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My husband seems to be making an issue out of everything these days. My niece (my deceased sister's daughter) lives with my parents, her grandparents. They gave her their old car to drive about a year ago cause they both got new cars. It's a 2003 Kia Optima. Not in the best of shape but it runs. Well, now that she's away at college they are letting my youngest son drive it to get back and forth to school and work. He's 19 years old. About a month ago he noticed that the windshield had a pretty sizeable spiderweb crack on it and asked what happened. He, my son said that he and his older brother were arguing and that he threw his cell phone at it and cracked it. He said that since it's not his car to damage they both needed to replace the windshield. Well, that hasn't happened.
Ok, yesterday I told my husband that my son (from my first marriage) had been driving around using his high beam headlights because both the low beams had blown out. In our state that's illegal to do so. My husband spoke with my son and asked why he hadn't gotten them replaced yet and he said that he didn't feel like spending his money since the high beams worked. My husband said that he could get a ticket and then my son said that he had already been stopped by the police for it. My husband was furious because he feels that since the car is technically not my son's he's not taking any responsibility for it. He thinks all he has to do is drive it. He has to keep reminding him to change the oil and other regular maintenance on it.
I just told my husband that in speaking with my mom she said that when they gave the car to him one of the headlights was out and she thought you have to buy an entirely new headlight housing so she never mentioned it to my dad. My husband looked it up and 2 bulbs would run about $30 at Auto Zone but my son said he didn't want to spend his money so he'd rather drive around with his high beams on which again, is illegal not to mention very distracting to oncoming traffic.
My husband feels that we should take the car from him for a while since he's not taking full responsibility for it. He said that headlights blow of cars and it's either the car owner or the driver who needs to take responsibility to fix it. I don't think we need to take it from him caus then he won't be able to get to school or work. Or course my husband said "public transportation runs everyday."
Why isn't my husband just letting this go and moving on to something more important? I told him I'd make my son fix the headlights but my husband feels that I'm going to give him the money to fix it even though he has a job.
Yes, this is the same kid who announced over Thanksgiving dinner that he and his 20 year old girlfriend were expecting and that they planned it cause they feel they are ready for a baby. He's taking graphic design classes now and wants to start his own business but my husband feels that starting a business and having a baby isn't something you do simply because you've taken a few graphic design classes. My husband says that "you're living at home with us, driving someone else's car and working a seasonal job that will be over in a month or so. What makes you think you're ready for a baby?" I personally think that my husband is a little too hard on him. He needs to learn and make his own mistakes. My husband says that a baby isn't a trial and error thing. You can't just go buy another one if this one breaks or dies. He can be a little dramatic. Why won't he let this car thing go?
Who knows. But he is correct that lights should be fixed, driving around with your brights on is irresponsible and dangerous. He is also correct, that the person who is using the vehicle should take care of it. Maybe he wont let it go, because he is actually right. However, it seems that maybe this isn't really about the headlights...
My husband seems to be making an issue out of everything these days. My niece (my deceased sister's daughter) lives with my parents, her grandparents. They gave her their old car to drive about a year ago cause they both got new cars. It's a 2003 Kia Optima. Not in the best of shape but it runs. Well, now that she's away at college they are letting my youngest son drive it to get back and forth to school and work. He's 19 years old. About a month ago he noticed that the windshield had a pretty sizeable spiderweb crack on it and asked what happened. He, my son said that he and his older brother were arguing and that he threw his cell phone at it and cracked it. He said that since it's not his car to damage they both needed to replace the windshield. Well, that hasn't happened.
Ok, yesterday I told my husband that my son (from my first marriage) had been driving around using his high beam headlights because both the low beams had blown out. In our state that's illegal to do so. My husband spoke with my son and asked why he hadn't gotten them replaced yet and he said that he didn't feel like spending his money since the high beams worked. My husband said that he could get a ticket and then my son said that he had already been stopped by the police for it. My husband was furious because he feels that since the car is technically not my son's he's not taking any responsibility for it. He thinks all he has to do is drive it. He has to keep reminding him to change the oil and other regular maintenance on it.
I just told my husband that in speaking with my mom she said that when they gave the car to him one of the headlights was out and she thought you have to buy an entirely new headlight housing so she never mentioned it to my dad. My husband looked it up and 2 bulbs would run about $30 at Auto Zone but my son said he didn't want to spend his money so he'd rather drive around with his high beams on which again, is illegal not to mention very distracting to oncoming traffic.
