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Word to the wise..you definitely need to discipline your daughter....but if you report it to her manager there is always the possibility that the manager may discuss it with others, one of whom may contact the police or health department, or someone may tell the customer if that customer is a regular...other employees may do this even if the manager decides not to, and that customer may contact authorities.. And if there are felony charges and her eighteenth birthday is mere months away there is the distinct possibility, depending on the laws of your state, that she may be charged as an adult which, of course, would give her a criminal record for life. A serious matter but it may be better to deal with this one in house. If she doesn't have any more respect for food safety than that she has no business working in the food service industry, and if she can't handle rude and disrespectful people without getting even than she, right now, isn't suited for a service industry job. This doesn't mean she is a bad person, it just means she has some growing up to do. She needs to learn that sometimes it is OK to not act on your anger or impulses, that does not make you a pushover. And you can use the fact that you decided not to go to her manager to create the impression that you are being reasonable with her and are concerned about her...this may keep her anger at bay enough to get her to buy in a little more to what you are telling her while still getting across to her how very serious this sort of behavior is. Also point out to her that in addition to possible criminal and job penalties she could be liable for civil damages for the costs of any medical screenings the customer might take to ensure that they had not contracted a disease from the saliva...HIV, hepatitis, etc and for emotional distress incurred while worrying about that possibility.
If she can't handle rude and disrespectful people then she isn't suited for anything. Food service workers don't have the market cornered on having clients who think they own you.
No, it really doesn't "happen all the time" and it actually is very unusual. I have worked in a numbe of restaurants the past 10 years and have never worked with anyone who thought tampering with a customer's food was okay. And I have worked with some strange people, but they all had the common sense to not mess with someone's food. It doesn't matter how nasty the person is being. You deal with them for a few minutes over the course of their 30 minute meal, then you never have to see them again.
No, most teenagers do not do things that could get them convicted of a felony.
Maybe that's your experience but I spent twelve years working in all different types of restaurants and I've seen plenty of gross stuff. I only actually saw someone spit in someone's food once but I've seen servers use dirty silverware, serve food that fell on the floor and pick flies out of food. Most of the time it wasn't malicious but it's still disgusting.
I guess I grew up in a different world than most of you but the teens in my neighborhood were bad. We did stuff that could have gotten us in serious trouble. Some of the kids actually did get in trouble but most of us grew up to be normal functioning adults.
I still don't think this girl is destined for a life a crime because she did something stupid when she was 17.
Possibly, of course the discussion is relevant...just today under the current events forum there is a news story out of Chicago of a 19 year old mother who beat her 2 year old to death because she didn't want to eat her noodles
Why are you dictating this to the mother as if you were a judge?
Former social worker for over a decade.
I've seen plenty of judges in action.
And I do know how it plays out, over and over, when parents don't impose any meaningful consequences on minors who act out in malicious, dangerous ways.
Pretty soon the newly-minted 18 year old 'adult' gets to go meet the judge.
Judge doesn't care about Little Missy's feelings once Missy turns 18.
Judge laments that Little Missy's mom did not teach her that actions have consequences.
$0.02 cheerfully refundable. But I do know from whence I speak.
IMO, the only job this child is qualified for, based on her supposed actions, is Waste Treatment Plant Operator. There isn't much one can do to "ruin" raw sewage!
"Sentence" her to her room, school and nowhere else for that time period. Strip her room of all luxuries and entertainments. Pick out five very plain, modest outfits, put them in her closet and remove everything else. No entertainment. School books only. Plus a weekly selection of books you bring home for her from the public library.
Lockdown.
Of course she must lose the job. She is a hazard to the general public!
You can call the manager to accomplish this. Or better yet, you oversee her making the call.
If she drives, take her car keys.
Take her cell phone and laptop. Any schoolwork on the computer must be done in the living room, where you and others can observe. Nothing but schoolwork only.
School, homework, chores, plain modest clothes, a few edifying books of your choice.
She can earn some few extremely small privileges for abiding by your rules, like any convict.
But make her serve out the full maximum of her "sentence" for what was a very real crime.
Wait, you forgot some things:
Emblazon "[Your last name] Dept. of Corrections" on the front and back of all her clothes.
Give her a commissary account ("books") she can earn by doing chores and such, and spend on extras like beef jerky and coffee packets.
She can only shop for commissary items on Saturdays between 6:00 AM and 8:00 AM. If she misses the time, she's SOL.
Serve breakfast at 5:00 AM, lunch at 10:00 AM, dinner at 4:00 PM. Other food must come from the commissary.
She must be in her room during the daily count.
She must return from work release (school) no later than 3:30 PM, unless formally authorized by [Your last name] Dept. of Corrections.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 12-06-2015 at 09:01 AM..
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