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I have given my kids a swat in public. I would try to take them to a bathroom or a private area to do it if possible. If not, they'd get a swat where we were. I only had to do it a few times. I agree completely with 5kings (above post). People judge you if you do nothing, and they judge you if you swat. You can't win with other nosy people, but you better win when it comes to your kids! They have to know who is in charge in ALL situations, public or not. If they know you will not follow through in public, you better plan on never taking them out unless you want a scene every time!!
[quote=5kingsinvegas;2724876]I swatted my 5 year old on the bottom during a basketball game the other night. This was after asking her numerous times to stop running up and down the bleachers and to stop screaming. I told her to come and sit by me or in front of me and she refused. I have to say, I really got the impression from the parents around me that they were glad that I finally put my foot down and swatted her.
I would have appreciated you taking control of the situation if I were sitting by you!!
You obviously tried to get her to behave before having to swat. Next time you probably won't have to, now that she knows she'll get a swat if she doesn't listen!
I'd also like to add that it is dangerous for a child to be climbing around on bleachers! I hate seeing kids do this and the parents not making them sit still! They can fall and be seriously injured!!
I don't think that spanking/swatting is terribly effective most of the time, but I have it in my parenting bag of tricks. Never in public... all discipline should be done in private.
I do wonder about parents who hit/seem abusive (more than a quick hand or butt-swat) in public... if you're not ashamed to do that in public, what on earth do you do in private? I feel sorry for those poor kids.
I'm thankful that I have not had too many (can't even seem to recall once actually) that I have had to swat my kids' hineys in public. I made sure that they understand in no uncertain terms when we're at home, that behavior like that will not be tolerated, and that putting us in a situation like that in PUBLIC will have very, very dire consequences when we get home.
A look, "THE look", was thankfully all it took to make them stop.
I don't think that spanking/swatting is terribly effective most of the time, but I have it in my parenting bag of tricks. Never in public... all discipline should be done in private.
I do wonder about parents who hit/seem abusive (more than a quick hand or butt-swat) in public... if you're not ashamed to do that in public, what on earth do you do in private? I feel sorry for those poor kids.
Excuse me, but just because I choose to discipline my children AT THE TIME the behavior happens doesn't mean that I am doing horrible, unspeakable things to them at home. I believe that if you wait until you get home then your child has forgotten what they did in the first place. To me, that is even more confusing!!! It is all about being consistent. My children receive the same discipline no matter where we are... at home, or out in public. That way they know what to expect.
I could not disagree more with this poster's statement that "All discipline should be done in private", that statement is just utterly ridiculous to me.
So, basically, your child can behave however they want to in public because they know you will do nothing about it and chances are, by the time you get home you will have either forgotten to follow through or decide that it was not as big a deal as you thought at the time both equal ZERO consequence for the child.
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey
I think corporal punishment serves its purpose at a certain time and certain place. Nothing wrong with a good ole fashion a** whipping once in awhile. *I* would not use corporal punishment in public. I just read some more posts. I mean spankings......ha ha
Children are like puppies. You have to whup them at the time of the undesired behaviour to have the max effect and discourage them from doing it again. Just like if you are trying to house train a puppy you have to catch him in the act, whup him and put him outside.
chances are, by the time you get home you will have either forgotten to follow through or decide that it was not as big a deal as you thought at the time both equal ZERO consequence for the child.
Hmmmmm. Then maybe it wasn't that big a deal and the parent was just tired and frustrated. IMHO, those are not good circumstances under which to hit a kid. Maybe the idea should be that if, as a parent, you think the kid still needs spanking 30 minutes after the incident, do it then. Otherwise, the kid probably doesn't need a spanking.
Within the last year I was at the grocery store and walked by a very small kid in the toy section--he couldn't have been more than 3. I was wondering why he was there by himself and keeping an eye on him when a very large man came up and started saying things like "What are you doing here? I told you not to come over here." The next think I know the big guy is swatting the little kid and the kid is screaming bloody murder, and continued to scream for what seemed like an eternity.
My thoughts were (1) if anybody needed hitting it was the big guy who failed to keep an eye on his child. Toddlers WILL get distracted and wander. Parents should keep them in sight at all times; (2) a 250-pound man hitting a 25 pound child is just plain wrong and (3) having the kid screaming bloody murder for 15 minutes didn't do the rest of us customers a bit of good and (4) the man so easily could have picked the kid up and carried him back to wherever he needed to be without hitting him.
The same is true of the favorite reason for hitting a toddler who wanders into the street, that "you need to teach him a lesson." If, as the adult, you allow a toddler to wander into the street, you might need a spanking, but the child does not. He's acting like a small child--you're acting like a negligent adult.
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
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It's like I said in my first post. If your wife is doing something wrong - smack her.
If your friend is doing something wrong - smack them.
If your mother is doing something wrong - smack them.
if your pastor/preacher/priest says something stupid - smack them.
I could do this all day.
Some guy says a kid is like a puppy. My point exactly. My kid has a puppy's intellegence, barks like a dog and has fur. OMG!! YOU SPILLED THE MILK!!!AGAIN!!! WHAT DID DADDY SAY!!! OH NO!! DON'T RUN YOU LITTLE %*&$$%#$&*(# COME HERE!! GOTTA "TRAIN" YOU!!!
Yeah.
Just like a puppy.
My puppies are very good puppies. Sort of shy, though. Probably need to beat them some more.
STOP RUNNING AWAY YOU STUPID DOG> !!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!
That's right....when you finish crying....it will all be better. Daddy's not mad now. And you're trained. I'm a GOOD parent. I'm just doing the best I can. Might need to use the fists from time to time, but hey - a man's gotta raise his kids, the way he sees fit.
***************
You can't beat respect into a child. You can beat in fear, though. Fear looks a lot like respect....but its not. Wonderful thing about beating a child. It builds so much self esteem. You wonder...."Will I make Mommy mad today?" "Will Daddy make me hurt again?" "I love Daddy! He hits me and says he loves me too!"
70Ford - I think you've taken this out of context...beating a child is not the same as swatting his hiney. Beating IMO is exercising an undue amount of strength that could cause bodily harm. The parallels you have drawn in your post are extreme and not helpful.
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