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Yes? No? If you truly feel like this person is just a crappy teacher and she/he has been rude to you in the past and your child, do you look past it and give a gift bc it's the "season of giving"? Do it bc you don't want your child to know you don't like their teacher.
DD is in Pre-K. I got sent home a letter asking for $25 per student for a class collection for a gift. No clue who this mother is either. I'm really not a fan of class collections to begin with and when DH saw this, he said he did not want to contribute and I sort of feel the same way. After a particular incident last week, I even thought for a minute of not buying her anything, let alone contributing the $25. The assistant teacher, who is nice and does more for DD then I've seen the teacher do, is sick and has been out for weeks, so not sure when or if I can give her a gift. And it was going to be something small, like some candy. Last year dd's school had the most caring, nurturing staff around. I didn't think twice about not gifting them for XMas and end of the year. I did for both and wrote a nice hand written note both to the teacher, assistant and director. This school and teacher is the COMPLETE opposite.
So WWYD? Contribute to collection? Don't contribute and give a cheap/small gift? Or bc you think she's crappy, give nothing? What do I do about the assistant since she won't even be there.
We never gave gifts to teachers but we did give Christmas Cards to everyone who was employed at the school.
I was going to say the same thing. My mother was a teacher and she usually ended up giving most of the stuff away that was given to her. It's a nice thought but I would guess that most teachers don't need anymore candles, mugs, pens, candy and bath products.
I've never been asked to pitch in for a teacher's gift but unless the teacher were the most amazing teacher in the world I doubt I would.
I am also a teacher and don't like gifts, except for hand-written cards and maybe a special book (I teach elementary). I really don't want people to give me anything and certainly not anything expensive. A mug, an ornament, a pen, some candy or homemade cookies, etc. are all fine, but please no big gift cards, perfumes, bath bubbles, etc. I really really don't want it. But unfortunately in my area big gift cards are popular so that even I give one to my child's teacher because I feel like everyone else is doing it and I have to. Sad!
I've heard many times that the teachers don't want gifts. And I've always wondered why, if it's truly the case, they don't convey that to the parents, either individually or as a group via administration.
When I taught, I did. I clearly told my students that I did not celebrate Christmas or birthdays. Also, in a lot of schools, there is a no gift policy or a limited price on gifts. It's been my experience both as a teacher and now a parent that some things are parent driven. For example, teachers at the beginning of the year are give "favorite things list" by the PTO to fill out or like the OP'S situation, there is a parent who organizes these things.
I don't necessarily think it's the individual teacher's job to do this. It would be awkward to say please no gifts preemptively - kind of presumptive. I think it should be more of a school wide policy if at all. Because, like I said, I always appreciated it. It just was never expected.
I've never heard it until today. If it's the case, I wish they would let parents know so we could save our money. Our last school went over the top with gifts. I didn't totally mind, they were great teachers. But tuition was quite expensive...seems like the school could have just paid them more. The one that kind of bothered me was teacher appreciation WEEK. Yep a week of gifts. But it wasn't free form. It was mandated what the theme for the day would be.
My kids usually pick a special ornament for their teachers and make a card or write a letter for Christmas. Doesn't cost a ton. Last year my son made a paint your own ceramic type this for a couple teachers.
Part of me doesn't care if the teachers don't want it. It's a great way to teach kids how to think of special people and give from the heart. And foster respect for educators.
My former school celebrated teacher appreciation week by having one day where the home & school association sponsored a luncheon for all of the teachers on one of the days. Some years it was purchased/catered and some years parents signed up to bring in food. The home & school association suggested that parents and/or their children write a note of appreciation or a thank you note to their teacher sometime during that week.
I was subbing in a fairly wealthy school district this year during teacher appreciate week. They also had theme days, but it was totally up to the parents what they wanted to do or how they wanted to participate. I was in a first grade class on "flowers for your teacher day". Two or three students brought a small bouquet of flowers for the teacher, the type that you buy at a grocery store for $6 or $8. Several students brought one flower, such as a carnation that would cost $1 at a florist. And, eight or ten students had colorful drawings of a flower or a picture cut out of a magazine or printed off the internet of a bouquet of flowers for their teacher. Probably about 60/65% of the class participated in some way. But, of course that meant that 35/40% did not.
I asked the other teachers if that was pretty typical and they said that it was. Parents & their children could easily participate every single theme day that week without spending a dime. Each day was designed that a child could draw a picture or write a note and still participate. Other parents bought actual gifts or made cookies or gave something tangible every single day.
Last edited by germaine2626; 12-17-2015 at 05:38 PM..
I don't think most teachers want gifts. I never did when I was teaching. Note, though that if you are talking about preschool, often the teachers are very poorly paid. They also often furnish the classroom out of their own money - spending quite a bit on various school supplies that are not furnished by the school (when it should be).
Many preschool children enjoy giving little gifts to their teachers (this should never be something that is collected by the room parent, though, imo). A handmade card or gift is appropriate at this age. My preK kids did a large towel for swimming - putting their handprints on it with water resistant paint - this was when I taught at a YMCA preK where we swam twice a week. I am still using it after many years. Another year, kids made us bookmarks they decorated and the class mom got them laminated.
My kids rarely gave gifts to their public school teachers after kindergarten, but I often wrote a note thanking the teachers and mentioning specific ways they helped my children. These were copied to the principal for their personnel files.
In fact, k-12 teachers spend quite a lot out of pocket for their classrooms. Thus in some ways your monetary gifts may really help a teacher who spends a lot of money.
The study found that 99.5 percent of all public school teachers spent some amount of money out of pocket, with the national average for 2013-2013 coming in at $485 among those surveyed.
Broken down:
$149 out of pocket went toward school supplies;
$198 went for instructional materials; and
$138 was spent on "other classroom supplies."
A full 10 percent reported spending $1,000 or more out of pocket. That was double the percentage recorded in previous studies by the NSSEA.
Is is mandatory to give that amount??? Anyway skip it and contribute honestly on your terms not the schools.
The teachers don't know who gave and who didn't. ..unless you have a chatty room mom.
My kids usually pick a special ornament for their teachers and make a card or write a letter for Christmas. Doesn't cost a ton. Last year my son made a paint your own ceramic type this for a couple teachers.
Part of me doesn't care if the teachers don't want it. It's a great way to teach kids how to think of special people and give from the heart. And foster respect for educators.
Have you ever thought about how many ornaments, handpainted coffee mugs, knicknacks a teacher accumulates over the course of a career? Would you want all that stuff collecting in your house? Why not teach kids to give gifts that consider the gift recipient first, rather than the needs of the giver?
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