My husband feels that we should take the car from him for a while since he's not taking full responsibility for it. He said that headlights blow of cars and it's either the car owner or the driver who needs to take responsibility to fix it. I don't think we need to take it from him caus then he won't be able to get to school or work. Or course my husband said "public transportation runs everyday."
Why isn't my husband just letting this go and moving on to something more important? I told him I'd make my son fix the headlights but my husband feels that I'm going to give him the money to fix it even though he has a job.
Yes, this is the same kid who announced over Thanksgiving dinner that he and his 20 year old girlfriend were expecting and that they planned it cause they feel they are ready for a baby. He's taking graphic design classes now and wants to start his own business but my husband feels that starting a business and having a baby isn't something you do simply because you've taken a few graphic design classes. My husband says that "you're living at home with us, driving someone else's car and working a seasonal job that will be over in a month or so. What makes you think you're ready for a baby?" I personally think that my husband is a little too hard on him. He needs to learn and make his own mistakes. My husband says that a baby isn't a trial and error thing. You can't just go buy another one if this one breaks or dies. He can be a little dramatic. Why won't he let this car thing go?
I can't disagree with your husband. It appears to me that he's trying to get your son to take responsibility for replacing the headlights - which he should.
And if he's too lazy or can't afford $30 to replace the headlight bulbs, he's certainly not ready for the responsibility of a child.
I'm with the husband.
Your son has not shown the ability to recognize and taken any responsibilities for the broken windshield and headlights and has shown poor judgement in impregnating a girl without the ability to provide for them.
How can he learn anything when you are overlooking all his mistakes and with him avoiding all consequences?
He's 19 and doesn't know any better ... who's going to show him?
My husband seems to be making an issue out of everything these days. My niece (my deceased sister's daughter) lives with my parents, her grandparents. They gave her their old car to drive about a year ago cause they both got new cars. It's a 2003 Kia Optima. Not in the best of shape but it runs. Well, now that she's away at college they are letting my youngest son drive it to get back and forth to school and work. He's 19 years old. About a month ago he noticed that the windshield had a pretty sizeable spiderweb crack on it and asked what happened. He, my son said that he and his older brother were arguing and that he threw his cell phone at it and cracked it. He said that since it's not his car to damage they both needed to replace the windshield. Well, that hasn't happened.
Ok, yesterday I told my husband that my son (from my first marriage) had been driving around using his high beam headlights because both the low beams had blown out. In our state that's illegal to do so. My husband spoke with my son and asked why he hadn't gotten them replaced yet and he said that he didn't feel like spending his money since the high beams worked. My husband said that he could get a ticket and then my son said that he had already been stopped by the police for it. My husband was furious because he feels that since the car is technically not my son's he's not taking any responsibility for it. He thinks all he has to do is drive it. He has to keep reminding him to change the oil and other regular maintenance on it.
I just told my husband that in speaking with my mom she said that when they gave the car to him one of the headlights was out and she thought you have to buy an entirely new headlight housing so she never mentioned it to my dad. My husband looked it up and 2 bulbs would run about $30 at Auto Zone but my son said he didn't want to spend his money so he'd rather drive around with his high beams on which again, is illegal not to mention very distracting to oncoming traffic.
My husband feels that we should take the car from him for a while since he's not taking full responsibility for it. He said that headlights blow of cars and it's either the car owner or the driver who needs to take responsibility to fix it. I don't think we need to take it from him caus then he won't be able to get to school or work. Or course my husband said "public transportation runs everyday."
Why isn't my husband just letting this go and moving on to something more important? I told him I'd make my son fix the headlights but my husband feels that I'm going to give him the money to fix it even though he has a job.
Yes, this is the same kid who announced over Thanksgiving dinner that he and his 20 year old girlfriend were expecting and that they planned it cause they feel they are ready for a baby. He's taking graphic design classes now and wants to start his own business but my husband feels that starting a business and having a baby isn't something you do simply because you've taken a few graphic design classes. My husband says that "you're living at home with us, driving someone else's car and working a seasonal job that will be over in a month or so. What makes you think you're ready for a baby?" I personally think that my husband is a little too hard on him. He needs to learn and make his own mistakes. My husband says that a baby isn't a trial and error thing. You can't just go buy another one if this one breaks or dies. He can be a little dramatic. Why won't he let this car thing go?
Congratulations, you have raised a very irresponsible non adult.
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