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Christmas is coming! How do you feel about people giving your children extravagant gifts? Does it make a difference if they ask first? Have you ever turned down the offer of a gift?
I think if someone wants to buy an extravagant gift, they should run it by the parents.
For practicality...the kid might have it, or the parents might not approve of it, or the parents or Santa might be bringing it. There might not be room in the house for it.
For politeness...most people run gifts by me for the above mentioned reasons. But if it's expensive, it could dwarf what the parents are giving and that's...I don't know, not cool.
Yep, anything big should be run by the parents, bottom line.
I can't think of a time of turned down a gift. Every year Santa brings a big and special gift for our kids. And we get them several smaller gifts. My kids love the idea of Santa. It's been fun. But my mom figured it out several years ago when my big boys were still young and before my little ones were born. Every year she would ask me what Santa was bringing. And I would tell her. She would say "oh well that's what I am getting for them" (despite her low income). I learned to not buy it until I told her so I didn't have to do a return. I don't have a relationship with her now, but I wish I had just out my foot down on that nonsense early on. Nope mom, that's what Santa is bringing. You got to come up with another idea.
Christmas is coming! How do you feel about people giving your children extravagant gifts? Does it make a difference if they ask first? Have you ever turned down the offer of a gift?
I have never had anyone give my children an extravagant gift.
I think if someone wants to buy an extravagant gift, they should run it by the parents.
For practicality...the kid might have it, or the parents might not approve of it, or the parents or Santa might be bringing it. There might not be room in the house for it.
For politeness...most people run gifts by me for the above mentioned reasons. But if it's expensive, it could dwarf what the parents are giving and that's...I don't know, not cool.
Yep, anything big should be run by the parents, bottom line.
I'm glad someone else gets that. My in-laws go way over the top with Christmas and sometimes I feel like they are trying to buy my kids (they like to remind them that that toy or shirt or whatever came from them) or out do us. My husband doesn't make tons of money, so we don't get to buy them stuff that often so we try to get them special things at Christmas, but then here comes the truckload of goodies from gma and gpa. Usually they don't get overly expensive things, but the quantity is a lot.
They have bought some expensive things without asking though and it kinda irks me. My BIL got our daughter a bike a couple years ago and I was crushed, because your first bike is something you always remember and it was definitely something that I wanted to come from us. My husband felt the same way, so we thanked BIL and told him our feelings, then returned it (daughter never saw it), but ever since BIL has only sent gift cards (I think that has more to do with getting married though as we have barely been a blip on his radar since then). We also said no to a large backyard play structure. Thankfully they had to ask us something about it before they ordered it, otherwise I think it would have just shown up! (We were debating a move across town BTW, that we weren't ready to discuss; we followed through, so it would have been a waste of money.)
Idk, getting big gifts from someone other than us just feels inappropriate to me, especially without prior consent.
Christmas is coming! How do you feel about people giving your children extravagant gifts? Does it make a difference if they ask first? Have you ever turned down the offer of a gift?
It depends who is giving it and, more importantly, what it is. If it's a questionable item (i.e. for safety reasons) like technology, weapons, etc (yes, I do realize I'm lumping the two together), then yes, it should be approved by mom first. Otherwise, I don't have much objection.
As for the giver, well, my ex likes to give my son extravagant gifts. The upside to having full custody is that I can decide if/when my son gets to use them. He's still of the age that I get little resistance, but I'm sure this will get more tough as he ages.
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