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It's almost always in the school handbook somewhere.
And when would we bring it up? Back to school night? Thanks for coming, here is the syllabus, please no gifts?
Yes! That's when you should bring it up. When you have the parents attention without the kids there. "Our school does not accept gifts...instead, if you feel the desire, please donate to our book drive (or what ever)". Not tacky. Complaining about an adorable little one buying you a gift is tacky. Being upfront with parents is good policy.
Some one asked if they have to give teachers presents. So since we were ASKED we volunteered our opinions. You are the one calling names and acting unbecomingly. Of course we say thank you, most of us spend hours and hours writing out and sending thank you cards because we do appreciate the thoughts of our students and want them to learn good manners. But as their parents you could also teach them that giving is first and foremost about the recipient and not about the giver. I am glad you get the warm fuzzies over your children giving their teachers hours of additional work but its not about you.
But some teachers I am sure like gifts. If you don't tell us, how on earth do you know?
My husband gets a lot of random gifts from people in his work. We love them. Sometimes they are weird, not us or we don't have use for. We donate them. It's just not a big deal. But we are grateful people with manners...so....
By the way, while the primary teachers give a thank you note (usually directly in the I take home folder), I never got a thank you note from a art, PE, music, etc teacher. Despite the kids picked them gifts every year. And I don't expect it. Gifts are given, usually the recipient says thanks right away. That's all that is needed.
I agree. No one else that I give a Christmas gift to gives me a handcrafted thank you card. Not even my old boss of 8 years, my father, my best friend, or my toddler son, but I might be making it a requirement this year. A card made with crayons is acceptable (from the toddler too). lol!!
While I usually agree with you, and I do believe most gifts are given with the givers wants than the receivers, I'd just as soon not get teachers gifts because I do not give anyone else gifts outside my immediate family (mailman, UPS guy, etc). However, I've heard far too many teachers make comments about gifts, even the old FedEx guy at my last office. I was like, this is getting absurd. So I'm suppose to buy a gift for everyone that provides a service to my family? How about the guy that does my oil change? Jeesh. lol But with teachers, I don't feel it's an obligation (unless it's a teacher I don't like, which hasn't happened yet, but there was one I wasn't as fond of as the others), as they do have a large role in my child's life and I do see them as a part of our tiny family in some abstract way. Children grow fond of some teachers. So there are more than one reason that a family might want to gift a teacher, and it's not always because it's about the gift giver or feeling of obligation. Is an Amazon gift card and a handmade note really that much of a burden?
If writing the notes is a chore, that sounds like the biggest complaint, (like after a wedding, goodness help me), maybe find a creative way to mass produce some thank yous (print the card, then just sign your name). I don't think anyone would mind. Heck, I don't think I even got thank you cards from most of the teachers, but I did get verbal thanks. I didn't even notice I didn't get a card (and my 'Ms. Manners' of a godmother has me programed to send 'thank yous' for things most wouldn't even dream of).
Comparing it a wedding is fairly apt except it's for Christmas, writing letters of recommendation, end of year, and so on EVERY YEAR. I am at the point where I dread writing letters of rec for seniors because they seem to feel obligated to give a fairly major gift for that and thus I need to spend even more time writing the thank yous.
And mass thank yous are something some do, but I cannot bring myself to do that to kids when we are supposed to be an example. But I guess that is my fault and I should just suck it up and stop doing them. As for gift cards, they are a lovely thought but in my district we are told we must by something for the classroom with them, and since nothing ever actually costs $25 on Amazon I always end up just giving them to the English teachers to buy extra novels for their classes.
Some one asked if they have to give teachers presents. So since we were ASKED we volunteered our opinions. You are the one calling names and acting unbecomingly. Of course we say thank you, most of us spend hours and hours writing out and sending thank you cards because we do appreciate the thoughts of our students and want them to learn good manners. But as their parents you could also teach them that giving is first and foremost about the recipient and not about the giver. I am glad you get the warm fuzzies over your children giving their teachers hours of additional work but its not about you.
But some teachers I am sure like gifts. If you don't tell us, how on earth do you know?
My husband gets a lot of random gifts from people in his work. We love them. Sometimes they are weird, not us or we don't have use for. We donate them. It's just not a big deal. But we are grateful people with manners...so....
Once again, people with really good manners take into account the receiver.....so....
Comparing it a wedding is fairly apt except it's for Christmas, writing letters of recommendation, end of year, and so on EVERY YEAR. I am at the point where I dread writing letters of rec for seniors because they seem to feel obligated to give a fairly major gift for that and thus I need to spend even more time writing the thank yous.
And mass thank yous are something some do, but I cannot bring myself to do that to kids when we are supposed to be an example. But I guess that is my fault and I should just suck it up and stop doing them. As for gift cards, they are a lovely thought but in my district we are told we must by something for the classroom with them, and since nothing ever actually costs $25 on Amazon I always end up just giving them to the English teachers to buy extra novels for their classes.
Yes, with as many cards as you must have to write, it must feel like you are getting married every year. I do not envy that. At all.
I know how you feel about a mass produced thank you. I would feel the same way. But if it's that much of a chore (I get your pain), save your sanity.
Is that true about the district limitations?!! I did not know that. I wonder if we have that here? I never heard any of my teacher family or friends mention it. I need to ask. Well, I suppose the upside is that even if you use it for the classroom, that is less money coming out of your pocket (that you can spend on you) because we know you teachers give so much to your rooms out of your own pay.
Yes! That's when you should bring it up. When you have the parents attention without the kids there. "Our school does not accept gifts...instead, if you feel the desire, please donate to our book drive (or what ever)". Not tacky. Complaining about an adorable little one buying you a gift is tacky. Being upfront with parents is good policy.
I teach high school, they are hardly "adorable" anymore.
And I was being facetious, almost no one goes to back to school night in high school so that wouldn't be an option.
Look you clearly actually care nothing about the feelings or wants of any teacher or about the amount of hours they already spend making your special snowflake feel special. It's all about you and vicariously your child. Thank goodness you are in the minority. But don't worry the thank yous will be in the mail by next Saturday.
in this highly charged easily offended world,,,,,,keep in my social inertia,,,IF one child gives a gift, or 10 children gives a gift,,,,
the opposite can be extremely misinterpreted,,,maybe other kids would love to give their teacher a gift,,but cant afford it,,,,,,,so now they think, and feel even more poor/insulted
because when young,,they will think the teacher will notice they didn't give them a gift and think the teacher may think they don't like them..
just stop with the gifts to the teacher
if you truly insist,,make sure the parent does it one one on,,,,,,so no social stigmas
Once again, people with really good manners take into account the receiver.....so....
So...you want us to read the mind of every teacher if they like gifts or not? Some teachers like getting gifts. I would!
I coach my kids to pick out gifts that will be appreciated but also comes from their heart. It's a teaching experience for them. Hell, teachers ask me all the time to teach for them at home. Seems like it could go both ways.
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