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I didn't say all video games are evil or have no value. My kids play mine craft on the computer...quite a bit. It's our goal to get their overall screen time down though, so adding a new exciting screen is not what we want for them. If someone bought them one without checking with me, I'd be really upset. Just one more headache for me when they beg constantly to play it (or worse, sneak up at night to play).
Yeah, I'm guessing someone's parents limited videogames and insisted homework get done instead.
I'm glad someone else gets that. My in-laws go way over the top with Christmas and sometimes I feel like they are trying to buy my kids (they like to remind them that that toy or shirt or whatever came from them) or out do us. My husband doesn't make tons of money, so we don't get to buy them stuff that often so we try to get them special things at Christmas, but then here comes the truckload of goodies from gma and gpa. Usually they don't get overly expensive things, but the quantity is a lot.
They have bought some expensive things without asking though and it kinda irks me. My BIL got our daughter a bike a couple years ago and I was crushed, because your first bike is something you always remember and it was definitely something that I wanted to come from us. My husband felt the same way, so we thanked BIL and told him our feelings, then returned it (daughter never saw it), but ever since BIL has only sent gift cards (I think that has more to do with getting married though as we have barely been a blip on his radar since then). We also said no to a large backyard play structure. Thankfully they had to ask us something about it before they ordered it, otherwise I think it would have just shown up! (We were debating a move across town BTW, that we weren't ready to discuss; we followed through, so it would have been a waste of money.)
Idk, getting big gifts from someone other than us just feels inappropriate to me, especially without prior consent.
So let me see if I'm understanding this, YOUR family is spoiling your children and you have a problem with it?
Get over it and be glad they want to spend time with and spoil your children.
Will it be any different when your family wants to help with college expenses? Or is this animosity towards generosity only towards holidays?
Keep the above in mind when you get your first $22,000 bill for tuition.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
I just have to share this true story.
We used to know the owner of a very large traveling carnival back in the 1980s. It was not one of those tiny, rinky-dink carnivals that set up in vacant lots or on church grounds for church festivals. They used to be the carnival at several state fairs, so you know that it was huge.
Well, grandpa loved his little grand-daughter and, as a surprise to her & her parents, he purchased, had delivered & installed a full size, carnival ride, carrousel in their back-yard for his two year old granddaughter. Neither the parents, nor the neighbors, nor the city zoning commission were very happy with him. Grandpa was totally befuddled why anyone would be upset with his gift.
I remember him telling the story to a small group of friends & employees that were mostly parents. Everyone who was listening were rolling their eyes or in amazement that he even tried to do something like that, but Grandpa never did seem to "get" that what he did was inappropriate. He kept saying "But, Katie (his granddaughter) loves to ride carrousels! Why would anyone care or be upset if I bought Katie her own carrousel?"
Now, that is an example of why some of the posters are complaining about extravagant gifts.
I'm befuddled why everyone found it necessary to crap all over Grandpa's excitement and love for his granddaughter.
It made grandpa happy and granddaughter is too young to be spoiled scarred from it.
Why should anyone put in more hours than 60 per week?
Apparently the OP's parents should have (but didn't) or he wouldn't be here pouting instead of doing his homework or looking for ways to earn money to purchase the toys he wants.
Fifty/sixty years ago my parents gave one Christmas present to each of their children and it was from Santa. It was something fairly modest but appropriate like a toy telephone, a doll, basketball, or a stationary set. My parents felt that Christmas was primarily a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and not to give gifts.
My best friend lived across the street and her parents gave, I'm guessing, five largish gifts from Santa and ten smaller gifts from them to each of their six children. Plus both sets of grandparents gave multiple gifts to each child.
In my neighborhood it was a tradition to visit your friends houses to "see what they got for Christmas". It was always a shock, and very puzzling, for my siblings & me to visit this neighbor and see, probably, 100 plus gifts under the tree. It was like a toy store in their living room. (BTW, this family was NOT wealthy. As an adult, I learned that the parents scrimped and saved and were very, very frugal all year to provide such a bounty at Christmas time.)
As a young child, it did seem very strange that Mary received a doll, plus a doll house with furniture, plus multiple doll outfits, plus a bike, plus a new sweater and skirt set from Santa and I received a doll.
I was very happy with my doll, but, as a child, I always wondered why Santa would do things like that.
My children really did not have that many similar situations (but they did have a few) as they did not visit their friends and actually see their presents. Usually the kids would just tell each other on the phone or at school what they received so there would be as much impact.
I was an 80's kid. I was bullied for being poor. I went to school in thrift clothes which were clean and nice, but sometimes kids knew their old pants, or rubber boots. hah and we didn't have the stuff they did like new video game systems or a TV for just the kids and our house was smaller then some. Found out when I was older, they made more money then a most of my peers. The difference was, devastating news or job loss (only dad worked) and they could keep the house afloat for like half a year without worry about it being taken by the bank, or water/gas/electric being disconnected. That never did happen.
Anyway, We got one gift each. I liked animals, so it would have been a single my little pony. In today's dollars about a $10 toy per kid- marked from "santa". We also got one "family" gift for all of us from our parents. like a board game. We got a gift on birthday or at Christmas. that's it, with very rare exceptions to that.
I like what you said about santa-
I figured it out quick. I wasn't in kindergarten yet. My father was SO mad my mom fessed up when I kept questioning her and blamed her for "ruining childhood magic" for me. Honestly, I was happy about it. I felt really bad I wasn't allowed to tell the santa truth in grade school to some of the children who really believed and thought that santa hated them for whatever reason. There seemed to always be one downright nasty kid in class who got absolutely "showered" in presents from santa, and few other kids questioning why Santa would only give them something small (sadly, some nothing) and they KNEW they were good, and give so much for another kid who tried to beat us up at recess and swore at his parents- santa sees it all, right?
Anyway, if I had children, I would be highly uncomfortable with them getting lavish presents from others. I really appreciate the frugal upbringing we had. I LOVED what I got, and took care of my things I didn't have a toystore so everything was appreciated and had value. As an adult, I don't seek items to provide fulfillment and am happy and appreciate the now and understand the value of money and work. I like nice things, I do own some luxury items, but I have no need to impress someone else. I see so many of my peers that keep trying to buy stuff and are in oodles of debt in an attempt to buy happy, or prove that they made it.
That's just my personal thing though. I have a friend who lavishes her children at Christmas and didn't "ruin" her kids. She enjoys the shopping, wrapping, over the top decorating. More toys for one kid then my parents 5 ever got. and her daughter IS intelligent, loving, kind and well rounded. The stuff is nice but she'd choose time with her family over her stuff.
Oh, we also did stockings. Small handful of "icy squares" a Canadian confectionery, candy cane, mandarin oranges, toothbrush, toothpaste and socks. I still smile if I see icy squares at a checkout.
It's not about making yourself (and your gifts) look good, it's about never looking a gift horse in the mouth. Once you get that these kind of "problems" go away!
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I still smile if I see icy squares at a checkout.
