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If you would have read from the beginning you would see she is also incredibly disturbed and when mom chimed back in she basically decided to pretend nothing happened even though there was a semi-road raging incident regarding her daughter too. So she either doesn't give a S*it, or she is afraid of her. Either way I don't care. I think the legal system will probably take care of her soon enough since she is an adult soon.
Sorry, but you are reaching with your self diagnosis here. Flipping off someone who nearly hits you is not a sign that a person is a delusional psychopath. If that was the case most of New York Cities driving public would have been locked up.
" Daughter tampered with a customer's food should I tell her manager? "
I'd march her in there and the two of you sit down with the manager. Have her give her resignation and apologize for the food tampering. How you handle it after that is up to you. You know your kid, we don't. Losing her job and the humiliation might make her shape up. If not, she probably has a social disorder and needs counseling.
In what way was the customer rude/mean to your daughter? If there is fuzz or any type of foreign matter on the plate it isn't unreasonable for the customer to be angry. Unfortunately, your daughter was the server and the first person in the restaurant that she would encounter. So, if she was nasty it is understandable. Not saying it is right, just relating from past experiences as both customer and employee.
Ask your daughter how she would feel if a waitress has done the same to her food. She also needs to realize that diseases can be spread through saliva and what she did is not only stupid and immature, but could also be dangerous.
You have got to be kidding me. Absolutely the daughter should be punished and a great way is to make her face the consequences including criminal consequences (if any). If she's into the revenge thing at this early an age, she may be a budding sociopath and not only needs psychiatric intervention, but legal intervention. Dear old Mom is the best person to do that, and she needs to show her kid that this type of behavior is unacceptable. Taking away her X-Box won't do a thing.
You seem focused on "punishment" or in other words "pain" as opposed to helping the girl correct her ways. The police state is not a place or system to help anyone. You must have a lot of trust in government because they have a proven track record of being fair, just and sensible.
And I care enough about my children to teach them that they aren't exempt from rules and laws. Children that don't learn that, become adults that learn it the hard way. I'd rather my child learn that life lesson when the rules aren't that tough. To each their own.
Again, a friend's son even said himself, had he been held accountable for his actions when he was younger, he likely wouldn't have gotten into the trouble he did when he was old enough to sit in jail for a few years and now have it on his permanent record as an adult. Teach them young, or the world will teach them for you.
You would not be helping your child by subjecting him or her to the abusive police state. Two wrongs don't make a right. By not handling it quietly but broadcasting it to others and opening up ones daughter to criminal liability, one guarantees the daughter will be wronged and that does nothing to redress the daughters poor actions. Treating abuse with abuse will only mean there is more abuse. It's a parents job to raise a child, not the government's or police state.
As a single mom, you probably don't have time to be a jailer for your child. Her income might also be necessary, at least to pay for her extras.
I wouldn't call her manager. Just look up what kind of legal trouble she could get into, and let her know there could be consequences for her actions. I'm sure she's imitating what she's seen older coworkers do or videos on YouTube from disgruntled restaurant workers. It doesn't make it right, but once she realizes that it's not a joke and that there can be consequences, she'll probably stop.
Also, some kids don't tell the truth...she might have been lying to impress her friend, or telling a story about what she wished she had done rather to the rude customer.
True. Can't tell you how many times I've seen this. Someone talks about doing something to settle the score with a customer and you say "Wow! You actually, really did that?!" and they reply with "well, no, but..."
You can not compare a teen's emotional response to that of an adult's. Our brains are totally different. It's the equivalent of holding a two year old to the same standards as a ten year old or a ten year old to the same standards as an 18 year old. It's impossible and out of line.
Here is an article about a 17 year olds emotional development. It even includes a work related example .
What she did was gross and wrong on all levels, but it is spot on with her development. Again, teens can not think logically, especially in the heat of the moment, and do not connect actions with consequences.
Here is a perfect example of a felonious act that teens commit all the time without realizing the dangerous risks they are taking: sexting. Teens think it is so fun and grown up to send naked photos of themselves to their boyfriends and girlfriends. Do you all honestly believe that the 14-17 year old girls realize that taking a nude, suggestively posed photo of themselves is child pornography? Do you think the 14-17, even 18 year old boy's who view these photos realize they are looking at child pornography? When that girlfriend breaks up with that boyfriend and he seeks revenge by texting her nude photos out to all his friends, do you think he knows that he just distributed child pornography? No they don't. They don't have a clue. They just see it as a nude photo, a fun time and a mean prank, but it could easily land them in jail.
Someone responded to one of the mom's quotes where she said she explained things to her daughter and she just rolled her eyes. I couldn't find the OP, but mom THAT IS NORMAL. It is completely normal for teens to downplay consequences and act like it was no big deal. She is just trying to avoid embarrassment and justify her actions in her head, because she FELT wronged, but KEEP TALKING. Keep the discussion open in a calm respectful manner, remind her of the consequences, ask her how she thinks THE PATRON felt, force her to empathize, she IS listening. That is how you move past this.
True. Can't tell you how many times I've seen this. Someone talks about doing something to settle the score with a customer and you say "Wow! You actually, really did that?!" and they reply with "well, no, but..."
Yes, that does happen, but the mom did confront the girl and she didn't deny her story.
I haven't read the whole thread but here are my 2 cents.
When I was 16 I had my first job at a soda fountain located in the back of pharmacy. One of my coworkers was a 16-year-old guy I'd known most of my life. A girl came into the restaurant who he didn't like and ordered a tuna fish sandwich. For no real reason other than to be mean, he spit into it before he served it to her.
He did not grow up a psycho, or embark on a life of crime. To the contrary, he's a business owner who makes good money and is good to his children.
It's certain a nasty thing to do and as a parent I'd roundly condemn it, but without more it's not a sign that the person is going to be a criminal.
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