Quote:
Originally Posted by serpithueban
Step.
I pay all the bills period. Wife doesn't work. She might buy some clothes here and there and school lunch from her savings but that's really it.
This child has been a underpeformer since the day I met her (2008)
He's supporting his new family and hasn't paid child support since probably 2006 (I didn't know my wife back then). My wife is too much of a chicken **** to take him back to court and do what is right and give me a break by getting this pathetic chump (who never sees his kid) to pay for anything.
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I feel for you, and I am a woman.
You are feeling a tremendous amount of anger.
And your current situation is
untenable.
Rather than thinking about looming, unpredictable, and downward spiralling life events, start yourself a plan of research, mental health relief, comradery, and looking at options. A multi-faceted approach.
Legal: Consult with a family law specialist attorney. Do it from the perspective of looking at legal options of A) Getting the soon-to-be-freeloading underachiever out of the house, ie hardcore eviction, or B) Divorce, ie property division, custody of you two joint children, support obligations (if any) to non-working wife.
Emotional: You are far from the first or only man who has found himself in this situation. You work your hindquarters off, then come home to what you are subsidizing: Housewife who probably doesn't appreciate how easy she has it, and aimless, underachieving quite-nearly-adult teen who is not yours, and small kids who are. You definitely need to get into individual, goal-oriented counselling. Emphasis on both the individual and the goal-oriented parts (for now at least).
You may have an employee advisory resource at work to guide you to a reputable therapist, or ask your physician for a reference.
Put yourself together a good network of buddies, work friends, older male relatives, old college friends -- guys you can unload on.
The attorney you consult should be able to tell you pretty cut and dried what it would cost you to point blank divorce the wife, get rid of the step daughter, and support and be a dad to your own kids.
Then, you can consider your options.
If you and your counsellor go on to tend to think that the wife might get on board with transitioning the stepdaughter on her way, then you and the wife could work with the counsellor to set up an ironclad 'evenly-yoked' plan of action.
If, however, you get it rolled around in your mind that wife is too "chicken***" to move towards getting the irresponsible stepdaughter away from your food trough, then you will have it clear in your mnd what you are facing, and an attorney lined up to represent you.
Play all of this very, very close to the vest. No big blow up, no threats.
Educate yourself about your options.
Decide which option to take
Move forward in a solid, well planned and well-thought out way, without anger, but with a goal of starting life over.
All of this may sound heartless and drastic to many readers.
OP is full of rage, and has lost all respect for his wife and stepdaughter.
Jails, prisons, and cemeteries are full of guys in his position who did nothing and let it all rock along... too long.
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