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Sorry for my rant...but i'm still in shock from what ive read in this thread.
If it makes you feel any better this was an old thread. Many (most?) of the responders are not this year's regulars on the Parenting threads. A thread begun today would, I suspect, bring very different responses.
If it makes you feel any better this was an old thread. Many (most?) of the responders are not this year's regulars on the Parenting threads. A thread begun today would, I suspect, bring very different responses.
oopss. I need to start checking the dates on these threads..thanks for pointing that out to me.
My daughter will be 18 in 2 weeks and is still in high school,she is totally disrespectful to me & her mother sometimes abuses the her little sisters and breaks things around the house can i kick her out when she turns 18, does anyone what is the limitations in the state of california can someone please advise.
My daughter will be 18 in 2 weeks and is still in high school,she is totally disrespectful to me & her mother sometimes abuses the her little sisters and breaks things around the house can i kick her out when she turns 18, does anyone what is the limitations in the state of california can someone please advise.
In most states you are responsible for your children until they turn 18 OR graduate high school. If she is attending school your legal recourse won't kick in until graduation. But, different states have different laws.
We told our kids from the time they were small - "When you turn 17, you get Samsonite - when you turn 18, you use it."
This understanding from the time they were old enough to comprehend made them look at life far differently than their peers. They knew that Mom and Dad would not support them their entire lives, were not their fallback place, were not their be-all and end-all. They started making their plans for their own lives early on - taking on responsibility, getting jobs, investigating careers, figuring out what they wanted from life and how they were to get it. They understood that a parent's responsibility is not to cater to them throughout their hapless, helpless, multidirectional lives, but to ensure only that they received an education, a comfortable and healthy home, and a good ethical and moral foundation on which to build - themselves.
Every last one - not only our own kids but our foster kids - got the promised luggage set on their 17th birthday. They were all well on their way to responsible adulthood by then, and understood that they were to start pursuing their own lives. They are all now adults (the "baby" turned 25 this year) and they are all functional, productive adults; have their own homes and their own lives. As adults, we all enjoy each others' company, send each other goofy presents and encouragement, are all on Facebook together sending pictures and comments back and forth - but we all know when to go home. When one of us is in trouble, we all band together as adults and help the one; it is reciprocal and no one expects anyone to give more of themselves than another.
The purpose of parenting is to raise fully functional adults who are independent, thoughtful, self-educating, emotionally, mentally, and physically mature, and self-reliant. Anything else is, in our opinion, pure self-aggrandizing selfishness. We love all of our kids as the cognizant and thoughtful, funny and fun-loving, responsible, loving, self-respecting and self-aware adults that they have become.
I am shocked that so many people are willing to kick their children out once they turn 18. What exectly are you going to teach them by kicking them out? IMO the teaching should've started as soon as they were born, and now you wonder why your kids have no respect for you? Not to be judgemental here, but somewhere down the road, you went wrong.
I will NEVER kick my children out. They are my children, and they will continue being my children till I die. I will never stop loving them, and will give my life for them. I will help them with everything I can, for as long as I am alive. I will never be able to sleep peacefully knowing that my 18 year old is strugling to pay rent, college, bills, ... and for what? To prove to me that he/she is responsible? What is wrong with most of the people in this country? Is it any wonder the nursing home business is such a success?
it's because a lot of these parents don't realize that they were "lucky" to be able to make it like they did
sure they probably worked hard as well, but there is always luck and the stars aligning just right for things to work out good
it's just a fact that parents can't relate to their kids, and the parents being ignorant and stubborn...
they were busy with their careers and didn't get to know their kids, let alone teach them how to succeed in the world, besides using overstated quotes that kids wouldn't understand
If they are boys paint there rooms Pink and play music you know they will hate
Here another sign
(See post #5)
I know someone who has had this sign up for about ten years. Her kids are 19 and 24, both at home, neither in college, the younger with a seasonal retail job, the older with a kid and no job. I don't know if the sign makes her feel any better about the situation.
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