea what they should/can learn at what age. It would have been a total disservice for my child to be with me all the time, she would have been delayed in terms of her knowledge, I would have babied her for much longer than she needed.
In terms of other more "soft" skills, a parent is much better if they really know their child, you know when they lie or make excuses or they are really upset or just kidding... You can do this even if your child is in daycare or school for x hours a day.
Which third world countries exactly? I'm skeptical of that claim.
Though most companies in the US offer maternity leave for 6-12 weeks it is not MANDATED at the federal level like most of the rest of the world and there is no guaranteed job protection either (some individual states have job protection and/or mandated leave). An employer in the US can fire a woman on maternity leave if so desired.
When you choose to work and have children you also choose all of the limitations that come with working for someone else.
As tragic as this child's death is the same could have happened even if he had been home with his Mother.
If it happened at home, she would have known for sure it was unpreventable. He was kicking about a half hour before and sleeping in an unsafe position, my guess is that he rolled over and suffocated because he could not roll back. She will be haunted by the unknowns for the rest of her life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks
I don't agree with that because a parent chooses the timing of when the pregnancy and birth occurs. An employee doesn't choose when he/she will have an accident, need surgery, or his/her parents will need full time care at home. Example: I had shoulder surgery for repeated shoulder dislocations in one arm, waited as long as possible, but then ended up needing it in the other as well. It was a blessing that I had FMLA and great insurance to pay for the surgeries because I was unable to lift my arms above my head, which made doing just about anything impossible. Unfortunately, I ended up losing my home to foreclosure because I couldn't pay the mortgage from being off work so long. Paid parental leave? It is the right thing for mothers, fathers, and their newborns. But placing the needs of employees duing a chosen life event over employees who different issues unrelated to parenting once again displays preferential treatment of employees who are parents over employees who aren't ( or at least don't have that particular problem going on).
No, half of all pregnancies are unintended, including my first one. Surprise! Even if your child bearing plans work out exactly how you desired, there are still unknowns, like you may go into labor prematurely and you and/or your baby may need to be hospitalized for weeks or months. This should be recognized and covered.
Which third world countries exactly? I'm skeptical of that claim
Quote:
Originally Posted by CubsFan20
I am too. Outside of like Germany, and the Netherlands/Denmark/Sweeden type places I think that claim is completely false.
No, it's not false. In Russia and some other post-Soviet countries women get up to three YEARS of paid maternity leave. The pay is paltry though, so many of them try to get back to work sooner.
Note only 4 countries do not mandate paid leave - Liberia, Swaziland, Papua New Guinea and the United States
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